community severance
i'm not the type of person to really hate community service. i am totally for helping out, i like making people feel better. so when our orientation leaders told us we were going to do some service learning today, i was cool with it.
hari kari would have been better.
we walked a couple blocks to this place, and i find out i'm going to be setting up for a neighborhood get-together, called "King's Fair." we meet the guy who is going to be telling us what to do, and our orientation group splits up into 3 or so groups to go do different things. then my group walks over to Smiley's clinic and start loading stuff out of the basement into the back of his truck. the guy is a total dick while we're doing this. at one point he said to one girl who was about to grab something moderately heavy, "Here, I'll give you something more manageable" and handed her some tiny pieces of wood. She looked offended and he said "Are you embarassed" to which she replied "No, I am capable". He apparantly didn't get the message.
So we move the stuff into his truck, and he tells us that we are bringing it somewhere about 4 blocks away. He gives us the worst and most complicated directions ever, including a map that looks like balls. It turns out all he needed to say was that it was two blocks one direction, another two in another direction. could have just said that.
he drives off, and we proceed on foot. we get there with little to no difficulty, and the guy calls us over. he says that he thinks we got lost, because we took so long. i want to inform him that not only were we on foot, but following the worst directions ever. Remember in Indiana Jones, when he uses the magic necklace thing to find where the Ark of the Covenant is? Actually, remember any obstacle Indiana Jones ever faced? Yeah, it was like that. Then the lady he is with says "maybe you don't know your way around a big town", to which i reply "Noohohooooo" by which i mean "FUCK YOU YOU DUMB OLD WHORE". dumbasses, why did it have to be dumbasses?
so we get started building these wooden arch type things, made sort of like tables but with really long legs. the man stands there, doing nothing but criticising us. oh yeah, and while he sits there doing nothing, he is SWEATING PROFUSELY. don't push yourself, champ, don't want a heart attack. then he wanders off for a while, leaving us to keep making these things. we get to our last table, and the wood is all warped, making it really difficult. we set it up after we're finished, and guess who comes meandering back to make my life miserable? he takes one look at the thing, and says "I dunno, i've got a college degree, and that doesn't look right" Oh? A college degree? from where, University of Hmm That Looks Wrong? fuck you, fuckhead. and what worse, he was right, so we had to replace 2 of the legs.
also, sometime during this whole process he opens up a pop right in front of all of us. it is hot as hell, and mr projectile sweat needs a soda. fuck him.
we finally finish (after he tells us he would appreciate our help on friday too, good luck with that) and start walking away. i call my orientation leader and start to describe the process, using as many swear words as i know. my OL was laughing so hard that he put it on speakerphone for the rest of my orientation group to hear. everyone tells me how funny it was. yeah, fucking hilarious. i end the conversation with this, "man, this guy, fuck, he fucking, he puts the Tear in Volunteer"
don't do community service, it sucks.
hari kari would have been better.
we walked a couple blocks to this place, and i find out i'm going to be setting up for a neighborhood get-together, called "King's Fair." we meet the guy who is going to be telling us what to do, and our orientation group splits up into 3 or so groups to go do different things. then my group walks over to Smiley's clinic and start loading stuff out of the basement into the back of his truck. the guy is a total dick while we're doing this. at one point he said to one girl who was about to grab something moderately heavy, "Here, I'll give you something more manageable" and handed her some tiny pieces of wood. She looked offended and he said "Are you embarassed" to which she replied "No, I am capable". He apparantly didn't get the message.
So we move the stuff into his truck, and he tells us that we are bringing it somewhere about 4 blocks away. He gives us the worst and most complicated directions ever, including a map that looks like balls. It turns out all he needed to say was that it was two blocks one direction, another two in another direction. could have just said that.
he drives off, and we proceed on foot. we get there with little to no difficulty, and the guy calls us over. he says that he thinks we got lost, because we took so long. i want to inform him that not only were we on foot, but following the worst directions ever. Remember in Indiana Jones, when he uses the magic necklace thing to find where the Ark of the Covenant is? Actually, remember any obstacle Indiana Jones ever faced? Yeah, it was like that. Then the lady he is with says "maybe you don't know your way around a big town", to which i reply "Noohohooooo" by which i mean "FUCK YOU YOU DUMB OLD WHORE". dumbasses, why did it have to be dumbasses?
so we get started building these wooden arch type things, made sort of like tables but with really long legs. the man stands there, doing nothing but criticising us. oh yeah, and while he sits there doing nothing, he is SWEATING PROFUSELY. don't push yourself, champ, don't want a heart attack. then he wanders off for a while, leaving us to keep making these things. we get to our last table, and the wood is all warped, making it really difficult. we set it up after we're finished, and guess who comes meandering back to make my life miserable? he takes one look at the thing, and says "I dunno, i've got a college degree, and that doesn't look right" Oh? A college degree? from where, University of Hmm That Looks Wrong? fuck you, fuckhead. and what worse, he was right, so we had to replace 2 of the legs.
also, sometime during this whole process he opens up a pop right in front of all of us. it is hot as hell, and mr projectile sweat needs a soda. fuck him.
we finally finish (after he tells us he would appreciate our help on friday too, good luck with that) and start walking away. i call my orientation leader and start to describe the process, using as many swear words as i know. my OL was laughing so hard that he put it on speakerphone for the rest of my orientation group to hear. everyone tells me how funny it was. yeah, fucking hilarious. i end the conversation with this, "man, this guy, fuck, he fucking, he puts the Tear in Volunteer"
don't do community service, it sucks.