Death Takes a Holiday
Just a list of things I've been thinking about since the new episode last night that I need to get out of my head before family obligations take me away from internet access for the weekend. You are now officially warned for spoilers:
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Ah, but that's exactly my point. Sam is a much more withdrawn and complex creature to figure out than he was back at Season 1 when was sharing and caring.
Someone made the point that the Sam we're seeing now (darker, somewhat more selfish, less inclined to want to discuss feelings or care about other people's opinions) is less a new Sam as it is a reversion to the pre-series!Sam, who we saw flashes of in season 1 but who was mostly subsumed in a deserve to avenge Jessica. This being the Sam who left Dean and John behind to pursue 'normal', the Sam who didn't bother to call or check in for at least two years (given the interactions between Sam and Dean in the pilot, the whole "I haven't asked you for anything for two years" and all that, it really implies to me that this was Sam's choice, not Dean's). Point being that Sam has always had this hint of aloofness running through him and an ability to leave his family that we haven't seen from John or Dean.
Which isn't to say that Sam doesn't love his family, he does, heartbreakingly, and many of his actions are flavored out of consideration for them, but Sam is the one we consistently see moving to stand alone, even if it means leaving others potentially vulnerable. He left Dean in Scarecrow (though he did immediately come back when he realized Dean was in trouble), he left again in Hunted (if I'm remembering my episodes right), both times entirely of his own free will. And he's been leaving in the fourth season repeatedly as well, sneaking out in the night to do his thing with Ruby, not even bothering to tell Dean that he's on his own.
Then the thing with the Siren - when he talked about Dean holding him back (and more on your comments on this in a bit because I really liked them), it highlighted that Sam doesn't want Dean around. And honestly, I could put a lot more faith in Sam's actions towards protecting Dean if I got a hint that he was concerned about Dean's general well being as a whole. But from the start of season four, we really haven't had that sort of connection; we had The Hug, but Sam, having miraculously had his brother returned to him, lied by omission to Dean in the very same scene, then outright lied later on and, rather than spending any stretch of time making sure Dean was actually okay (Dean never being one to actually admit to having any problems), Sam left him alone, while Dean was asleep, no less. And that was just in 4x01; his actions haven't been any more seemingly concerned throughout the entire season; even when he asks Dean about Hell, it's almost like something he's throwing in Dean's face to get him to stop asking about Sam's use of his powers.
All of this suggests that Dean's safety isn't tantamount to Sam. It's right up there, but it's not his main, driving goal. Sam can say that it is, and I think it once was, but it feels more like a white lie he's telling himself to feel better about what he's really doing, which is the same thing that Pamela told him off for.
I think that Sam's desire to protect Dean is showing itself in the same way that Dean's desire to protect Sam did. Dean protected Sam by taking the risks and taking charge. Sam is trying to do the same now, and it's resulting in a power struggle.
This is a concept that I really like, but its not one that I can fully get behind. Sam isn't treating Dean like someone who needs protection, he's treating him like a sidekick. I blame Sam's long stint alone for this; for the first time, Sam called all the shots in regards to hunting, and furthermore, he had Ruby falling his orders like a good little soldier. I think he got used to being fully in command and very, very much unused to people questioning his decisions.
(And apparently because I'm far, far too wordy for my own good, this has to be broken into two parts. Seriously, I wouldn't blame you at all if you TLDR me as a result.)
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