lala
yay so my apartment is final...thank god. im really pretty excited. im also really excited for the clinical course this summer and my new job. it was depressing though today. i went to "orientation" and watched 3 hours of videos by myself on how to take care of (dying) old people. i actually started to cry a little in the room; at least i was alone. maybe i was thinking of grandma. thats alright though...my boss and i get along so well.
im struggling with the dilemma of going to med school. i figured that i'll try nursing until my loans are done and decide then. the reasons are too complicated and long to go into.
im really not excited about people who act like they're prepubescent brats though. it's repulsively annoying. the culminating effect is pervading my mind and driving me nuts. hopefully it'll subside before i act too rash upon provocation. i don't tend to do much of anything until something eggs me on, so i just hope for EVERYONE'S sake that things lay low.
i don't feel like homework this weekend. blegh. almost over though.
my mistress is coming next week! i need to make sure i'll be able to stick around. aka...grandma...behave yourself.
what else can i say...i don't know. i'm happy with the way things are going, with the exception of some annoyances. *controls growing rage at thought*
i miss malex. it's so strange...i haven't experienced this feeling in such a long time. i wish i was lying next to him; i wish that he was holding me now the way he does when my head is on his chest. ugh...my sappiness is nauseating me. meh, give me some credit...i haven't felt this way in a while. why do i now? i guess because after the diner incident a few weeks ago, he's been going great length to show me that he really does love me. he just has some permeating issues he needs to work out, and that's alright. his issues are quite large. i guess i really do love this kid. it's just that he makes me feel like such shit at times, and i cant discern whether it's him or his external problems stressing him out. im sure i'll be better able to decide when he's on his own, according to him at least. either i have disgustingly low self-esteem, or i have that rare unconditional love for him. im not sure i know yet. but i do know that im falling in love again for the person who is now acting the way he did when i met him. whether this is an illusion or deception, i don't know yet.
ew god, im disgusting myself haha.
im struggling with the dilemma of going to med school. i figured that i'll try nursing until my loans are done and decide then. the reasons are too complicated and long to go into.
im really not excited about people who act like they're prepubescent brats though. it's repulsively annoying. the culminating effect is pervading my mind and driving me nuts. hopefully it'll subside before i act too rash upon provocation. i don't tend to do much of anything until something eggs me on, so i just hope for EVERYONE'S sake that things lay low.
i don't feel like homework this weekend. blegh. almost over though.
my mistress is coming next week! i need to make sure i'll be able to stick around. aka...grandma...behave yourself.
what else can i say...i don't know. i'm happy with the way things are going, with the exception of some annoyances. *controls growing rage at thought*
i miss malex. it's so strange...i haven't experienced this feeling in such a long time. i wish i was lying next to him; i wish that he was holding me now the way he does when my head is on his chest. ugh...my sappiness is nauseating me. meh, give me some credit...i haven't felt this way in a while. why do i now? i guess because after the diner incident a few weeks ago, he's been going great length to show me that he really does love me. he just has some permeating issues he needs to work out, and that's alright. his issues are quite large. i guess i really do love this kid. it's just that he makes me feel like such shit at times, and i cant discern whether it's him or his external problems stressing him out. im sure i'll be better able to decide when he's on his own, according to him at least. either i have disgustingly low self-esteem, or i have that rare unconditional love for him. im not sure i know yet. but i do know that im falling in love again for the person who is now acting the way he did when i met him. whether this is an illusion or deception, i don't know yet.
ew god, im disgusting myself haha.