Death Takes a Holiday

[impulsiveanswer]

Just a list of things I've been thinking about since the new episode last night that I need to get out of my head before family obligations take me away from internet access for the weekend.  You are now officially warned for spoilers:

Comments

[mimblexwimble]

I don't know if Dean is being cruel, exactly, bringing it up again and again, but he's probably being a little insensitive. Sam obviously needs to get past this - all Dean's doing by raising the topic is reminding him of the distance. And he's only hurting himself too.

It's funny - after 4.14, every fanfiction written had Dean using the, "Are you sure I won't be holding you back," line and all I could think was, Dean probably wouldn't say that. And he did.

On point 6, I wholeheartedly agree. Someone above said that Dean wants Sam to stop lying but can't get through to him... the way to get Sam to listen is to say something he'll listen to. Dean opened up to Tessa; all I could think during that talk was what Sam would have done if he'd heard that - or if Dean had been saying that to him. Why is it easier for Dean to open up to Tessa, but so hard for him to share with Sam? That Dean wishes he'd died then... it sounds like something Sam really needs to hear. Does he even realize what he's doing to Dean, at this point?

Sam's getting so good at using his powers, I have to wonder what the repercussions will be. Like you said, saving Pam with them was instinctive. If, like Ruby says, it does really "feel good", what are the chances that he'll get hooked and won't be able to stop even if he wants to?

[impulsiveanswer]

Sam obviously needs to get past this - all Dean's doing by raising the topic is reminding him of the distance.

Does he even realize what he's doing to Dean, at this point?
I don't think Sam's the only one who needs to get past this, and Sam isn't the only one who doesn't realize how his behavior is effecting the other person in his life - Dean's behavior is having similar effects on Sam. Sam may be guilty of lying, but Dean's guilty of judging Sam for not remaining his idealistic little brother and for coping with his death in a way Dean disapproves of. That usually it's only Sam that gets called on his behavior is why I'm get so frustrated with the way the show's been handling Dean's character this season.
Part of the reason, I believe, Sam's getting hooked is because of how little control he feels over his life. He couldn't save Dean, he can't help Dean deal with the aftermath of Hell, the angels don't like him, Ruby's pressuring him, an apocalypse is coming, and it sometimes feels like Dean's waiting for him to slip up. It reminds me of someone with an eating disorder - he can't control anything else in his life but he can control this, even if it's something that's hurting him.