i am just a man still learning how to fall.
math final tomorrow at 8 am, can't sleep. i've been having the strangest dreams lately... even being awake right now feels more like a dream world than a conscious one. i've been dreaming of people, friends and loved ones, that i used to be able to see right through; no subtlety about them surprised me, but somehow every word delighted me. now i could hardly manage a conversation, because our conversations used to be stripped of all the bullshit small-talk and phony cheer, which almost always seems necessary to start something. but sometimes when you dig past the safety of small-talk, words hold no significance. they've all been said before, but all the other sensory data of that exact shared moment is completely new, freshly printed along filmstrips of memory. this is how we used to access eachother - these people in my dreams and i - but too many events have filtered between us, and though i know that intimacy still exists beneath the surface, the barrier is almost too thick to even attempt to destroy. in the dreams we all shed our skins and existing together feels natural again. upon waking, are we really worth the destruction?