Thoughts all boggled up...
Okay... So yesterday was the 4th of July. Went as normal to watch the parade in Fairfield. Kinda nice watching it for once. Usually I am in Hawai'i for the 4th and if I'm not there then I am walking in the Parade... So it was nice to sit and watch! I enjoyed seeing the Air Force marching in it. Call me crazy but I liked that aprt. Couldn't help but think that soon that will be me...
Anyways... after that i came home and layed down for a little bit because my abck was hurting... And then I went to go and get John... HuaHhHh. I actually used his first name! A bigillion points for me. YaYo. We came and got my sister and Kelso and went to get Ashlei... then to get Alana. And we fit everyone in my car! Crazy fun that was! Then we went to the Marina and walked around. I enjoyed myself imensley! The onyl part that sucked was watching the fireworks. Alana went with her boyfriend for that part... It's sad watching the fireworks with no one... especially when you look around and realize that "hey I'm not at Home..." I'd much rather be in Hawai'i for the 4th of July on the beach... with family.... knowing that I am where I belong.
Point aside. It was fun none the less. And I enjoyed being there with my Sissy (the one person whom I love in this world more then anything...), Ashlei (my other lil Sissy! Who is someone who knows me just about as much as aLi Lei), Alana (my "Twin", who I miss hanging out with) Kelso (just like another Sister...)and John (who is one of my newest...but closet friends)I got to spend the 4th of July with people whom I care about....
So now here I am sitting at home contemplating many things... Firstly where my life is headed at this point and time... I have decided to join the Air Force. and personally I couldn't be happier with that choice. The thing is I don't know if my family is Happy with that choice... I know my mom is NOT... and as much as I would like to say it doesn't bother me if anyone supports me, it does! This is my family... And I want to know that they support me! I need their support!
Next... I am confused on what I want. I like to think that I am so happy being single... but in honesty I don't know if I am! I mean I like being able to be single and party... but then again I miss not having a boyfriend. And not to mention I am confused at who I like. Why? Well there was this guy that I didn't think I liked... but after hanging out with him more and more... and getting to know the real him I think I am starting to like him. But he is such an awesome friend I don't want to mess it up!!! But he really is a genuine guy! And he's someone that makes it apparent that he really cares for me, even if just as a friend. So, am I supposed to make things known? or keep it closed since I still don't know exactly what I want. And sice I don't know what I want it's certainly not fair to be with someone if you are confused on yourself... right? And then there is the fact that i might like someone else. Someone that I don't think anyone else is aware of... Someone that pretty much no one else even knows.... I am just confused! But the first guy is so sweet. I mean I have never watched the sunset with anyone in Cali before. And it was so nice! And he just makes it known that he genuinely cares about me... And I can open up to him... I open up to him more then I do Desmond... and he cares! He listens!
Nothing really new going on over here... Well aside fromt he fatc that my back is still killing me... And I still ahve yet to go get it checked out. I'm way to scared to do that! I hate going tot he doctors alone... I know I need to... But I can't get the courage to! But the afct that not even 1200 Mg of Ibuprofen does anything isn't good. 1200 Mg and it still hurts like a muther! And I like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain... I know I do.... but this is defianetly too much pain! I dunno.... Last time I went to the doctors about a month ago they said it was nothing... I'm not so sure of that! It's hurting way too much to be nothing don't ya think?
I guess this is really long now. And i ahve opther things to get done! Comments are needed... Well advice on anything listed in here at least!!! Thankx for reading...
Anyways... after that i came home and layed down for a little bit because my abck was hurting... And then I went to go and get John... HuaHhHh. I actually used his first name! A bigillion points for me. YaYo. We came and got my sister and Kelso and went to get Ashlei... then to get Alana. And we fit everyone in my car! Crazy fun that was! Then we went to the Marina and walked around. I enjoyed myself imensley! The onyl part that sucked was watching the fireworks. Alana went with her boyfriend for that part... It's sad watching the fireworks with no one... especially when you look around and realize that "hey I'm not at Home..." I'd much rather be in Hawai'i for the 4th of July on the beach... with family.... knowing that I am where I belong.
Point aside. It was fun none the less. And I enjoyed being there with my Sissy (the one person whom I love in this world more then anything...), Ashlei (my other lil Sissy! Who is someone who knows me just about as much as aLi Lei), Alana (my "Twin", who I miss hanging out with) Kelso (just like another Sister...)and John (who is one of my newest...but closet friends)I got to spend the 4th of July with people whom I care about....
So now here I am sitting at home contemplating many things... Firstly where my life is headed at this point and time... I have decided to join the Air Force. and personally I couldn't be happier with that choice. The thing is I don't know if my family is Happy with that choice... I know my mom is NOT... and as much as I would like to say it doesn't bother me if anyone supports me, it does! This is my family... And I want to know that they support me! I need their support!
Next... I am confused on what I want. I like to think that I am so happy being single... but in honesty I don't know if I am! I mean I like being able to be single and party... but then again I miss not having a boyfriend. And not to mention I am confused at who I like. Why? Well there was this guy that I didn't think I liked... but after hanging out with him more and more... and getting to know the real him I think I am starting to like him. But he is such an awesome friend I don't want to mess it up!!! But he really is a genuine guy! And he's someone that makes it apparent that he really cares for me, even if just as a friend. So, am I supposed to make things known? or keep it closed since I still don't know exactly what I want. And sice I don't know what I want it's certainly not fair to be with someone if you are confused on yourself... right? And then there is the fact that i might like someone else. Someone that I don't think anyone else is aware of... Someone that pretty much no one else even knows.... I am just confused! But the first guy is so sweet. I mean I have never watched the sunset with anyone in Cali before. And it was so nice! And he just makes it known that he genuinely cares about me... And I can open up to him... I open up to him more then I do Desmond... and he cares! He listens!
Nothing really new going on over here... Well aside fromt he fatc that my back is still killing me... And I still ahve yet to go get it checked out. I'm way to scared to do that! I hate going tot he doctors alone... I know I need to... But I can't get the courage to! But the afct that not even 1200 Mg of Ibuprofen does anything isn't good. 1200 Mg and it still hurts like a muther! And I like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain... I know I do.... but this is defianetly too much pain! I dunno.... Last time I went to the doctors about a month ago they said it was nothing... I'm not so sure of that! It's hurting way too much to be nothing don't ya think?
I guess this is really long now. And i ahve opther things to get done! Comments are needed... Well advice on anything listed in here at least!!! Thankx for reading...