okey dokey
so i have a new picture.....!!!! yay.
and i have kind of redone some stuff on here...but i still want to do more.
like i want to put a picture as my background instead of just boringness.
anyways, so update on me!!
school still sucks. but of course, and that will probably not change--ever...
or maybe it will when i go off to college. which is also proving to be a HUGE stress-factor for me (as well as for everyone i think).
i feel so busy and overwhelmed, but then when i think about it i feel like i really shouldn't be feeling that way because i really am not doing that much. i mean i am only taking five classes (not including dance) and i am now thinking i have to drop one of them. its like i don't deserve to be freaked out and stressed. there are way more people who are taking more classes than me and they are handling everything fine.
ugh and that too. i keep comparing myself to other people. i really should stop that. because i am not other people, i'm just me. its like, my mom picked me up from SAT class (or something) and she was driving me home and i started to get really upset because she kept talking about ben and what he was doing, and that amy would help me with my college essays because "she's done like fifteen!" and that just made me sooo sad. i was like, "fifteen?!?!? what the fuck?" and she responded in a tone that was like, well DUH, don't you know, he's applying to ALLLLL that top ivy league schools!! and of course i know he's like brilliant and everything and that he's going to go to princeton or harvard or penn or yale or the like, but really don't need my OWN mother telling me i am insufficient. and then i think i totally broke down and started yelling at her (i was also REALLLLLLLLLY tired and starving) about how i'm not perfect and i'm not ben and that both of my parents want him as their kid and i should just go runaway or something because i am not wanted.
it was all just really kind of childish and irrational. they know who i am and they know that i am not ben, nor am i anything like him. i know that and they know that. but still....i must vent sometimes. everything was just building up....and it still is and feel like any day now i might just get angry at them (my parents) again and it will just be dumb and unfounded.
so yep, pretty much i'm gonna go crazy one day and just pull all my hair out of something.
so don't surprised and don't say i didn't warn you. ;)
naywho. (yes, that was on purpose: NAYwho. i think it just sounds cooler.)
to add on to all this stress and shit, i am stage manager for the fall production of MacBeth.
i feel kind of lost already.....and reallllllly unorganized. even though i spent like an hour last night organizing everything. but whatever.
i'm slightly excited about it, but i'm also worried that it won't be done in time....
...like with Grease!!!
wow. impressive.
so i have to go finish my homework, stupid "Cornell Notes". i actually started doing my homework on friday (kinda) and did A LOT on saturday! ::golf clap for me::
oh yea...so i went to the Piedmont football game on friday night. it was interesting. very.
and i have kind of redone some stuff on here...but i still want to do more.
like i want to put a picture as my background instead of just boringness.
anyways, so update on me!!
school still sucks. but of course, and that will probably not change--ever...
or maybe it will when i go off to college. which is also proving to be a HUGE stress-factor for me (as well as for everyone i think).
i feel so busy and overwhelmed, but then when i think about it i feel like i really shouldn't be feeling that way because i really am not doing that much. i mean i am only taking five classes (not including dance) and i am now thinking i have to drop one of them. its like i don't deserve to be freaked out and stressed. there are way more people who are taking more classes than me and they are handling everything fine.
ugh and that too. i keep comparing myself to other people. i really should stop that. because i am not other people, i'm just me. its like, my mom picked me up from SAT class (or something) and she was driving me home and i started to get really upset because she kept talking about ben and what he was doing, and that amy would help me with my college essays because "she's done like fifteen!" and that just made me sooo sad. i was like, "fifteen?!?!? what the fuck?" and she responded in a tone that was like, well DUH, don't you know, he's applying to ALLLLL that top ivy league schools!! and of course i know he's like brilliant and everything and that he's going to go to princeton or harvard or penn or yale or the like, but really don't need my OWN mother telling me i am insufficient. and then i think i totally broke down and started yelling at her (i was also REALLLLLLLLLY tired and starving) about how i'm not perfect and i'm not ben and that both of my parents want him as their kid and i should just go runaway or something because i am not wanted.
it was all just really kind of childish and irrational. they know who i am and they know that i am not ben, nor am i anything like him. i know that and they know that. but still....i must vent sometimes. everything was just building up....and it still is and feel like any day now i might just get angry at them (my parents) again and it will just be dumb and unfounded.
so yep, pretty much i'm gonna go crazy one day and just pull all my hair out of something.
so don't surprised and don't say i didn't warn you. ;)
naywho. (yes, that was on purpose: NAYwho. i think it just sounds cooler.)
to add on to all this stress and shit, i am stage manager for the fall production of MacBeth.
i feel kind of lost already.....and reallllllly unorganized. even though i spent like an hour last night organizing everything. but whatever.
i'm slightly excited about it, but i'm also worried that it won't be done in time....
...like with Grease!!!
wow. impressive.
so i have to go finish my homework, stupid "Cornell Notes". i actually started doing my homework on friday (kinda) and did A LOT on saturday! ::golf clap for me::
oh yea...so i went to the Piedmont football game on friday night. it was interesting. very.