I hate it when bitches gotta front.

Dec 27, 2005 01:09

This fellah started pestering my fiancee on her IM, and let me tell you, a dude barging into your face with his proud "niceshroomtip" blaring away, makes you think perhaps he doesn't have the most noble of intentions. He proceeded to offer her $100 for sex, so she referred him to my screenname as her "other screenname" that she was going to switch over to.

Goddamn, this is so fucking tasty. Bite it hard, and swallow. I swear it'll give you a happy ending.

A snippet:

(00:00:47) maskofconcern: I didn't even do anything he wasn't asking for. They just don't respect me enough to take my side. That, and it's not very honest to just pull out the cops whenever an argument doesn't go your way.
(00:01:00) maskofconcern: It's Mandy.
(00:01:09) niceshroomtip04: Im Darren
(00:01:16) maskofconcern: Nice to meet you Darren.
(00:01:17) niceshroomtip04: nice to meet u sweetie
(00:01:29) niceshroomtip04: your 19?


The raw deal:
(23:52:54) niceshroomtip04: hi
(23:53:25) maskofconcern: I sure could use some money, I'm pretty poor.
(23:53:45) niceshroomtip04: u would really make you pay your for sex?
(23:53:56) maskofconcern: Pay for sex?
(23:54:00) niceshroomtip04: dont you find me attractive?
(23:54:02) maskofconcern: Isn't that illegal?
(23:54:04) maskofconcern: Huh?
(23:54:09) maskofconcern: No, you see, I'm so poor.
(23:54:49) maskofconcern: It's just that I can only get on the net at my uncle's house, because I don't even have a computer, and I can't afford electricity.
(23:54:59) maskofconcern: Where I live, running water has become a rare treat.
(23:55:05) maskofconcern: You think I'm pretty?
(23:55:13) niceshroomtip04: yea i do
(23:55:25) niceshroomtip04: but i dont like to give money like that out
(23:55:42) maskofconcern: That's real nice... since I lost those two teeth, pretty much nobody says that anymore.
(23:55:43) niceshroomtip04: i want to be more then just having sex with u
(23:55:49) maskofconcern: Like what more?
(23:56:14) niceshroomtip04: i dont know yet but,we can see how it goes
(23:56:31) maskofconcern: I just feel so bad lately. Ever since I got fired from my job, I've been pretty hard up.
(23:56:48) maskofconcern: Do you know anyboy who would hire me?
(23:57:04) maskofconcern: I've been sober for a long time now, this time I've really kicked it.
(23:57:11) niceshroomtip04: i can hel you find a job if you like
(23:57:20) maskofconcern: It's been a week, and I don't hardly even think about the shards anymore.
(23:57:21) niceshroomtip04: what were u doing, which drug
(23:57:31) niceshroomtip04: oh im sorry baby
(23:57:52) maskofconcern: So maybe you can help, though, you seem nice. It even says so in your screen name!
(23:58:11) maskofconcern: But you don't have $100
(23:58:12) maskofconcern: ?
(23:58:23) maskofconcern: I sure could use some money.
(23:58:33) niceshroomtip04: well i dont want to give you money.. but i would like to help in other ways
(23:58:46) maskofconcern: The pills are expensive, and I haven't had them for a month. It's getting really uncomfortable.
(23:58:54) niceshroomtip04: do you live alone?
(23:58:56) maskofconcern: Like what ways?
(23:58:58) maskofconcern: Yeah.
(23:59:08) maskofconcern: I'm so alone.
(23:59:24) niceshroomtip04: why all alone, how come no roommates
(00:00:02) maskofconcern: Nobody like me anymore, all my friends gave up on me when I couldn't quit the shards. That and the ex is a real asshole.
(00:00:26) niceshroomtip04: what is your name?
(00:00:47) maskofconcern: I didn't even do anything he wasn't asking for. They just don't respect me enough to take my side. That, and it's not very honest to just pull out the cops whenever an argument doesn't go your way.
(00:01:00) maskofconcern: It's Mandy.
(00:01:09) niceshroomtip04: Im Darren
(00:01:16) maskofconcern: Nice to meet you Darren.
(00:01:17) niceshroomtip04: nice to meet u sweetie
(00:01:29) niceshroomtip04: your 19?
(00:01:38) maskofconcern: Yeah, but I feel a lot older.
(00:01:53) niceshroomtip04: im sorry for what ur going through
(00:01:59) niceshroomtip04: my bro was an addict
(00:02:02) maskofconcern: Do you argue with people a lot?
(00:02:11) maskofconcern: I just don't want things to go like last time.
(00:02:17) niceshroomtip04: hes better now
(00:02:23) niceshroomtip04: no i dont Mandey
(00:02:33) niceshroomtip04: im a good guy
(00:02:39) maskofconcern: Sometimes it seems like there's not much that goes better.
(00:02:54) maskofconcern: No e.
(00:03:05) maskofconcern: Yeah, you seem nice.
(00:03:08) maskofconcern: Real nice.
(00:03:11) maskofconcern: You have a car?
(00:03:18) maskofconcern: Do you ever drive out to Oakland?
(00:03:43) niceshroomtip04: right now no Mandy
(00:03:56) maskofconcern: Oh, ok.
(00:04:05) niceshroomtip04: i just graduated from college and im back at home
(00:04:10) maskofconcern: Where is home?
(00:04:14) niceshroomtip04: need to buy a car
(00:04:17) niceshroomtip04: concord
(00:04:36) niceshroomtip04: and where are u in pleasant hill exactly
(00:04:39) maskofconcern: You think I could maybe come crash on your couch for a couple days? I'm not even using anymore, so I'll be alright.
(00:04:50) maskofconcern: My uncle's house is near the mall.
(00:05:12) niceshroomtip04: baby i cant because im staying with family
(00:05:17) maskofconcern: He's passed out now, though, had a lot of Jack.
(00:05:42) maskofconcern: You could convince them that I'm alright, though... you talk realy well.
(00:06:01) maskofconcern: Maybe like in a couple days?
(00:06:15) maskofconcern: I can't stay here long once my uncle starts drinking this much.
(00:06:35) niceshroomtip04: does he ever leave?
(00:06:45) maskofconcern: He's a really nice guy, and he works really hard.
(00:06:52) maskofconcern: He does construction.
(00:07:08) maskofconcern: But sometimes around holidays he just kinda has to relax.
(00:07:33) maskofconcern: He's working tomorrow, but he might call in sick if he keeps drinking in th emorning.
(00:07:44) niceshroomtip04: i see
(00:08:03) niceshroomtip04: do u beleive in God Mandy?
(00:08:04) maskofconcern: Maybe you could come by and hang out, if he goes in?
(00:08:26) maskofconcern: I don't know. He doesn't seem to listen when I talk to him.
(00:08:44) niceshroomtip04: if you would like me to i could
(00:08:53) maskofconcern: Why do you ask about God?
(00:09:17) niceshroomtip04: because i was curious
(00:09:20) maskofconcern: Do you?
(00:09:28) niceshroomtip04: yes
(00:09:58) maskofconcern: Is that how you found me? Did you get a feeling? My uncle's ex wife always said stuff about that.
(00:11:00) niceshroomtip04: well not exactly, but it is weird because there have been a few people i have met here that i have helped out without looking for it
(00:11:39) maskofconcern: Wow, you're a really nice guy. I want to meet you if we can.
(00:12:02) maskofconcern: Before then, I guess I should tell you something, because I don't want you to be upset with me when you meet me.
(00:12:18) niceshroomtip04: ok
(00:12:27) maskofconcern: If I wan't really 19, would that make you angry? I don't want you to think I lied to you, I just get nervous online.
(00:12:44) niceshroomtip04: no
(00:12:48) maskofconcern: I'll be 19 soon, though.
(00:13:14) maskofconcern: Just a few years, and my birthday's in May.
(00:13:26) niceshroomtip04: how old are you
(00:13:51) maskofconcern: I'm almost 15, but I feel so much older because of all this stuff in my life.
(00:14:05) maskofconcern: Do you hate me now?
(00:14:12) maskofconcern: I'm sorry. I just don't know.
(00:14:23) niceshroomtip04: Mandy you know i can get in a lot of trouble being with someone ur age
(00:14:54) maskofconcern: Nobody would have to know, besides, I'm really good at secrets.
(00:15:18) maskofconcern: I mean, I don't tell people things that make trouble.
(00:15:25) maskofconcern: You know? I hate trouble.
(00:15:37) maskofconcern: I just think you're really nice.
(00:15:44) maskofconcern: And I like that about you.
(00:15:49) maskofconcern: And you're really cute.
(00:16:10) niceshroomtip04: thank you...
(00:16:24) maskofconcern: I guess you're upset with me, I should've known.
(00:16:34) maskofconcern: I don't have any friends anymore, and I can't fix that.
(00:16:38) niceshroomtip04: no
(00:16:39) maskofconcern: I'd better go.
(00:16:40) niceshroomtip04: stop
(00:16:56) niceshroomtip04: i want to help you if i can
(00:17:03) niceshroomtip04: ur a sweet girl
(00:17:24) maskofconcern: Thank you, but I don't know. I don't want you to get in trouble if that's what you're afraid of.
(00:17:39) niceshroomtip04: when did u start using?
(00:17:59) niceshroomtip04: tell me truthfully
(00:18:04) maskofconcern: I got into my uncle's stuff one time a year ago, when he was at work.
(00:18:34) niceshroomtip04: ok
(00:18:45) niceshroomtip04: where are your parents?
(00:18:50) maskofconcern: But it's been a long time since I quit. It seems like forever.
(00:19:15) maskofconcern: They're in Indiana. They sent me out here to live with my uncle a few years ago.
(00:19:26) maskofconcern: They hate me.
(00:19:31) niceshroomtip04: im sorry
(00:20:05) maskofconcern: It's ok, I don't need them. They always made me do things anyway. And they were really hard on me.
(00:20:17) niceshroomtip04: if i give you something that helped my brother quit shards would you take it
(00:20:40) maskofconcern: Yeah, I kinda feel like I need something to help.
(00:20:45) maskofconcern: What is it?
(00:21:08) niceshroomtip04: well i have a guru in india
(00:21:16) niceshroomtip04: do you know what a guru is?
(00:21:31) maskofconcern: Is that like a priest?
(00:21:39) niceshroomtip04: sortof
(00:21:49) niceshroomtip04: hes a spiritual teacher
(00:22:00) niceshroomtip04: he also has healing powers
(00:22:56) maskofconcern: I really think that, you know, people can help eachother with powerful energy. I've believed that since I was really young.
(00:23:02) maskofconcern: How does he help?
(00:23:12) niceshroomtip04: well, you are right
(00:23:17) niceshroomtip04: they can
(00:23:39) niceshroomtip04: he can reform specail miricles
(00:24:03) niceshroomtip04: and one of them is making a sacred ash that comes from his hand
(00:24:25) maskofconcern: From his hand? What does he do with it?
(00:24:45) niceshroomtip04: can u hold on, bathroom
(00:24:51) maskofconcern: Yeah, sure.
(00:24:53) niceshroomtip04: thx
(00:27:04) niceshroomtip04: ok
(00:27:17) niceshroomtip04: u ther
(00:27:19) maskofconcern: Hold on, I have to go do something for my uncle. He's trying to get to his bed, but he's falling over.
(00:27:26) niceshroomtip04: sure
(00:27:51) maskofconcern: He told me to leave him to it, so I'm back.
(00:28:00) niceshroomtip04: aright
(00:28:11) niceshroomtip04: well his name is Sai Baba
(00:28:37) maskofconcern: That sounds really powerful.
(00:29:09) niceshroomtip04: well it seems to me that this is the reason i met you
(00:29:46) maskofconcern: How does the ash help? Is it like a medicine?
(00:30:04) maskofconcern: Could you show me how to use it?
(00:30:15) niceshroomtip04: do u see the picture of him
(00:30:22) maskofconcern: I do, yeah!
(00:30:32) niceshroomtip04: that is Sai Baba
(00:30:33) maskofconcern: He looks really peaceful.
(00:30:41) maskofconcern: I wish I could be that comfortable.
(00:30:46) niceshroomtip04: you will be
(00:30:54) niceshroomtip04: you need to trust me though
(00:31:14) niceshroomtip04: and this is not going to just wash away all your problems
(00:31:21) maskofconcern: I trust you, you're really cool.
(00:31:30) maskofconcern: How does it work?
(00:31:33) niceshroomtip04: it requires effort
(00:31:47) niceshroomtip04: well
(00:32:18) niceshroomtip04: i will give you the ash and you must take it three times a day in a glass of water
(00:32:40) niceshroomtip04: you can heat it or leave it cold how you prefer
(00:32:42) maskofconcern: Maybe you can come over tomorrow and help? I really want to meet you, and this sounds like it will help me a lot.
(00:33:08) maskofconcern: I can't pay you though, I don't have any money.
(00:33:13) niceshroomtip04: no way
(00:33:21) niceshroomtip04: i will never take your money
(00:33:51) maskofconcern: But if you're going to help me with this, and spend your time, and stuff, I feel like I owe you.
(00:34:09) niceshroomtip04: lets see about tommorow, since i dont have a car i will have to fuiger out how i can get to you
(00:34:17) niceshroomtip04: listen you dont owe me anything
(00:34:32) niceshroomtip04: this is what Sai Baba wishes to happen
(00:34:45) maskofconcern: Maybe we could hang out, and talk for a while. I want to do something good for you since you'll do something good for me.
(00:34:59) niceshroomtip04: this is my duty, and the obvious reason why i met you
(00:35:10) niceshroomtip04: i would like to talk to you
(00:35:15) maskofconcern: But maybe that's not all. Maybe that's just part of it.
(00:35:23) niceshroomtip04: and give you some advice
(00:36:09) maskofconcern: Cuz I really like you, you're so deep and you really look good.
(00:36:37) niceshroomtip04: well thank you, i want to help you because i have suffered a lot myself
(00:36:53) maskofconcern: Maybe you could help me, and I could make you feel good, too.
(00:37:05) niceshroomtip04: and you are very deep to be only 15 years old
(00:37:38) maskofconcern: I've been through a lot, and by my birthday, I'm sure there will be a lot more.
(00:37:47) maskofconcern: I really need someone to be close to.
(00:37:56) maskofconcern: I feel so alone, most of the time.
(00:38:19) niceshroomtip04: i do as well, but you see this is our journey to make us stronger
(00:39:20) maskofconcern: Well, then part of my journey is doing right by people who do right by me.
(00:39:57) maskofconcern: Maybe when you come over tomorrow, we can have my uncle's house all to ourselves for 10 hours, so we could spend some time relaxing together.
(00:40:06) maskofconcern: I'd realy like to see you naked.
(00:40:54) maskofconcern: I just wonder what such a good person looks like, and feels like. I wonder if it's like other people.
(00:41:18) niceshroomtip04: i do have passions to but i dont no if it is right to do
(00:41:46) maskofconcern: If it makes you feel good, and it's something I want to do, how can it not be right?
(00:41:59) niceshroomtip04: you really want to:?
(00:42:52) maskofconcern: Yeah, you're the only person I can remember being this nice to me, and you're really smart... and you look like you should be famous or something. You're really great.
(00:43:20) maskofconcern: And I have needs, too.
(00:43:30) niceshroomtip04: what are ur needs?
(00:44:15) maskofconcern: I need someone to make me feel like a normal person. I want to just be close to someone and feel like I'm special. I need to have someone hold me, especially because I'm so alone.
(00:44:28) maskofconcern: It would make me feel stronger.
(00:44:33) maskofconcern: Maybe strong enough to stay clean.
(00:44:35) maskofconcern: This time.
(00:45:45) niceshroomtip04: but i dont think that i could hve something long term with you
(00:46:01) niceshroomtip04: i mean i do find you attractive
(00:46:43) niceshroomtip04: and i know you could make me feel good too
(00:47:06) maskofconcern: I don't know, I mean, I just think that people have to do what's best at the time to keep their life moving, you know? I just think it would be good, and you would be happy, and I would be happy. I just think that things could be good for a little while, maybe it would help things get better for a long time.
(00:48:05) niceshroomtip04: have you ever been with an older guy b4 honestly?
(00:48:31) maskofconcern: Yeah, like 20.
(00:48:37) maskofconcern: How old are you?
(00:48:43) niceshroomtip04: 22
(00:48:55) maskofconcern: that's not old, even.
(00:49:07) niceshroomtip04: i guess not
(00:49:26) maskofconcern: Have you ever been with a younger girl before?
(00:49:46) niceshroomtip04: not ur age thats why im a little nervous
(00:49:56) maskofconcern: Not even when you were younger?
(00:50:16) niceshroomtip04: umm like at 17
(00:50:43) maskofconcern: So that's not anything new to you, then, so don't worry. You like me, and I like you.
(00:51:02) maskofconcern: And I really think you are nice.
(00:51:22) niceshroomtip04: thank you i feel the same way
(00:52:03) niceshroomtip04: u look older in ur pic...how tall are u
(00:52:03) maskofconcern: Then we can help eachother, tomorrow. I didn't know I could look forward to something anymore, but I'm really looking forward to meeting you, and more.
(00:52:10) maskofconcern: I'm 5'4"
(00:52:34) niceshroomtip04: ok
(00:52:49) niceshroomtip04: im looking at ur myspace
(00:52:55) maskofconcern: You're not going to disappear and make me sad, are you?
(00:53:00) maskofconcern: I really can't wait.
(00:53:07) maskofconcern: I'm all warm down there, now.
(00:53:40) niceshroomtip04: you are?
(00:53:50) niceshroomtip04: you look really good in those pics
(00:54:01) maskofconcern: Thank you.
(00:54:58) niceshroomtip04: very pretty too
(00:55:04) maskofconcern: Yeah, you're a pedophile, and I'm a 25 year old man, who's married to the chick you were swinging your "niceshroomtip" at. Fucking 14, dude. Jesus fucking Christ. And some goddamn cult shithead in India is your fucking wine-and-dine trick? Who the fuck are you?
(00:55:33) maskofconcern: you'll be lucky if I don't have some boys in blue show up tonight.
(00:55:48) niceshroomtip04: ur kidding right?
(00:55:57) maskofconcern: Sure I am. Laugh.
(00:56:27) maskofconcern: Where the fuck do you draw the line?
(00:56:32) maskofconcern: Come on guy, that's sick.
(00:56:45) maskofconcern: Not just a 14 year old, but an orphaned, drug-addicted, depressed one.
(00:56:48) maskofconcern: Jesus fuck.
(00:56:50) niceshroomtip04: why is it that you are luring me to say something u want to here
(00:57:20) maskofconcern: Try not passing yourself off as a sexual predator in the future, mr shroom tip.
(00:57:26) niceshroomtip04: and actually i feel really fucking bad for her
(00:57:41) niceshroomtip04: that aint cool man
(00:57:46) maskofconcern: No fucking shit!
(00:57:51) maskofconcern: Goddamn!
(00:57:56) maskofconcern: You're a sick fuck.
(00:58:06) maskofconcern: Go molest some kids outside of my fucking town.
(00:58:07) niceshroomtip04: no im not dude u dont know me
(00:58:21) maskofconcern: 14 years old!
(00:58:31) maskofconcern: Goddamn!
(00:58:56) niceshroomtip04: what are u trying to do have these conversations with me
(00:59:03) maskofconcern: And trying to pay $100 for the sex - prostitution as a pickup line? Good job dude. Props for retracting it, though, you goddamn contract voiding shit.
(00:59:21) maskofconcern: Me, I'm helping you get famous :D
(01:00:26) niceshroomtip04: u know that there are a lot of fucked up things people say online, like joke around
(01:00:49) maskofconcern: Yep. I'll bet. Don't see any kiddie porn on ebaumsworld, though, do you?
(01:00:51) maskofconcern: Pervert.
(01:01:07) maskofconcern: You can't backpedal outta this one.
(01:01:21) niceshroomtip04: do u see me trying to
(01:01:27) maskofconcern: What would Sai Baba say?
(01:01:55) maskofconcern: Oh, that's right, that was nonsense intended to get you into the pants of a 14 year old.
(01:02:15) maskofconcern: You couldn't even come up with your own con, you stole one from a fucking "guru"
(01:02:37) maskofconcern: Damn dude. Damn.
(01:03:17) niceshroomtip04: you do this to a lot of people i bet, basically lure them into something u want to here them say
(01:03:28) maskofconcern: I can't put words in your mouth.
(01:04:15) maskofconcern: When some jackass with a penis in his name comes onto my wife, I get a little defensive. When it turns out that that sexual predator is a bonafide sexual predator, I have to do my civic duty and out them.
(01:04:33) maskofconcern: I didn't tell you to whip out your dick on the internet, mr. tip.
(01:05:02) niceshroomtip04: but that aint really cool, i mean common u think that half the guys u talk to are really going to say any of those things
(01:05:08) maskofconcern: And I certainly didn't tell you how to proceed when a young child is begging you for help.
(01:05:58) maskofconcern: I think that there are some sick fucks out there, and I think you're pissed because I found out that you're with them, not us.
(01:06:30) niceshroomtip04: no i think that is bs dude sorry
(01:06:43) maskofconcern: What, did I write that shit you said?
(01:06:45) maskofconcern: No, you did.
(01:06:56) niceshroomtip04: and actually im a really fucking good guy
(01:07:06) maskofconcern: You know, we could have avoided all of this trouble if you'd just paid the $100 you offered.
(01:07:23) niceshroomtip04: i was fucking around!
(01:07:26) niceshroomtip04: jesus
(01:07:29) maskofconcern: ...we still can.
(01:07:35) maskofconcern: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!!!!!
(01:07:42) maskofconcern: You cunting pervert!
(01:07:51) maskofconcern: Go away, and think about this. I'm not calling any cops.
(01:07:57) maskofconcern: You're just a filthy, dirty man.
(01:08:20) maskofconcern: Leave my wife alone, or this shit will definitely be coming back to you.
(01:08:26) maskofconcern: Have a good one, pervert.
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