me pitying my poor character :(
I'm hungry. And I need a blanket, he thought, But I really don't feel like getting up. Especially not going back in the galley, and even less in Tag's room. His ears flattened against his head and he squeezed his eyes shut.
I am afraid of Ignatious, even if i hate the idea. And his damned rat. It's not entirely his fault I don't suppose. Every time I am around him, something happens to bother or hurt one of us, if not both. I am going to stay as far away from him as I can.
He sighed. It wouldn't be a problem if he never got off of his bunk. It was starting to sound wonderful. He did wish he had the guts to go ask for his coat back, and pick up his hat and blanket while he was at it...but he would wait for Tag to return them (or throw them away). He wasn't sure he could even look at Tag right now.
Not even a greeting, he thought miserably. Tag wouldn't lie--he knew that. But the man obviously didn't feel as strongly as he had led Shin-sin-fa to believe. There must be another reason.
He let his mind wander through the possibilities for the thousandth time, trying to find one that wasn't the obvious and hurtful one. When he came up with something new, he chewed on it for awhile, trying to push down any excitement. Tag was just as devoted to duty and rules as he was. Was it possible Tag was trying to get Shin-sin-fa to dislike him, to keep them from breaking the rules? He mulled it over. It made more sense than the other things, though a voice in the back of his mind nagged at him for being so naïve and childish, believing what he wanted to. That would explain why he purposely was cruel to me, he thought, And why he hasn't apologized, or even acknowledged my existence. It even explains why, if he indeed was worried about me, he hasn't asked how I am. He was not aware as we are of how completely self-centered his thoughts were, but they gave him some comfort. Nothing I'd put money on, but I'll keep it in mind, he thought hopefully.
The obvious, hurtful possibility still existed though. He mustn't forget it. Most likely, the doctors had told him everything, since he had paid them. And Tag hated him. Heut was only avoiding more yelling because he was afraid it would turn into a fight and break a rule. Instead, he'd settled for pretending Shin-sin-fa didn't exist.
Shin-sin-fa simply could not bear the idea of the first mate hating him. He was trying so hard to be decent, to live up to this honesty that the officers and Anthony were so fond of. He'd been in trouble nonetheless, scads of it, and still Tag had shown appreciation for him. Then, without even knowing what he had done wrong...it had all changed. There had to be a reason; he just wasn't thinking hard enough.
He curled himself even closer, giving into a deep shiver that turned into a shudder, and wondered why the hell the ship was so cold. He mentally went through a list of everyone on the ship and tried to decide if it would ever be safe to get something to eat, or maybe find another blanket. There had to be spares.
Captain Flint didn't hate him, but the man was exasperated, it was clear. Who wouldn't be? Shin-sin-fa felt more than duty for the man--he felt genuine affection, and appreciation for the man's soft heart. He never would have been able to respect Flint though, if it weren't for...
First Mate Tag, who lent the threat behind the authority on board the RLS Etherium. Tag--he shook his head. He didn't understand anything about the man right now. Best to chalk him up on the "people that hate me until further notice" list.
Ignatious. Hates me. He gently rubbed his belly and winced.
Argus--no, First Mate Drake, as well, he thought sadly. The man is friendly...But how could anyone endure Shin-sin-fa's original confrontation, a complete disregard and rudeness despite his new authority, having to pull someone off of the boy during a fight, and think anything but ill of him?
Anthony. Doesn't hate me, he thought with some satisfacton. Anthony seemed willing to put up with him no matter what he did, which made him feel very good. He very nearly smiled.
The Giggle Brigade. He assumed they didn't like him; they confused him and he left them alone. He only remembered brief arguments with Anya and Fahna, and Xan's behavior toward Anthony had really gotten under his skin.
Otto...well, he couldn't be sure of Otto. He was fairly certain that Otto liked him. The feeling was mutual. Sometimes he felt like the other spacer might want to throttle him, but he felt that from people often, and as long as Otto never actually did so he could be considered friendly.
Jamie? He had taken a nearly-instant liking to the other beautiful boy. At first, seeing such a gorgeous, girly face and getting touched by its owner, out of pity no less, had inclined him to be disgusted with Jamie. However, what the boy said about "folk like us" had really touched him somewhere. People didn't often want to be associated with Shin-sin-fa, and he would definitely remember that remark. He nearly smiled again. Also, it felt good to have a boy his age on the ship--another that wouldn't be interested in letting the girls maul him, if he wasn't mistaken.
Five to eight, with more people that couldn't stand him.
But he was so hungry, and freezing.
He sighed again.
I am afraid of Ignatious, even if i hate the idea. And his damned rat. It's not entirely his fault I don't suppose. Every time I am around him, something happens to bother or hurt one of us, if not both. I am going to stay as far away from him as I can.
He sighed. It wouldn't be a problem if he never got off of his bunk. It was starting to sound wonderful. He did wish he had the guts to go ask for his coat back, and pick up his hat and blanket while he was at it...but he would wait for Tag to return them (or throw them away). He wasn't sure he could even look at Tag right now.
Not even a greeting, he thought miserably. Tag wouldn't lie--he knew that. But the man obviously didn't feel as strongly as he had led Shin-sin-fa to believe. There must be another reason.
He let his mind wander through the possibilities for the thousandth time, trying to find one that wasn't the obvious and hurtful one. When he came up with something new, he chewed on it for awhile, trying to push down any excitement. Tag was just as devoted to duty and rules as he was. Was it possible Tag was trying to get Shin-sin-fa to dislike him, to keep them from breaking the rules? He mulled it over. It made more sense than the other things, though a voice in the back of his mind nagged at him for being so naïve and childish, believing what he wanted to. That would explain why he purposely was cruel to me, he thought, And why he hasn't apologized, or even acknowledged my existence. It even explains why, if he indeed was worried about me, he hasn't asked how I am. He was not aware as we are of how completely self-centered his thoughts were, but they gave him some comfort. Nothing I'd put money on, but I'll keep it in mind, he thought hopefully.
The obvious, hurtful possibility still existed though. He mustn't forget it. Most likely, the doctors had told him everything, since he had paid them. And Tag hated him. Heut was only avoiding more yelling because he was afraid it would turn into a fight and break a rule. Instead, he'd settled for pretending Shin-sin-fa didn't exist.
Shin-sin-fa simply could not bear the idea of the first mate hating him. He was trying so hard to be decent, to live up to this honesty that the officers and Anthony were so fond of. He'd been in trouble nonetheless, scads of it, and still Tag had shown appreciation for him. Then, without even knowing what he had done wrong...it had all changed. There had to be a reason; he just wasn't thinking hard enough.
He curled himself even closer, giving into a deep shiver that turned into a shudder, and wondered why the hell the ship was so cold. He mentally went through a list of everyone on the ship and tried to decide if it would ever be safe to get something to eat, or maybe find another blanket. There had to be spares.
Captain Flint didn't hate him, but the man was exasperated, it was clear. Who wouldn't be? Shin-sin-fa felt more than duty for the man--he felt genuine affection, and appreciation for the man's soft heart. He never would have been able to respect Flint though, if it weren't for...
First Mate Tag, who lent the threat behind the authority on board the RLS Etherium. Tag--he shook his head. He didn't understand anything about the man right now. Best to chalk him up on the "people that hate me until further notice" list.
Ignatious. Hates me. He gently rubbed his belly and winced.
Argus--no, First Mate Drake, as well, he thought sadly. The man is friendly...But how could anyone endure Shin-sin-fa's original confrontation, a complete disregard and rudeness despite his new authority, having to pull someone off of the boy during a fight, and think anything but ill of him?
Anthony. Doesn't hate me, he thought with some satisfacton. Anthony seemed willing to put up with him no matter what he did, which made him feel very good. He very nearly smiled.
The Giggle Brigade. He assumed they didn't like him; they confused him and he left them alone. He only remembered brief arguments with Anya and Fahna, and Xan's behavior toward Anthony had really gotten under his skin.
Otto...well, he couldn't be sure of Otto. He was fairly certain that Otto liked him. The feeling was mutual. Sometimes he felt like the other spacer might want to throttle him, but he felt that from people often, and as long as Otto never actually did so he could be considered friendly.
Jamie? He had taken a nearly-instant liking to the other beautiful boy. At first, seeing such a gorgeous, girly face and getting touched by its owner, out of pity no less, had inclined him to be disgusted with Jamie. However, what the boy said about "folk like us" had really touched him somewhere. People didn't often want to be associated with Shin-sin-fa, and he would definitely remember that remark. He nearly smiled again. Also, it felt good to have a boy his age on the ship--another that wouldn't be interested in letting the girls maul him, if he wasn't mistaken.
Five to eight, with more people that couldn't stand him.
But he was so hungry, and freezing.
He sighed again.