Femininity & Masculinity

[impysh]

After posting a pondering on a possible way to model gender and sex (and gender roles, expression, etc), Mostlyfoo tried to expand more on what 'masculine' and 'feminine' mean anyway.  She ended with a suggestion that people contribute their own tales of how they relate to masculinity and femininity.  I tried to comment...and got a bit wordy.  So

Comments

[mostlyfoo]

Yay! Thanks for responding, and eh, its okay to have mostly looked at femininity and what you feel about it. I can kind of agree in that I think I've got more of a handle on what I think masculinity is (kind of) or how it feels to me, and while I sometimes like it, mostly I find its not so much of a good fit somehow, so now I'm trying to work out what femininity means and feels like to have a play around with that, partly because I enjoy that feeling and partly because as you've mentioned it'll help provide a few more cues to people so they can read me clearer and hence make my life go smoother.

It's an odd combination, and I worry people will assume that any feminine traits I display will in fact be "an act" to try and help people along to change their pronouns, but fuck that, I think its more I'm slowly coming into feeling more comfortable with myself, and also with behaviours coded feminine such as physical contact and emotional displays -- it doesn't hurt that starting HRT has loosened the powerful strong grip that disassociation and denial had on my behaviours.

Anyway, this comment has gotten kind of meta :)

[impysh]

Really late reply...I was just re-reading your coment and the idea that people may think that feminine traits they see in you could be an "act".
I think we might be caught in a double-trap of essentialising here - gendered traits which people notice seem to be thought of as either acts that you put on to emphasise or disguise your identity, or hints as to your 'true' gender.