You know you're asking too much to be held and not touched, but somehow that's just what you do.
I think I forgot to tell you guys that my Warlock came home since Christmas. I can see it in his eyes that he doesn't quite remember me, yet.
But that is alright.
In due time, he'll remember how much we love each other. He'll remember the nights we walked together and the things we talked about. He may not remember that he stepped on my foot and had to carry me home on his bareback, a year and a half ago. But he already began to tell me about the stars in the sky again.
"That's not a star. It's Mars." He said when I pointed at the bright orange star close to Orion.
"If that is Mars, then, that must be Venus." I pointed at a bright blue one.
Warlock blew the air out of his nose. "That's not Venus, silly. It's a plane!"
I laughed. "Oh, and I thought my Venus was just traveling fast."
Warlock taught me most of what I know about the stars in the sky.
**********
Pete and I had a minor debate.
I told him that I need to give it (relationship) some space. He got upset and said when girls said they 'need space', they go to clubs, get drunk, and sleep around.
I looked at him like he went mad. He noticed. So, he gave me a chance to explain what 'some space' means to me, which I told him. Some space, to me, means I go home, lock down my house, take the phone off the hook, take off my pants, light up some incense or candle, smoke a good cigar and contemplate the relationship.
He argued that the relationship consists of two individuals, and if I go off contemplating by myself, then, it is I, who have a problem.
I told him that that is exactly it. I'm contemplating my relationship with myself and my relationship with the relationship, itself. Am I being stubborn and unreasonable or is my integrity being compromised? It's all about me. That is why I need to give it some space. Not the other person. Not the both of us. Just me.
He said he understood, but would like to point out that my use of 'some space' does not conform to the conventional use of the social definition of 'some space'.
I am fortunate to have people around me that would pause and acknowledge that they are dealing with an unorthodox before jumping into a wrong conclusion.
But that is beside the point. When did the definition of 'some space' turned into a crowded place with drunks, and then, ended up in a pile of human orgy? What kind of flip-asre fucked is that?
If I said I need space and you throw me in a buzzing nerve-grinding environment like that, you'd better be prepare for some serious ugly.
*************
Speaking of the flip-arse fucked of a language abuse. When I was at Solvang this weekend, I overheard the conversation between the town tour guide and an eight years old boy.
The boy: You're dumb.
Tour guide: What does dumb mean?
The boy: It means stupid.
Tour guide: What does stupid mean?
The boy: shook his head and refuse to response.
Tour guide: Here is what I want you to do. Go home and look up the word 'dumb' in the dictionary. Then, look up the word 'stupid'. Then, I want you to look up one more word 'ignorance'. Would you like me to spell that for you?
I jiggled in my seat, wanted to climb over the boy and give the tour guide a kiss.
At the end of the tour, the boy and the tour guide were best buddies and the boy offered to share the tour guide his gummy worms.
It was a beautiful day.