Realization
I can remember a happier time in my life. That happier time is largely based on ignorance of one of the most basic tenents of humanity.
When I was much younger, I thought it was possible to know someone well enough to read their thoughts. I firmly believed that I could tell what people were thinking. People are predictable. They're easily figured out.
I think that everyone holds that belief at some time. But it's totally untrue. I'm sure I came to that realization gradually, but it seemed sudden. It seemed like sometime in middle school I suddenly woke up and realized I had no idea what anyone truly thought.
I don't know why exactly, but that was pretty much the scariest realization of my life thus far. I liked thinking I knew what was going on. I liked thinking I knew what people thought and how people felt and all those things. It was much easier to believe that people weren't capable of completely fooling me.
But they are. It's not even that hard. I just have to remind myself of that some days. Some days are harder than others simply because there's too much to interpret and not enough time to interpret it. There are too many mixed signals and vagaries. I'm too confused to take any more in. I don't get "it." What's "it?"
Everything.
When I was much younger, I thought it was possible to know someone well enough to read their thoughts. I firmly believed that I could tell what people were thinking. People are predictable. They're easily figured out.
I think that everyone holds that belief at some time. But it's totally untrue. I'm sure I came to that realization gradually, but it seemed sudden. It seemed like sometime in middle school I suddenly woke up and realized I had no idea what anyone truly thought.
I don't know why exactly, but that was pretty much the scariest realization of my life thus far. I liked thinking I knew what was going on. I liked thinking I knew what people thought and how people felt and all those things. It was much easier to believe that people weren't capable of completely fooling me.
But they are. It's not even that hard. I just have to remind myself of that some days. Some days are harder than others simply because there's too much to interpret and not enough time to interpret it. There are too many mixed signals and vagaries. I'm too confused to take any more in. I don't get "it." What's "it?"
Everything.