Out with the old, in with the new!
Sooooo... This is the end of an era. Those of you that knew me might have refered to me as "Sexual" Italo at one point. I will release no statement at this time as to how i achieved this title but i can tell you, it was due to my macking skills and ability to please those ladies that were, lets say "mature"...ahmm...yes the cougars! However, there comes a time in every mans life, where decisions have to be made, and hence, since i am now a "family man" I care not for titles such as sexual anymore.
Since the dawn of time, torches have been passed, in the form of olympic torches, venerial disceases, and yes, even the dreaded clap! And I for one would like to formally pass the torch of sexual, in writing to our good friend Mark aka "SEXUAL ATOM BIZZZLACCK" as he is the man who truly deserves such honour.
History repeats itself, and has proven in the past that when competing for a girl, no one stands a chance if Mark is in the race. The formal ceremony took place at the phoenix this saturday,followed by an emotional speech, and 3 GIRLS LATER...The man himself took his torch home..(well, not literally since it was in the form of a beer, so the torch is actually flowing through our sewage system as we speak)...
There have been many runner ups for this category before, but none came close...I remember a certain someone claiming he was the new sexual...but seriously guy, no seriously, no i like you guy, but no seriously...NOT EVEN CLOSE! and HEY...Yeah so cheese is cool,and I'm white, PENGUINS!!...BAYYYAAAAM HELL NO!, here's a ball, perhaps you'd like to bounce it!, and lets not forget..."LADIES...ME A.D.D" -that has as much chance as jack has becoming an auctioneer.
Mark is the only man, with enough grace and mackability to make him eligible for this title. His sticktoitiveness have earned him this truly re-MARK-able achievement. SO as this MARKs the beginning of a new era, I would like to say, Mark, this torch is yours, use it wisely my friend, and remember, "poon comes to you, you do not go to poon."
Yours Truly,
"FAMILY" ITALO
P.S Modesty is the key... (i.e)
"I have a light switch penis"...Mark's obviously got an enourmous penis, an if found out, he could face several months of intense testing, therefore the perfect cover...an asian with a small penis. YOU GENIUS!!!
Since the dawn of time, torches have been passed, in the form of olympic torches, venerial disceases, and yes, even the dreaded clap! And I for one would like to formally pass the torch of sexual, in writing to our good friend Mark aka "SEXUAL ATOM BIZZZLACCK" as he is the man who truly deserves such honour.
History repeats itself, and has proven in the past that when competing for a girl, no one stands a chance if Mark is in the race. The formal ceremony took place at the phoenix this saturday,followed by an emotional speech, and 3 GIRLS LATER...The man himself took his torch home..(well, not literally since it was in the form of a beer, so the torch is actually flowing through our sewage system as we speak)...
There have been many runner ups for this category before, but none came close...I remember a certain someone claiming he was the new sexual...but seriously guy, no seriously, no i like you guy, but no seriously...NOT EVEN CLOSE! and HEY...Yeah so cheese is cool,and I'm white, PENGUINS!!...BAYYYAAAAM HELL NO!, here's a ball, perhaps you'd like to bounce it!, and lets not forget..."LADIES...ME A.D.D" -that has as much chance as jack has becoming an auctioneer.
Mark is the only man, with enough grace and mackability to make him eligible for this title. His sticktoitiveness have earned him this truly re-MARK-able achievement. SO as this MARKs the beginning of a new era, I would like to say, Mark, this torch is yours, use it wisely my friend, and remember, "poon comes to you, you do not go to poon."
Yours Truly,
"FAMILY" ITALO
P.S Modesty is the key... (i.e)
"I have a light switch penis"...Mark's obviously got an enourmous penis, an if found out, he could face several months of intense testing, therefore the perfect cover...an asian with a small penis. YOU GENIUS!!!