Chorus (Metalocalypse, slash, multiple pairings)
Sort-of a followup to Play Your Part
Toki ran his hand over it again. Dildo. Bright green. He pulled it out of the harness and turned it over in his hands. He wrapped his fingers around it, running them from the tip to the flared base, where it got just a bit wider. It felt short, but his hand fit around it in such a familiar way. Sighing, he stood it on the table. It curved just enough to make him feel watched. Turning it away, it looked sullen. He turned towards his wardrobe - out of sight, and it would stop accusing him, stop being a neon-green mistake - when the door opened.
Skwisgaar looked at Toki, watching the color rise to his cheeks. He leaned against the doorframe and folded his arms.
"I'm a screw-up," Toki said, grabbing the dildo.
"Yous want more? Is dot it?" He watched Toki's fingers squeeze around it.
"It's a mistake."
He laughed. "Your idea is dildos. I gives you the idea. I must have said it, oh, a hundred times, two hundred times. I should know you take it literaterly."
"Just because yous experienced doesn't mean..." Toki heaved an exaggerated sigh and pulled the wardrobe door open. The offending object was thrust among abandoned pastel shirts.
"Yous so frustrated."
"What?" Toki pulled some scarves and other rarely worn garments around it.
"Yous so frustrated. I see it." Skwisgaar yawned, stretched his arms above his head, and smiled thinly. "I should show you what dat's for, eh? If yous is not afraid."
He ducked under the other man's outstretched arm, into the hallway. "I just stop here for a minute. The meeting..."
"Oh, ja," he yawned. A few long strides and he'd caught up to the Norwegian. "We do that now. Laters tonight, you come up to my room." Fingers tangled in brown hair, slowing him down. "With dot thing, and maybes I'll shows you how to fuck yourself."
Toki wriggled out from his grip as they approached the meeting room.
--
It filled him. The vibration was pleasant, but distant. Then it was forgotten; all that still existed was in front of him. All that still existed looked amused.
"What?" he asked, saliva dripping from his lips.
"Don'ts talk with your mouth full." Skwisgaar pushed him back down. "And keeps your mouth full."
Toki brushed his hair back. He rubbed his thumbs against Skwisgaar's sides, sliding them down until he found the spot that made him flinch.
Skwisgaar let his eyelids fall, watching Toki through his pale lashes. He lifted his hips in time with the slow pattern they'd fallen into, what he thought of as their standard rhythm. The dildo changed nothing. A hand wrapped around his cock. They were both losing their patience, both striving for speed. He leaned his head back and moaned as the other man jerked him off.
Toki lifted his head again; come dripped to Skwisgaar's thigh. The blond made a noise of annoyance and nudged Toki away with his knee.
"It's not the same," Toki said, leaning his face and wiping his chin on the bed. "It's okay, I guess." Skwisgaar stood, stretching, and thumped his hand on Toki's back. Fingers tapped each vertebra, landing at the end on the green device. He turned the dial off and slid it partway out. "I mean," Toki continued, mumbling into the mattress, "it makes me kinds of goes numb."
Skwisgaar rammed the false penis back in. Toki yelped. Already spent - at least for the moment - Skwisgaar watched more clearly than usual. Brown hair spilled over the white bed. At the edge of his vision, green disappeared and reappeared. That had lost his interest some time ago; the reaction, not the tool, was his amusement. Toki clawed at the sheets; his body drifted backwards and was forced forwards under Skwisgaar's hands. Breath was easy, this, the song they came back to play again and again.
When the back moved close again, Skwisgaar raked fingernails down, tearing into skin as Toki moved away. Two left deep scratches; two thin lines of blood welled up next to those. Toki groaned and shifted one shoulder down, freeing his other arm to finish what was close. On his back, Skwisgaar ran his fingertips along the wounds, irritating them, spreading blood. The green dildo pounded again, dull, and the wounds on Toki's back screamed, and he muffled his shout in the pillows as his semen spilled out of his hand.
Skwisgaar, restraining himself, slid the object out slowly, watching the other man squirm as he twisted the final inch. Toki sighed, feeling come trickle cold around his knees.
"Don'ts even think about getting your bloods anywhere."
He ignored this, his ass and back still up, the air cooler as Skwisgaar moved away. "Dat was better. We needs to find something that does that."
Skwisgaar snorted. "Dey don't makes things that do that; dat's what real cocks is for."
"Oh," he sighed, extending his legs and lying face down along the bed. "Where we gonna find another cock?" He flinched as the blond settled into the bed next to him and ran his fingers along the blood.
"It's been long times since I did something like dot," Skwisgaar said, looking at the still metronome. "Back when wes had to shares fans, crappy little gigs, you know? Dis one time, we were both lookings at dis hot chick, right? So she gives him blowjob and I fucks from behind her while she does that."
"Oh, that sounds cool." Toki smiled and turned to face the other man. "Whos you do that with?"
Nathan, Skwisgaar thought. The singer had been half-passed out and his huge, broad hand had covered her entire head. The girl probably hadn't even seen Skwisgaar, hadn't known who'd been fucking her while she was too busy to protest. Kneeling on the floor like that, with that skirt on? An open invitation. He wondered if Nathan had noticed. Soon after, their luck had changed and there was never a shortage; no matter how out of the way, how dry and dull the town was, the alcohol and the women always flowed towards them.
He reached down beneath the bed and pulled a box onto his lap. Fingers that couldn't stop moving scraped a chunk from the brick of hash and into a thin pipe. When the box was tucked away again, he leaned against the pillows and flicked a lighter beneath the bowl.
"Some very lucky lady. You knows I don't keep track." Skwisgaar inhaled, letting the oily smoke flow down and pinch inside his lungs.
That's not what I'm asking, Toki thought as a hand started stroking his hair. You know that. He sucked on the offered pipe and closed his eyes. And when I wake up I'll forget to ask again, that's why you're doing this. And you'll forget you brought it up. At least, that's what you hope. "She was lucky. Let's do dat."
Skwisgaar chuckled; the lighter click-clicked in an echo. "Yeah? Which side you wants to be on?"
Toki shifted onto his back gently, not wanting to tear the cuts open again. He tried to imagine one of the fans with her head buried in his lap. He'd be able to watch Skwisgaar, he thought. Watch him fuck lazily, carelessly, but feel nothing unless the girl shuddered. The other way? Even worse. Just eliminate her, he thought, breathing in acrid smoke. "In the middle," he said, drowsing, passing the pipe back. "Like tonight. We's just...find someone else." He laughed. "You know who fuck good?"
Skwisgaar closed his eyes. "I know some people."
"Yeah," Toki said, letting his arm fall to one side. "Yous known lots of people."
"Ja."
One came to mind, wouldn't leave. It wouldn't be possible, he thought as his mind began to drift into the abstract, to find many people. This couldn't get out. That much had been said when the band started to get big. It doesn't matter what you do as long as no one finds out about this. No one outside. So there were five people. One was in bed right now; one of them made him shudder to consider it. Pickles tended to get bored when sex became difficult. And while he trusted their manager, he wasn't exactly someone to be bedded. He was the stern warning, the look when he was backstage and his eyes were drifting. Suddenly the man floated into his head, grotesque, lizard-like, unblinking and with husks made of contract papers. He stared at the sheaf of paternity waivers across the room and saw them ripple, overturn, heard a voice say, "Ah, so you won't be needing these anymore? Is that it?" No, he protested. No, let the women come to him. A voice in the back cried out in triumph - he was not thinking of the one last man, the one that was the only real possibility and the only real risk - and as soon as the voice made itself heard, the vision collapsed in on itself and turned into a memory of that night when he and Nathan had shared that fan. Memories that were not memories warped the woman smaller, until he saw only Nathan, the roar of his orgasm, and realized there was no escape from what would happen.
"Ja," he repeated. "I think what, we do this, you gets it out of your system."
Toki smiled, his eyes closed. Green and black and red lines serpentined behind his eyelids, twisting and disappearing into each other. It never took very long for the drugs to work like this and he relaxed into the visions.
--
"I needs a favor."
"No."
"It's not for me. It's favor for Toki. He says he needs 'something.'" Skwisgaar made air quotes around the last word and then crossed his arms again and leaned against the edge of the couch. "Something extra, you knows? More than one, he thinks he can handle. Like that chick that time."
Nathan grinned. The air grew still while he waited. He stood up and walked close to the Swede, leaning close. "You not good enough for him anymore? Is that why he bought that, uh, codpiece?"
"Fuck you!" He raised himself the few inches he had on the singer and turned to leave. "This idea is worse than dildos."
He let him get halfway down the hallway.
"I'll do it, you ass," Nathan roared. Skwisgaar stopped and turned to look - glare - over his shoulder. "On my terms."
"What are dem?"
He chuckled. "I'm not fucking telling you. You'll try to change 'em. Just yes or no."
Skwisgaar's hands folded and moved, looking for a guitar to keep them busy. With nothing, it was futile. He thought of the moment Nathan had flipped him, that moment of indecision when he had fucked up and lost. He'd crawled away to find Toki, a pipe, some pills, anything. What he'd ended up with was a weak substitute for anything. The fan wait-list had shrunk as he tore through them for the last five days. Not at night, though. Nights had been for the temporary oblivion, a speedball of Toki and opiates.
"You worried you can't handle it, huh?"
"Yous is not fuckings me again," he seethed. "Just him."
"You remember that time with that chick," Nathan said, smirking and folding his arms. "I'm surprised. Of all the thousands."
Skwisgaar shrugged. All his remembering had gotten done last night, and he'd been so pleased when the rest of the hash had settled in a soft fog around his brain and obliterated the clear thoughts.
"I ain't watching you cry like a fucking girl again, so no, I won't fuck you. Other than that, I ain't promising anything."
"Fine," Swkisgaar said, glaring. His hands ached. "Just...tells me, whenever." He started to walk down the hallway again. Something fluttered and hit him awkwardly in the back.
"Go write something to go with those words," Nathan said.
He picked up the pad and flipped through it. Some of the pages were stuck together. It was surprisingly colorful, given that it was only written on with a black marker. "Dere's...like, two-wenty pages here."
"There's stuff near the back that's all marked up. More. Murderface and Toki and I did it this morning."
Nathan stomped back to the room. The door clanged. Skwisgaar stood in the hallway, flipping the pages back and forth. Near the end of the notepad were some full verses with notes scrawled on top and around them. All in fucking marker, he thought. Entirely impossible to read. Not that it mattered; music didn't live on paper.
--
"Ma'am," Nathan said, moving aside to let her by. She giggled and brushed grey hair back towards the bun that once held it tightly.
"How are you such an asshole," he said, looking down the hallway - the woman made a shuffling attempt at a skip - "but you'll do that?"
Skwisgaar picked up his guitar and shrugged. "I likes variety."
"I want to get everyone working on 'Lake of Organs' after dinner. Then you get your favor."
"Is not for me," he said, reaching forward and starting the metronome. His lip curled in a sneer; reflex, not really meant. The song took over, all other humans forgotten.
"You keep saying that," Nathan said, and slammed the door closed. Skwisgaar's mind filtered out the sound. The door opened again. Concentration broken, he meant his glare.
"Don't fuckin' tell Toki. Gonna be a surprise."
He held his stare, silently and blindly playing.
The door clanged shut again. "Fucking favor," Nathan growled. His mind turned the words over and he mumbled a few new ideas into the recorder by the time he reached the elevator.
--
Skwisgaar edged closer to Toki throughout the song. He was behind him when Nathan stopped them and went to listen and adjust the levels. His knee slid along the inside of Toki's leg. Toki leaned backwards, touching his shoulder to Skwisgaar's. He knew. Skwisgaar backed away and pretended to adjust the tuning on the guitar.
"How was your 'experienced' lady today?" he asked, pulling his shirt off. Skwisgaar tried to ignore the conversation the other man tried to make sometimes. Never at convenient times. "You know, it's like yous is a charity for horny old ladies." He unfastened the belt on the recumbent Swede's waist, and looked up suddenly. "You ever kills one?"
Skwisgaar tilted his hips and waited for Toki to continue at his waist. "You means, like, they die from having sex with me?"
"Yeah."
"Wells, you know, sometimes that happen. Only a few times. Like...two. Maybe three."
"Dat's brutal." Toki paused and traced the outline of Skwisgaar's cock through his tight trousers. "But sounds to me dat's a good way to die." He lowered his face and let his lips graze the leather. Eyes closed, he breathed the air around him as he slowly worked the zipper. Sweat, leather, hash and whiskey. Whiskey? Strange. He looked up at the table by the bed but saw only an oozing ashtray and a mostly-full bottle of vodka. His eyes flicked to the center; Skwisgaar placed the pipe in the ashtray and, eyes looking somewhere in the distance, wriggled out of his trousers. Toki knelt between his legs and stretched, waiting for him.
Something grabbed his arms as they were above and behind his head. Another hand, still holding a bottle in two fingers, clamped over his mouth, and the scent of whiskey returned in a whisper by his ear.
"Surprise."
Nathan shoved Toki towards Skwisgaar. "Get him undressed," he growled, sitting on the side of the bed. He took another swig from the bottle and placed it next to the bed. Boots clunked against the door as he tossed them aside. The bed shifted as Nathan stood again and tossed his clothing into a pile against the door.
Leaning awkwardly as Skwisgaar tugged his pants down past his knees, Toki turned his head to watch Nathan. Nathan wandered over to the table beside the bed and picked up the hash pipe and a lighter. How long had he been in the room? "Why is you here?" he asked, tumbling backwards as Skwisgaar jerked his foot free.
"He hears you need more cock," Skwisgaar answered, grinning. He grabbed Toki's wrists and jerked him onto the bed. "Yous is a greedy bastard that we have to watch."
Nathan coughed and exchanged the pipe for a bottle of lube. He shook it, then turned it upside-down. Crushing it in his fist, he squeezed a single drop from it. Skwisgaar dodged the empty bottle and shrugged.
Nathan grabbed Toki's waist between his hands, fingers almost meeting in front, and pulled him, kneeling, to the edge. His thumbs followed the thin lines on Toki's back, faint marks five, three, two nights old. "I see you've been taken care of," he said, running a dull nail along them. Toki arched his back in agreement. "Start working on him."
Toki leaned forward, hands creeping up Skwisgaar's thighs like before. Now nothing stood between his lips and the fine hair on Skwisgaar's stomach; he flicked a tongue across his stomach and breathed along the line of moisture. On the bed, Skwisgaar reached for a pillow and propped himself up. One hand rested behind his head; the second moved Toki's hair first to one side, then spread it around. Silk sheets never felt as decadent as having long hair skim along bare skin.
Between this, Toki's lips finally touched down, lightly. He turned his head, letting each side of his moustache graze the length. Blood swelled beneath the thin skin, and he looked up, briefly, blue eyes meeting blue eyes, before running his tongue down. It firmed as his mouth settled around the head. Even after years of this, feeling another man's cock get hard worked on his own. He went to reach down, but Skwisgaar's free hand reached out and stopped him. Another hand came from behind and gave him one, two rough pulls. It moved away and with widening eyes, he remembered this was not a typical Wednesday night. Nathan's left hand slid from his hip to his ass, holding him apart. Toki tilted his head back and absently began to lick spirals along Skwisgaar. He waited.
Nathan raised his right hand and looked at it for a moment before, wincing, he sucked on two fingers. What the hell was Skwisgaar doing, running out of lube? He hated using spit. Fuck it, it was a favor. If they weren't prepared, to hell with it; wasn't his fault. Judging by the state of Toki's back, a little pain probably got the kid off. He pushed the two wet fingers in to his knuckles. Toki pushed back, digging his nails into Skwisgaar's thighs.
Skwisgaar reached forward and guided Toki's lips back in place. Callused fingers lingered for a moment. Was that the face Toki made when he fucked him? Far higher than a lump of hash should have driven him. He looked up again - not that he wanted to watch Nathan, of course not. He hadn't really paid much attention when he and Nathan fought. He knew how it had felt, and fought the memory. Nathan narrowed his eyes in the same way he had then. Skwisgaar dropped his gaze just in time to watch Nathan press the head of his cock slowly into Toki. He thrust upward as Toki sank back into the other man. If he wanted more, Skwisgaar thought, raising his hips from the bed, he'd learn fast to take it all.
Nathan had stopped thinking. Fucking Toki was better than a lot of pussy he'd had in the past. That whole 'experienced virgin' thing, tight on each thrust, but pushing back because he knew what he was doing. Beyond that he'd stopped caring; he grabbed the slim hips in front of him and let muscles take over for his brain.
In the middle, Toki braced himself as Nathan's cock forced its way in; inside him it slid forward, slow and heavy, a throbbing leaden pulse that overruled everything. He gasped for air, but nothing came. Flesh entered his mouth, and he wrapped his mouth around it instinctively. When he caught his breath again, he looked through his lashes at Skwisgaar. The blond's eyes stared at him, icy, forbidding, while his hands scraped at the sheets, trying to find the notes hidden in them. Toki rolled forward with Nathan's thrusting and slid Skwisgaar's cock deep down his throat. There it was, the rhythm. He closed his eyes and let the movement bring him where it would.
When Toki looked again, Skwisgaar was looking beyond him, behind him. He knew Nathan was fucking through him to the other man. A moan escaped his throat as he pulled his mouth off Skwisgaar, just for a few seconds. The vocalist continued his relentless drive forward and Toki dove down again after a few beats. Lips and tongue parted, flattening against the smooth head of Skwisgaar's cock, swirling his tongue into the ridge beneath it. He sucked lightly, pulling foreskin up and back again, keeping time with the increasingly fast tempo, darting to catch the first few drops.
Nathan tightened his grip, black fingernails scoring holds in Toki's stomach. Breath became ragged, turned into his growl. Beyond him, Skwisgaar shaded pink, sweat beading along his fine clavicle. The bruise he had left was still there. That did it. Hands crushed hips to hips as he came.
Fuckin' performance of the year.
Toki collapsed forward, teeth grazing skin. Skwisgaar recoiled, grabbing at masses of brown hair. "Merrrr," he rolled. More, more. So goddamn close. The other man lowered his head again and reached around with his lips. Come coated the top of his mouth. Upside-down, he swallowed. A whisper surprised him, and Nathan's hands joined Skwisgaar's around his head. He smiled at the command, even as Nathan withdrew and thin, rough hands dug into his neck. Revitalized, Toki snaked one hand around and coaxed Swkisgaar's last orgasm into the back of his throat. He moved his head down, away, and wiped away come with the back of his hand. The man below him panted softly, eyes watching from under pale lashes. Shadow appeared over Skwisgaar as Toki lingered at his thighs.
Lingered and smiled strangely. That smile. Fuck.
He reacted too late; Nathan's hands pressed down on his shoulders before he could move. Scrabbling on the sheets, he tried to hold himself back, but Nathan shoved him into place at the edge of the bed. Toki extricated himself and knelt on the floor, watching Skwisgaar twitch in the come-soaked linens.
"You're kind of pretty when you squirm like that," Nathan said, pressing harder. "I don't think he's gonna be as rough as me."
Toki slapped his head in mock frustration. "Aw, I forgets! Skwisgaar's all out of lube."
Nathan smiled, teeth bared. "That's right. Well, never stopped him."
"Oh, I's a better person than dat." He grabbed Skwisgaar's calves and bent his knees.
He couldn't sing. His tongue was designed for other uses. Skwisgaar closed his eyes and tried to forget the heaviness above him, to ignore Nathan's cock and hands and breath, all of which were too close. Below, Toki moved lower than usual, holding him apart.
Toki felt him relax - a reflex - as he tongued that one point he'd been kept away from. Couldn't let him relax too much, he thought. That wouldn't be fair. He straightened his back. His cock throbbed, a thousand pounds between his legs. Fingers pressed along the parted legs.
Skwisgaar sensed his hesitation and smirked. "What, you don'ts know what to do n..."
It was nothing like Nathan. Toki slid into him tentatively at first, but smoothly. His strange smile was back, like a wolf not satiated, but content that his prey was in his grasp. He held Skwisgaar's legs loosely, steadying himself with each long sway. Every second he withdrew, every next he reentered, deeper. Every fraction of every movement was perfectly controlled. When Skwisgaar shuddered, tightening even more around him, Toki moaned, leaned forward and ground into him. Nathan backed away as Toki's left hand twisted in Skwisgaar's hair. The rhythm guitarist accelerated into a rare solo, challenging the Swede to meet him. He thrust fast, in deep but moving shallowly in exchange for speed. Swkisgaar's body pulled at his entire length. Overwhelmed, he came; once, twice, and he faded, slipping outward, spilling on the sheets.
Toki staggered backwards and leaned on the wall. He blinked a few times, panting. Nathan was nearly dressed, alternating pulling on clothing with sucking small puffs from the refilled hash-pipe. Skwisgaar reached a hand out towards it blindly, but other than resting his feet on the ground again, had barely moved.
"Is dat what you get to do every night?"
Skwisgaar made an tired affirmative noise and waved the lighter at Toki.
"Fuck!" He took it and sat on the bed.
Nathan pulled on his last boot and stood, the laces trailing as he walked to the door. "I'm taking a bath. I don't want to see either of you faggots trying to join in."
Toki ignored him, leaning over to refill the pipe. "You's an ass, Skwisgaar. Oh, man, I'm seriously doings that to you again."
"Fines. But no more extra people," he mumbled, becoming aware of the cold, wet sheets and shuffling up the bed. "Unless dey're very sexy ladies. Of course, to makes it perfectly clear, we're not faggots."
"Oh, hells no."
"Is just that no one can not fuck me. You and Nathans is, like, proof, you know? Everyone's got to know what it's like to be dis fast. Dey just can't help it. Dat was a nice try, by the way."
Toki rolled his eyes and pushed Skwisgaar out of the center of the bed. A few dry spots remained on this side. He claimed one, fluffed a pillow, and fell asleep to familiar colors and slight variations on the theme of greatness.
Toki ran his hand over it again. Dildo. Bright green. He pulled it out of the harness and turned it over in his hands. He wrapped his fingers around it, running them from the tip to the flared base, where it got just a bit wider. It felt short, but his hand fit around it in such a familiar way. Sighing, he stood it on the table. It curved just enough to make him feel watched. Turning it away, it looked sullen. He turned towards his wardrobe - out of sight, and it would stop accusing him, stop being a neon-green mistake - when the door opened.
Skwisgaar looked at Toki, watching the color rise to his cheeks. He leaned against the doorframe and folded his arms.
"I'm a screw-up," Toki said, grabbing the dildo.
"Yous want more? Is dot it?" He watched Toki's fingers squeeze around it.
"It's a mistake."
He laughed. "Your idea is dildos. I gives you the idea. I must have said it, oh, a hundred times, two hundred times. I should know you take it literaterly."
"Just because yous experienced doesn't mean..." Toki heaved an exaggerated sigh and pulled the wardrobe door open. The offending object was thrust among abandoned pastel shirts.
"Yous so frustrated."
"What?" Toki pulled some scarves and other rarely worn garments around it.
"Yous so frustrated. I see it." Skwisgaar yawned, stretched his arms above his head, and smiled thinly. "I should show you what dat's for, eh? If yous is not afraid."
He ducked under the other man's outstretched arm, into the hallway. "I just stop here for a minute. The meeting..."
"Oh, ja," he yawned. A few long strides and he'd caught up to the Norwegian. "We do that now. Laters tonight, you come up to my room." Fingers tangled in brown hair, slowing him down. "With dot thing, and maybes I'll shows you how to fuck yourself."
Toki wriggled out from his grip as they approached the meeting room.
--
It filled him. The vibration was pleasant, but distant. Then it was forgotten; all that still existed was in front of him. All that still existed looked amused.
"What?" he asked, saliva dripping from his lips.
"Don'ts talk with your mouth full." Skwisgaar pushed him back down. "And keeps your mouth full."
Toki brushed his hair back. He rubbed his thumbs against Skwisgaar's sides, sliding them down until he found the spot that made him flinch.
Skwisgaar let his eyelids fall, watching Toki through his pale lashes. He lifted his hips in time with the slow pattern they'd fallen into, what he thought of as their standard rhythm. The dildo changed nothing. A hand wrapped around his cock. They were both losing their patience, both striving for speed. He leaned his head back and moaned as the other man jerked him off.
Toki lifted his head again; come dripped to Skwisgaar's thigh. The blond made a noise of annoyance and nudged Toki away with his knee.
"It's not the same," Toki said, leaning his face and wiping his chin on the bed. "It's okay, I guess." Skwisgaar stood, stretching, and thumped his hand on Toki's back. Fingers tapped each vertebra, landing at the end on the green device. He turned the dial off and slid it partway out. "I mean," Toki continued, mumbling into the mattress, "it makes me kinds of goes numb."
Skwisgaar rammed the false penis back in. Toki yelped. Already spent - at least for the moment - Skwisgaar watched more clearly than usual. Brown hair spilled over the white bed. At the edge of his vision, green disappeared and reappeared. That had lost his interest some time ago; the reaction, not the tool, was his amusement. Toki clawed at the sheets; his body drifted backwards and was forced forwards under Skwisgaar's hands. Breath was easy, this, the song they came back to play again and again.
When the back moved close again, Skwisgaar raked fingernails down, tearing into skin as Toki moved away. Two left deep scratches; two thin lines of blood welled up next to those. Toki groaned and shifted one shoulder down, freeing his other arm to finish what was close. On his back, Skwisgaar ran his fingertips along the wounds, irritating them, spreading blood. The green dildo pounded again, dull, and the wounds on Toki's back screamed, and he muffled his shout in the pillows as his semen spilled out of his hand.
Skwisgaar, restraining himself, slid the object out slowly, watching the other man squirm as he twisted the final inch. Toki sighed, feeling come trickle cold around his knees.
"Don'ts even think about getting your bloods anywhere."
He ignored this, his ass and back still up, the air cooler as Skwisgaar moved away. "Dat was better. We needs to find something that does that."
Skwisgaar snorted. "Dey don't makes things that do that; dat's what real cocks is for."
"Oh," he sighed, extending his legs and lying face down along the bed. "Where we gonna find another cock?" He flinched as the blond settled into the bed next to him and ran his fingers along the blood.
"It's been long times since I did something like dot," Skwisgaar said, looking at the still metronome. "Back when wes had to shares fans, crappy little gigs, you know? Dis one time, we were both lookings at dis hot chick, right? So she gives him blowjob and I fucks from behind her while she does that."
"Oh, that sounds cool." Toki smiled and turned to face the other man. "Whos you do that with?"
Nathan, Skwisgaar thought. The singer had been half-passed out and his huge, broad hand had covered her entire head. The girl probably hadn't even seen Skwisgaar, hadn't known who'd been fucking her while she was too busy to protest. Kneeling on the floor like that, with that skirt on? An open invitation. He wondered if Nathan had noticed. Soon after, their luck had changed and there was never a shortage; no matter how out of the way, how dry and dull the town was, the alcohol and the women always flowed towards them.
He reached down beneath the bed and pulled a box onto his lap. Fingers that couldn't stop moving scraped a chunk from the brick of hash and into a thin pipe. When the box was tucked away again, he leaned against the pillows and flicked a lighter beneath the bowl.
"Some very lucky lady. You knows I don't keep track." Skwisgaar inhaled, letting the oily smoke flow down and pinch inside his lungs.
That's not what I'm asking, Toki thought as a hand started stroking his hair. You know that. He sucked on the offered pipe and closed his eyes. And when I wake up I'll forget to ask again, that's why you're doing this. And you'll forget you brought it up. At least, that's what you hope. "She was lucky. Let's do dat."
Skwisgaar chuckled; the lighter click-clicked in an echo. "Yeah? Which side you wants to be on?"
Toki shifted onto his back gently, not wanting to tear the cuts open again. He tried to imagine one of the fans with her head buried in his lap. He'd be able to watch Skwisgaar, he thought. Watch him fuck lazily, carelessly, but feel nothing unless the girl shuddered. The other way? Even worse. Just eliminate her, he thought, breathing in acrid smoke. "In the middle," he said, drowsing, passing the pipe back. "Like tonight. We's just...find someone else." He laughed. "You know who fuck good?"
Skwisgaar closed his eyes. "I know some people."
"Yeah," Toki said, letting his arm fall to one side. "Yous known lots of people."
"Ja."
One came to mind, wouldn't leave. It wouldn't be possible, he thought as his mind began to drift into the abstract, to find many people. This couldn't get out. That much had been said when the band started to get big. It doesn't matter what you do as long as no one finds out about this. No one outside. So there were five people. One was in bed right now; one of them made him shudder to consider it. Pickles tended to get bored when sex became difficult. And while he trusted their manager, he wasn't exactly someone to be bedded. He was the stern warning, the look when he was backstage and his eyes were drifting. Suddenly the man floated into his head, grotesque, lizard-like, unblinking and with husks made of contract papers. He stared at the sheaf of paternity waivers across the room and saw them ripple, overturn, heard a voice say, "Ah, so you won't be needing these anymore? Is that it?" No, he protested. No, let the women come to him. A voice in the back cried out in triumph - he was not thinking of the one last man, the one that was the only real possibility and the only real risk - and as soon as the voice made itself heard, the vision collapsed in on itself and turned into a memory of that night when he and Nathan had shared that fan. Memories that were not memories warped the woman smaller, until he saw only Nathan, the roar of his orgasm, and realized there was no escape from what would happen.
"Ja," he repeated. "I think what, we do this, you gets it out of your system."
Toki smiled, his eyes closed. Green and black and red lines serpentined behind his eyelids, twisting and disappearing into each other. It never took very long for the drugs to work like this and he relaxed into the visions.
--
"I needs a favor."
"No."
"It's not for me. It's favor for Toki. He says he needs 'something.'" Skwisgaar made air quotes around the last word and then crossed his arms again and leaned against the edge of the couch. "Something extra, you knows? More than one, he thinks he can handle. Like that chick that time."
Nathan grinned. The air grew still while he waited. He stood up and walked close to the Swede, leaning close. "You not good enough for him anymore? Is that why he bought that, uh, codpiece?"
"Fuck you!" He raised himself the few inches he had on the singer and turned to leave. "This idea is worse than dildos."
He let him get halfway down the hallway.
"I'll do it, you ass," Nathan roared. Skwisgaar stopped and turned to look - glare - over his shoulder. "On my terms."
"What are dem?"
He chuckled. "I'm not fucking telling you. You'll try to change 'em. Just yes or no."
Skwisgaar's hands folded and moved, looking for a guitar to keep them busy. With nothing, it was futile. He thought of the moment Nathan had flipped him, that moment of indecision when he had fucked up and lost. He'd crawled away to find Toki, a pipe, some pills, anything. What he'd ended up with was a weak substitute for anything. The fan wait-list had shrunk as he tore through them for the last five days. Not at night, though. Nights had been for the temporary oblivion, a speedball of Toki and opiates.
"You worried you can't handle it, huh?"
"Yous is not fuckings me again," he seethed. "Just him."
"You remember that time with that chick," Nathan said, smirking and folding his arms. "I'm surprised. Of all the thousands."
Skwisgaar shrugged. All his remembering had gotten done last night, and he'd been so pleased when the rest of the hash had settled in a soft fog around his brain and obliterated the clear thoughts.
"I ain't watching you cry like a fucking girl again, so no, I won't fuck you. Other than that, I ain't promising anything."
"Fine," Swkisgaar said, glaring. His hands ached. "Just...tells me, whenever." He started to walk down the hallway again. Something fluttered and hit him awkwardly in the back.
"Go write something to go with those words," Nathan said.
He picked up the pad and flipped through it. Some of the pages were stuck together. It was surprisingly colorful, given that it was only written on with a black marker. "Dere's...like, two-wenty pages here."
"There's stuff near the back that's all marked up. More. Murderface and Toki and I did it this morning."
Nathan stomped back to the room. The door clanged. Skwisgaar stood in the hallway, flipping the pages back and forth. Near the end of the notepad were some full verses with notes scrawled on top and around them. All in fucking marker, he thought. Entirely impossible to read. Not that it mattered; music didn't live on paper.
--
"Ma'am," Nathan said, moving aside to let her by. She giggled and brushed grey hair back towards the bun that once held it tightly.
"How are you such an asshole," he said, looking down the hallway - the woman made a shuffling attempt at a skip - "but you'll do that?"
Skwisgaar picked up his guitar and shrugged. "I likes variety."
"I want to get everyone working on 'Lake of Organs' after dinner. Then you get your favor."
"Is not for me," he said, reaching forward and starting the metronome. His lip curled in a sneer; reflex, not really meant. The song took over, all other humans forgotten.
"You keep saying that," Nathan said, and slammed the door closed. Skwisgaar's mind filtered out the sound. The door opened again. Concentration broken, he meant his glare.
"Don't fuckin' tell Toki. Gonna be a surprise."
He held his stare, silently and blindly playing.
The door clanged shut again. "Fucking favor," Nathan growled. His mind turned the words over and he mumbled a few new ideas into the recorder by the time he reached the elevator.
--
Skwisgaar edged closer to Toki throughout the song. He was behind him when Nathan stopped them and went to listen and adjust the levels. His knee slid along the inside of Toki's leg. Toki leaned backwards, touching his shoulder to Skwisgaar's. He knew. Skwisgaar backed away and pretended to adjust the tuning on the guitar.
"How was your 'experienced' lady today?" he asked, pulling his shirt off. Skwisgaar tried to ignore the conversation the other man tried to make sometimes. Never at convenient times. "You know, it's like yous is a charity for horny old ladies." He unfastened the belt on the recumbent Swede's waist, and looked up suddenly. "You ever kills one?"
Skwisgaar tilted his hips and waited for Toki to continue at his waist. "You means, like, they die from having sex with me?"
"Yeah."
"Wells, you know, sometimes that happen. Only a few times. Like...two. Maybe three."
"Dat's brutal." Toki paused and traced the outline of Skwisgaar's cock through his tight trousers. "But sounds to me dat's a good way to die." He lowered his face and let his lips graze the leather. Eyes closed, he breathed the air around him as he slowly worked the zipper. Sweat, leather, hash and whiskey. Whiskey? Strange. He looked up at the table by the bed but saw only an oozing ashtray and a mostly-full bottle of vodka. His eyes flicked to the center; Skwisgaar placed the pipe in the ashtray and, eyes looking somewhere in the distance, wriggled out of his trousers. Toki knelt between his legs and stretched, waiting for him.
Something grabbed his arms as they were above and behind his head. Another hand, still holding a bottle in two fingers, clamped over his mouth, and the scent of whiskey returned in a whisper by his ear.
"Surprise."
Nathan shoved Toki towards Skwisgaar. "Get him undressed," he growled, sitting on the side of the bed. He took another swig from the bottle and placed it next to the bed. Boots clunked against the door as he tossed them aside. The bed shifted as Nathan stood again and tossed his clothing into a pile against the door.
Leaning awkwardly as Skwisgaar tugged his pants down past his knees, Toki turned his head to watch Nathan. Nathan wandered over to the table beside the bed and picked up the hash pipe and a lighter. How long had he been in the room? "Why is you here?" he asked, tumbling backwards as Skwisgaar jerked his foot free.
"He hears you need more cock," Skwisgaar answered, grinning. He grabbed Toki's wrists and jerked him onto the bed. "Yous is a greedy bastard that we have to watch."
Nathan coughed and exchanged the pipe for a bottle of lube. He shook it, then turned it upside-down. Crushing it in his fist, he squeezed a single drop from it. Skwisgaar dodged the empty bottle and shrugged.
Nathan grabbed Toki's waist between his hands, fingers almost meeting in front, and pulled him, kneeling, to the edge. His thumbs followed the thin lines on Toki's back, faint marks five, three, two nights old. "I see you've been taken care of," he said, running a dull nail along them. Toki arched his back in agreement. "Start working on him."
Toki leaned forward, hands creeping up Skwisgaar's thighs like before. Now nothing stood between his lips and the fine hair on Skwisgaar's stomach; he flicked a tongue across his stomach and breathed along the line of moisture. On the bed, Skwisgaar reached for a pillow and propped himself up. One hand rested behind his head; the second moved Toki's hair first to one side, then spread it around. Silk sheets never felt as decadent as having long hair skim along bare skin.
Between this, Toki's lips finally touched down, lightly. He turned his head, letting each side of his moustache graze the length. Blood swelled beneath the thin skin, and he looked up, briefly, blue eyes meeting blue eyes, before running his tongue down. It firmed as his mouth settled around the head. Even after years of this, feeling another man's cock get hard worked on his own. He went to reach down, but Skwisgaar's free hand reached out and stopped him. Another hand came from behind and gave him one, two rough pulls. It moved away and with widening eyes, he remembered this was not a typical Wednesday night. Nathan's left hand slid from his hip to his ass, holding him apart. Toki tilted his head back and absently began to lick spirals along Skwisgaar. He waited.
Nathan raised his right hand and looked at it for a moment before, wincing, he sucked on two fingers. What the hell was Skwisgaar doing, running out of lube? He hated using spit. Fuck it, it was a favor. If they weren't prepared, to hell with it; wasn't his fault. Judging by the state of Toki's back, a little pain probably got the kid off. He pushed the two wet fingers in to his knuckles. Toki pushed back, digging his nails into Skwisgaar's thighs.
Skwisgaar reached forward and guided Toki's lips back in place. Callused fingers lingered for a moment. Was that the face Toki made when he fucked him? Far higher than a lump of hash should have driven him. He looked up again - not that he wanted to watch Nathan, of course not. He hadn't really paid much attention when he and Nathan fought. He knew how it had felt, and fought the memory. Nathan narrowed his eyes in the same way he had then. Skwisgaar dropped his gaze just in time to watch Nathan press the head of his cock slowly into Toki. He thrust upward as Toki sank back into the other man. If he wanted more, Skwisgaar thought, raising his hips from the bed, he'd learn fast to take it all.
Nathan had stopped thinking. Fucking Toki was better than a lot of pussy he'd had in the past. That whole 'experienced virgin' thing, tight on each thrust, but pushing back because he knew what he was doing. Beyond that he'd stopped caring; he grabbed the slim hips in front of him and let muscles take over for his brain.
In the middle, Toki braced himself as Nathan's cock forced its way in; inside him it slid forward, slow and heavy, a throbbing leaden pulse that overruled everything. He gasped for air, but nothing came. Flesh entered his mouth, and he wrapped his mouth around it instinctively. When he caught his breath again, he looked through his lashes at Skwisgaar. The blond's eyes stared at him, icy, forbidding, while his hands scraped at the sheets, trying to find the notes hidden in them. Toki rolled forward with Nathan's thrusting and slid Skwisgaar's cock deep down his throat. There it was, the rhythm. He closed his eyes and let the movement bring him where it would.
When Toki looked again, Skwisgaar was looking beyond him, behind him. He knew Nathan was fucking through him to the other man. A moan escaped his throat as he pulled his mouth off Skwisgaar, just for a few seconds. The vocalist continued his relentless drive forward and Toki dove down again after a few beats. Lips and tongue parted, flattening against the smooth head of Skwisgaar's cock, swirling his tongue into the ridge beneath it. He sucked lightly, pulling foreskin up and back again, keeping time with the increasingly fast tempo, darting to catch the first few drops.
Nathan tightened his grip, black fingernails scoring holds in Toki's stomach. Breath became ragged, turned into his growl. Beyond him, Skwisgaar shaded pink, sweat beading along his fine clavicle. The bruise he had left was still there. That did it. Hands crushed hips to hips as he came.
Fuckin' performance of the year.
Toki collapsed forward, teeth grazing skin. Skwisgaar recoiled, grabbing at masses of brown hair. "Merrrr," he rolled. More, more. So goddamn close. The other man lowered his head again and reached around with his lips. Come coated the top of his mouth. Upside-down, he swallowed. A whisper surprised him, and Nathan's hands joined Skwisgaar's around his head. He smiled at the command, even as Nathan withdrew and thin, rough hands dug into his neck. Revitalized, Toki snaked one hand around and coaxed Swkisgaar's last orgasm into the back of his throat. He moved his head down, away, and wiped away come with the back of his hand. The man below him panted softly, eyes watching from under pale lashes. Shadow appeared over Skwisgaar as Toki lingered at his thighs.
Lingered and smiled strangely. That smile. Fuck.
He reacted too late; Nathan's hands pressed down on his shoulders before he could move. Scrabbling on the sheets, he tried to hold himself back, but Nathan shoved him into place at the edge of the bed. Toki extricated himself and knelt on the floor, watching Skwisgaar twitch in the come-soaked linens.
"You're kind of pretty when you squirm like that," Nathan said, pressing harder. "I don't think he's gonna be as rough as me."
Toki slapped his head in mock frustration. "Aw, I forgets! Skwisgaar's all out of lube."
Nathan smiled, teeth bared. "That's right. Well, never stopped him."
"Oh, I's a better person than dat." He grabbed Skwisgaar's calves and bent his knees.
He couldn't sing. His tongue was designed for other uses. Skwisgaar closed his eyes and tried to forget the heaviness above him, to ignore Nathan's cock and hands and breath, all of which were too close. Below, Toki moved lower than usual, holding him apart.
Toki felt him relax - a reflex - as he tongued that one point he'd been kept away from. Couldn't let him relax too much, he thought. That wouldn't be fair. He straightened his back. His cock throbbed, a thousand pounds between his legs. Fingers pressed along the parted legs.
Skwisgaar sensed his hesitation and smirked. "What, you don'ts know what to do n..."
It was nothing like Nathan. Toki slid into him tentatively at first, but smoothly. His strange smile was back, like a wolf not satiated, but content that his prey was in his grasp. He held Skwisgaar's legs loosely, steadying himself with each long sway. Every second he withdrew, every next he reentered, deeper. Every fraction of every movement was perfectly controlled. When Skwisgaar shuddered, tightening even more around him, Toki moaned, leaned forward and ground into him. Nathan backed away as Toki's left hand twisted in Skwisgaar's hair. The rhythm guitarist accelerated into a rare solo, challenging the Swede to meet him. He thrust fast, in deep but moving shallowly in exchange for speed. Swkisgaar's body pulled at his entire length. Overwhelmed, he came; once, twice, and he faded, slipping outward, spilling on the sheets.
Toki staggered backwards and leaned on the wall. He blinked a few times, panting. Nathan was nearly dressed, alternating pulling on clothing with sucking small puffs from the refilled hash-pipe. Skwisgaar reached a hand out towards it blindly, but other than resting his feet on the ground again, had barely moved.
"Is dat what you get to do every night?"
Skwisgaar made an tired affirmative noise and waved the lighter at Toki.
"Fuck!" He took it and sat on the bed.
Nathan pulled on his last boot and stood, the laces trailing as he walked to the door. "I'm taking a bath. I don't want to see either of you faggots trying to join in."
Toki ignored him, leaning over to refill the pipe. "You's an ass, Skwisgaar. Oh, man, I'm seriously doings that to you again."
"Fines. But no more extra people," he mumbled, becoming aware of the cold, wet sheets and shuffling up the bed. "Unless dey're very sexy ladies. Of course, to makes it perfectly clear, we're not faggots."
"Oh, hells no."
"Is just that no one can not fuck me. You and Nathans is, like, proof, you know? Everyone's got to know what it's like to be dis fast. Dey just can't help it. Dat was a nice try, by the way."
Toki rolled his eyes and pushed Skwisgaar out of the center of the bed. A few dry spots remained on this side. He claimed one, fluffed a pillow, and fell asleep to familiar colors and slight variations on the theme of greatness.