i'm saved!
about being "fat"...
it's now been proven that BMI is BS. (haha get it...the similarity in BMI and BS makes that funny) and these (in all seriousness) are the 10 real ways to tell whether you're overweight or not:
No. 10: I find myself sucking air after performing the acrobatic maneuver needed to get a sock on my foot. Like some big-bellied reject from Cirque de Soleil, I have to perfectly gauge the distance I need to bend at the waist with the distance I need to lift my leg. Accuracy is everything. I can only hold this position for seconds at a time without passing out.
No. 9: I lie on the bed and flop about and groan like the girl in the Exorcist to get my pants buttoned or snapped. You do that and there's a pretty good chance that you’re fat... or that you are too cheap to replace your high school-era pants.
No. 8: I need my two hands -- and a third from a friend -- to pick up my full-sugar fountain Pepsi. If I am drinking the bucket-sized sodas, I am in trouble. It means I have chosen gluttony over portion control.
No. 7: If my lower abdomen sports the unmistakable markings of my car's steering wheel, there's a good chance I am fat. Which leads to...
No. 6: If my driver's seat is laid back in the practically prone position and I can easily touch the rear window by scratching my ear, I am fat and desperately trying to escape No. 7. Think about it.
No. 5: My pile of picked-clean chicken bones resembles the sun-bleached skeletons found in old pirate movies. I know I've been especially thorough if Scruffy, my ever-hungry golden retriever, turns up his nose at the bones I've just finished working over.
No. 4: Shirts with only a single X on the label aren't comfy enough. Same goes for pants with waistlines of less than 40.
No. 3: The Mansierre (or Bro) episode of Seinfeld stops being funny because, like Frank Costanza, I too could use a tad more support... up there.
No. 2: A wrestling match with my kids and dog clocks in shorter than the commercials shown between evening news segments. I use the remainder of that annoying Cialis ad to catch my breath and slurp my Pepsi.
No. 1: I know I am fat when I play Dracula and avoid mirrors at all costs. Hey, it's easier to remain in denial if you don't have to come face to face with those chipmunk cheeks that sort of resemble yours... only much heavier!
*wipes brow*
<3 Becca
it's now been proven that BMI is BS. (haha get it...the similarity in BMI and BS makes that funny) and these (in all seriousness) are the 10 real ways to tell whether you're overweight or not:
No. 10: I find myself sucking air after performing the acrobatic maneuver needed to get a sock on my foot. Like some big-bellied reject from Cirque de Soleil, I have to perfectly gauge the distance I need to bend at the waist with the distance I need to lift my leg. Accuracy is everything. I can only hold this position for seconds at a time without passing out.
No. 9: I lie on the bed and flop about and groan like the girl in the Exorcist to get my pants buttoned or snapped. You do that and there's a pretty good chance that you’re fat... or that you are too cheap to replace your high school-era pants.
No. 8: I need my two hands -- and a third from a friend -- to pick up my full-sugar fountain Pepsi. If I am drinking the bucket-sized sodas, I am in trouble. It means I have chosen gluttony over portion control.
No. 7: If my lower abdomen sports the unmistakable markings of my car's steering wheel, there's a good chance I am fat. Which leads to...
No. 6: If my driver's seat is laid back in the practically prone position and I can easily touch the rear window by scratching my ear, I am fat and desperately trying to escape No. 7. Think about it.
No. 5: My pile of picked-clean chicken bones resembles the sun-bleached skeletons found in old pirate movies. I know I've been especially thorough if Scruffy, my ever-hungry golden retriever, turns up his nose at the bones I've just finished working over.
No. 4: Shirts with only a single X on the label aren't comfy enough. Same goes for pants with waistlines of less than 40.
No. 3: The Mansierre (or Bro) episode of Seinfeld stops being funny because, like Frank Costanza, I too could use a tad more support... up there.
No. 2: A wrestling match with my kids and dog clocks in shorter than the commercials shown between evening news segments. I use the remainder of that annoying Cialis ad to catch my breath and slurp my Pepsi.
No. 1: I know I am fat when I play Dracula and avoid mirrors at all costs. Hey, it's easier to remain in denial if you don't have to come face to face with those chipmunk cheeks that sort of resemble yours... only much heavier!
*wipes brow*
<3 Becca