(no subject)
Been joining the lads on the Total Gym this week and my stomach is already showing its magical stomach tone. Which is good. Was considering trying Wing Chun again, so have emailed a guy that runs classes in Beeston, as i wasn't too impressed with the uni lot last time. But knowing me i'll go once and then not go back, cursed lack of staying power. Being an impatient, defeatist perfectionist really is tha bane of my existence. And my terror of interacting with people isn't helping either :( But i guess at least i'd have someone to practice with at home, though A would kick my ass. Tis maybe wort a go. Waiting for my washing to finish so i can go have a much needed shower. Think we'll be off out to the White Hart tonight, not sure for how long though as A is staying at mine, as Ross's mum and sis are visiting.
Work is unsuprisingly still going nowhere due to my massive lack of motivation and general lack of will. I even couldn't be bothered playing computer games the other day. Not really sure whats wrong with me, but just keep plodding on blankly trying to ignore everything. However, its only 2 1/2 weeks til i move house and then not long after that i get to go home for a week, which'll be fantastic. I'm really looking forward to seeing my family and a few people. Still having driving lessons, which are like a big financial leech, but i have my test now on the 13th of October (other date had to be cancelled as my instructor is going on holiday), which should be plenty of time. Then after that i can start saving to pay of some debts.
Isn't it wierd sometimes how time just seems to pass by without anything to mark the days? It seems like life is just passing me by at the moment. Every time i stop to think about how much work i haven't done i realise another week has slipped away. I really need to do something about all this apathy but i have no idea what. It should just be as simple as a kick up the arse but somehow it isn't. You'd think that just sitting down and doing some work wouldn't be such a hard thing to do. According to the random iq tests i did today, its not my intelligence thats the problem, its just me. I keep looking for excuses for what is probably just laziness. But then is that because i'm not interested enough, challenged enough? *sigh* I don't know. But all this has just been going round and round in my head. I keep snapping at A and burtsing into tears at every small thing, using other life stuff to concentrate on instead of the real issuse of work.
The lack of opportunity to just go and sit somewhere with friends during the day, or go for a walk and just DO something is really getting to me as well. When i was in St A's i regularly just went and walked on the cliffs or the beach and listened to the sea. Or went and saw friends and played pool or cards with J or something. And then i was also roleplaying at least twice a week. That compared to the absolute nothing i do now... Its really frustrating, since i've got here, after an initial effort, i've just become so much more introverted. I have barely anyone i consider *actual* friends or even that i'd feel comfortable asking to spend some time with. Its my fault really for not trying harder with people and stuff, but again, vicious circle of introvertion.
So yeah, um, waffling...
Work is unsuprisingly still going nowhere due to my massive lack of motivation and general lack of will. I even couldn't be bothered playing computer games the other day. Not really sure whats wrong with me, but just keep plodding on blankly trying to ignore everything. However, its only 2 1/2 weeks til i move house and then not long after that i get to go home for a week, which'll be fantastic. I'm really looking forward to seeing my family and a few people. Still having driving lessons, which are like a big financial leech, but i have my test now on the 13th of October (other date had to be cancelled as my instructor is going on holiday), which should be plenty of time. Then after that i can start saving to pay of some debts.
Isn't it wierd sometimes how time just seems to pass by without anything to mark the days? It seems like life is just passing me by at the moment. Every time i stop to think about how much work i haven't done i realise another week has slipped away. I really need to do something about all this apathy but i have no idea what. It should just be as simple as a kick up the arse but somehow it isn't. You'd think that just sitting down and doing some work wouldn't be such a hard thing to do. According to the random iq tests i did today, its not my intelligence thats the problem, its just me. I keep looking for excuses for what is probably just laziness. But then is that because i'm not interested enough, challenged enough? *sigh* I don't know. But all this has just been going round and round in my head. I keep snapping at A and burtsing into tears at every small thing, using other life stuff to concentrate on instead of the real issuse of work.
The lack of opportunity to just go and sit somewhere with friends during the day, or go for a walk and just DO something is really getting to me as well. When i was in St A's i regularly just went and walked on the cliffs or the beach and listened to the sea. Or went and saw friends and played pool or cards with J or something. And then i was also roleplaying at least twice a week. That compared to the absolute nothing i do now... Its really frustrating, since i've got here, after an initial effort, i've just become so much more introverted. I have barely anyone i consider *actual* friends or even that i'd feel comfortable asking to spend some time with. Its my fault really for not trying harder with people and stuff, but again, vicious circle of introvertion.
So yeah, um, waffling...