Ode to the Bee... <>
Okay here is an actual post because I have been my depressed half.
I got a second job.
Almost ready to move in to our wonderful house.
Life overall seems okay.
Still single. Sad about it but oh well. Nothing too earth shattering by it.
The thing that has made me want to have an ACTUAL post is this. Immature people make me mad. I have been trying so hard to be as mature as the people I hang around with -- all adults the youngest is almost 23. So I have years to cetch up on and I am trying. My deal is with the whole scene of 'you motherfuckers...' this my boyfriend that... it is really annoying with time you guys.
I had a bad past couple of days and finally I had a nice and long chat with a mother about a daughter of hers (a friend of mine) she has been asking me for advice about what to do about a situation in her daughters life and I was honest and truthful with my answers. Here are blurbs of our conversation.
Mom: i did what i had to do and i can remember being 19 and thinking "i love him and i'm going to marry him no matter what anyone else says...whether you like it or not"
Mom: it was a bad choice but i have my children that i wouldnt trade for anything and i also have you
Mom: you are the best
Mom: and you deserve the best
Mom: dont ever doubt that
Me: i always do -- but that is besides the point
Me: it sounds like barb is walking in your shoes
Mom: shes trying to think shes not
Mom: but the same things she says in her journal is the same words i used
Mom: she does have me worried though
----
Mom: oh well i dont have to know....have you had a chance to read her journal
Me: i am now
Mom: oh boy
Me: i dont like her
Mom: wow
Me: i want to call her and tell her my thoughts
Mom: that is how i felt
Mom: i dont like who she has become
Mom: what are your thought
Me: she says she isn't angry -- but it sounds like she is
Me: and she is being immature
Me: and not thinking straight with her nutrition
Me: the reason why she was sick is because chris cant take care of her
Me: if he could then she wouldnt have any problems
Mom: all true
Me: she is so bitter
Mom: yes
Mom: but why
Mom: she doesnt have reason to be
Me: she is taking it out on everyone else because chris probably tells her she doesn't do anythign wrong
Me: she is perfect
Mom: thats very true
Mom: thats exactly what he tells her
Me: so she doesnt want to go back thinking that it was her fault for WW2
Me: this is her safe spot
Me: chris is
Me: whatever she does is the right thing -- becuase it will always be with him
Mom: yeah how long will that last
Me: in her mind-- forever
Mom: i was really angry when i read that journal
Me: i still am
Me: would i be out of line to tell her how i feel about the situation
Me: bring up why everyone has the SAME THOUGHT but one person
Mom: how would you bring the conversation up
Mom: shes too close to the situation
Me: i would call her ask her how she has been -- let her know i read her journal
Mom: yeah
Me: she is the situation
Me: then obviously i cant do anything to be there for her when i dont appreciate being ignored and neglected like she has been doing.
Me: she can deal with it witout me
Me: but why step back on something good
Me: she doesn't want to lose him
Me: she will only look forward because it is with him
Me: why else would her answer be 'a few hours' to will you move in with me
Mom: true....but we all know there is something wrong with this whole thing
Me: yeah
Me: but the only way we can do something about it is only if she is willing
Me: and this is a good test to see if i actually mean anything in her life
Mom: you do liz.....thats why if we leave her alone and not make anything more out of it shell get the idea that no one really cares and she wont be getting the reaction she wants
Mom: so maybe itll take the wind out of her sails
Me: she told me that i meant the world to her. that no one would ever come between us.
Me: someone has
Me: i am her taxi
Mom: tell her that
Me: her love advisor
Mom: she needs to hear that
Mom: from you
Me: when i do -- i am going to blow up on her
Mom: that may be what she needs
Me: i will be honest and tell her everything
-----------------
There you have it. I dont apreciate the whole anger managemtn thing though the 'motherfuckers ..... go gnaw on a penis' do you really think this should come out of a 19 year old mouth?
Yeah I had something to say about that too.
Mom: when was her last entry in her journal
Me: before the crude wet pussy joke
Mom: thats just gross
Me: july 8th -- with all of the motherfuckers
Me: i know
Me: and the comment about gnawing off a penis
Me: what is wrong with her
Me: she is losing herself
Mom: and its not a regular progression of her
Mom: thats what i told her
Me: you cant find yourself with someone else -- you have to do that on your own
Me: that is how you mature
Me: and grow
Me: not with crude jokes and disgusting websites
Mom: how true
Mom: yeah but thats what she wants everyone to think she is
Me: if she wants me to think of her as some gothic kid i went to middle school with
Me: then fine
Me: i will.
Mom: but she wasnt then
Me: that is who is acting like
Me: so she is a 12 year old boy in a 19 year old girls body
Me: GIRL not women
Mom: true
Me: then may her forever be that
-----------------
Finally me, in the state that I am this was the eventual comment (who didn't see me saying this one:)
Me: i have known her for what -- 6years about
Me: i see how it is -- 6 years to what 3 - 4 months of a relationship. Good job. I applaud her choices
Mom: i know
Mom: i said that too
Me: i dont know what to say
Me: I am just ... speachless.
Mom: me too
Mom: it seems like a losing situation
Me: yeah
Mom: mostly for her
Me: well she is just going to have to make her own choices
Me: and have to deal with the consequences
Mom: we will be here for her when it all falls down around her
Me: yes
Me: as much as i want to say i wont..
Me: i probably will be.
--------------------
I am sorry for taking this stab on you. But I know that if I did call you I would make some rude comments and probably throw away a strong relationship.
Just know this is how I stand. If you dont like it. Then you can contact me and tell me you dont like it -- then I will be happy to say it over the phone or in person.
The ball is in your court.
Becuase I no longer have time to play these games.
--------------------
Buzz, listen to this song. Or at least watch the video.
All I ask dont be mad at your mom. I fed the fire more than she did. She will support you no matter what. I on the other hand -- wont.
I got a second job.
Almost ready to move in to our wonderful house.
Life overall seems okay.
Still single. Sad about it but oh well. Nothing too earth shattering by it.
The thing that has made me want to have an ACTUAL post is this. Immature people make me mad. I have been trying so hard to be as mature as the people I hang around with -- all adults the youngest is almost 23. So I have years to cetch up on and I am trying. My deal is with the whole scene of 'you motherfuckers...' this my boyfriend that... it is really annoying with time you guys.
I had a bad past couple of days and finally I had a nice and long chat with a mother about a daughter of hers (a friend of mine) she has been asking me for advice about what to do about a situation in her daughters life and I was honest and truthful with my answers. Here are blurbs of our conversation.
Mom: i did what i had to do and i can remember being 19 and thinking "i love him and i'm going to marry him no matter what anyone else says...whether you like it or not"
Mom: it was a bad choice but i have my children that i wouldnt trade for anything and i also have you
Mom: you are the best
Mom: and you deserve the best
Mom: dont ever doubt that
Me: i always do -- but that is besides the point
Me: it sounds like barb is walking in your shoes
Mom: shes trying to think shes not
Mom: but the same things she says in her journal is the same words i used
Mom: she does have me worried though
----
Mom: oh well i dont have to know....have you had a chance to read her journal
Me: i am now
Mom: oh boy
Me: i dont like her
Mom: wow
Me: i want to call her and tell her my thoughts
Mom: that is how i felt
Mom: i dont like who she has become
Mom: what are your thought
Me: she says she isn't angry -- but it sounds like she is
Me: and she is being immature
Me: and not thinking straight with her nutrition
Me: the reason why she was sick is because chris cant take care of her
Me: if he could then she wouldnt have any problems
Mom: all true
Me: she is so bitter
Mom: yes
Mom: but why
Mom: she doesnt have reason to be
Me: she is taking it out on everyone else because chris probably tells her she doesn't do anythign wrong
Me: she is perfect
Mom: thats very true
Mom: thats exactly what he tells her
Me: so she doesnt want to go back thinking that it was her fault for WW2
Me: this is her safe spot
Me: chris is
Me: whatever she does is the right thing -- becuase it will always be with him
Mom: yeah how long will that last
Me: in her mind-- forever
Mom: i was really angry when i read that journal
Me: i still am
Me: would i be out of line to tell her how i feel about the situation
Me: bring up why everyone has the SAME THOUGHT but one person
Mom: how would you bring the conversation up
Mom: shes too close to the situation
Me: i would call her ask her how she has been -- let her know i read her journal
Mom: yeah
Me: she is the situation
Me: then obviously i cant do anything to be there for her when i dont appreciate being ignored and neglected like she has been doing.
Me: she can deal with it witout me
Me: but why step back on something good
Me: she doesn't want to lose him
Me: she will only look forward because it is with him
Me: why else would her answer be 'a few hours' to will you move in with me
Mom: true....but we all know there is something wrong with this whole thing
Me: yeah
Me: but the only way we can do something about it is only if she is willing
Me: and this is a good test to see if i actually mean anything in her life
Mom: you do liz.....thats why if we leave her alone and not make anything more out of it shell get the idea that no one really cares and she wont be getting the reaction she wants
Mom: so maybe itll take the wind out of her sails
Me: she told me that i meant the world to her. that no one would ever come between us.
Me: someone has
Me: i am her taxi
Mom: tell her that
Me: her love advisor
Mom: she needs to hear that
Mom: from you
Me: when i do -- i am going to blow up on her
Mom: that may be what she needs
Me: i will be honest and tell her everything
-----------------
There you have it. I dont apreciate the whole anger managemtn thing though the 'motherfuckers ..... go gnaw on a penis' do you really think this should come out of a 19 year old mouth?
Yeah I had something to say about that too.
Mom: when was her last entry in her journal
Me: before the crude wet pussy joke
Mom: thats just gross
Me: july 8th -- with all of the motherfuckers
Me: i know
Me: and the comment about gnawing off a penis
Me: what is wrong with her
Me: she is losing herself
Mom: and its not a regular progression of her
Mom: thats what i told her
Me: you cant find yourself with someone else -- you have to do that on your own
Me: that is how you mature
Me: and grow
Me: not with crude jokes and disgusting websites
Mom: how true
Mom: yeah but thats what she wants everyone to think she is
Me: if she wants me to think of her as some gothic kid i went to middle school with
Me: then fine
Me: i will.
Mom: but she wasnt then
Me: that is who is acting like
Me: so she is a 12 year old boy in a 19 year old girls body
Me: GIRL not women
Mom: true
Me: then may her forever be that
-----------------
Finally me, in the state that I am this was the eventual comment (who didn't see me saying this one:)
Me: i have known her for what -- 6years about
Me: i see how it is -- 6 years to what 3 - 4 months of a relationship. Good job. I applaud her choices
Mom: i know
Mom: i said that too
Me: i dont know what to say
Me: I am just ... speachless.
Mom: me too
Mom: it seems like a losing situation
Me: yeah
Mom: mostly for her
Me: well she is just going to have to make her own choices
Me: and have to deal with the consequences
Mom: we will be here for her when it all falls down around her
Me: yes
Me: as much as i want to say i wont..
Me: i probably will be.
--------------------
I am sorry for taking this stab on you. But I know that if I did call you I would make some rude comments and probably throw away a strong relationship.
Just know this is how I stand. If you dont like it. Then you can contact me and tell me you dont like it -- then I will be happy to say it over the phone or in person.
The ball is in your court.
Becuase I no longer have time to play these games.
--------------------
Buzz, listen to this song. Or at least watch the video.
All I ask dont be mad at your mom. I fed the fire more than she did. She will support you no matter what. I on the other hand -- wont.