(no subject)
"Sleep with me? I can't be alone right now." I can't believe that it has come to this. I keep trying to make the pain stop. Reality is a hard pill to swallow.
I had not slept in days. Well, I had. I am sure. I was functioning. I went to work. I joked and I laughed when it was appropriate. I was still the fun one.
"You just have to lie next to me and keep me safe." My baggage was an eyesore.
************
Ours was the classic "boy meets girl". Cruising down the city street, yelling at nearby cars, I saw you. We gave you flowers. You weren't the only random passerby to receive our "just because" flowers. What a sight! My friends and your friends yelling back and forth with tousled hair floating out the window. Laughing and flirting in the age of wonder.
I never had anyone make me laugh that hard. An impromptu parking lot party formed as introductions were given. I had my eyes on you. You had your eyes on me.
We saw each other every night for months, sometimes with our friends and sometimes alone. We flirted hard and hinted at something more. You had never been with someone intimately; I could show you more.
You told me that your mother didn't approve. She had not even met me. Who was she to judge? So maybe I had more life experience. I still had a heart and feelings.
The flirting continued. You were my drug. Words of love were declared into the night.
You knew I was broken, but I thought I was repairable and worth the risk.
You wouldn't even kiss me. You didn't want to kiss anyone. Saving yourself. Maybe you should be saving me.
I was soiled.
You still made me laugh, but I was desperate. I had never been the pursuer before.
You backed away. I clawed to hang on.
Another party with friends and you lock lips with someone else.
I fume and curse and walk away. You pursue me.
"You hypocrite! You ass!"
Why do you keep using the "L" word? Do you even know what that is?
We still spend far too much time together. There is less laughter or maybe it is just forced.
********
"You just have to lie next to me and keep me safe."
You stay. Disaster is averted. I don't hurt myself that night. I am broken and I use my crutch.
I didn't know the end would come after that. I didn't prepare my goodbye.
I should have said that I was sorry. Your mother had spoke no lies.
I had not slept in days. Well, I had. I am sure. I was functioning. I went to work. I joked and I laughed when it was appropriate. I was still the fun one.
"You just have to lie next to me and keep me safe." My baggage was an eyesore.
************
Ours was the classic "boy meets girl". Cruising down the city street, yelling at nearby cars, I saw you. We gave you flowers. You weren't the only random passerby to receive our "just because" flowers. What a sight! My friends and your friends yelling back and forth with tousled hair floating out the window. Laughing and flirting in the age of wonder.
I never had anyone make me laugh that hard. An impromptu parking lot party formed as introductions were given. I had my eyes on you. You had your eyes on me.
We saw each other every night for months, sometimes with our friends and sometimes alone. We flirted hard and hinted at something more. You had never been with someone intimately; I could show you more.
You told me that your mother didn't approve. She had not even met me. Who was she to judge? So maybe I had more life experience. I still had a heart and feelings.
The flirting continued. You were my drug. Words of love were declared into the night.
You knew I was broken, but I thought I was repairable and worth the risk.
You wouldn't even kiss me. You didn't want to kiss anyone. Saving yourself. Maybe you should be saving me.
I was soiled.
You still made me laugh, but I was desperate. I had never been the pursuer before.
You backed away. I clawed to hang on.
Another party with friends and you lock lips with someone else.
I fume and curse and walk away. You pursue me.
"You hypocrite! You ass!"
Why do you keep using the "L" word? Do you even know what that is?
We still spend far too much time together. There is less laughter or maybe it is just forced.
********
"You just have to lie next to me and keep me safe."
You stay. Disaster is averted. I don't hurt myself that night. I am broken and I use my crutch.
I didn't know the end would come after that. I didn't prepare my goodbye.
I should have said that I was sorry. Your mother had spoke no lies.