Hitchhiker's Guide: Ford/Arthur slash

[imperfectcircle]

Title: Aliens Make Ford And Arthur Have Sex
Author: Me!
Rating: R
Betas: daegaer (who is responsible for the best line in here) and carmarthen - all mistakes, however, are mine.
With thanks: To my wonderful betas; to merka, who laughed in all the right places; to the anonymous livejournal fairy who gave me six months of paid time

Comments

Sex or death? SEX OR DEEAAATH?

[phlebjorn]

Eeehee! How kind and sweet life is! What a happy coincidence that when, for the first time in two months, I go and skim through LJs in a Bad Wrong And Frankly Pathetic way, there is SUPERHOTHITCHHIKER'SGUIDEMADSEXPORN! AIEEEE! I LURVE you!

I think that's scratched a long-term itch, actually. There's not much HHG fic, and there's even less with seeeeeeex, sweet sweet seeeeex, that makes my stomach all clench up in a good sexy sad hurty emotional sort of way. I think it was the collar-bone biting. And the yes-ing. You've made Ford/Arthur passion fit, which is always difficult with comedy characters, and it's unobtrusive and totally IC but ohsoright and they LURVE each other and, and, and BABIES!

Ahem.

And it was funny! "Look at it this way," said Ford, who had blinked twice since he'd idenified the battle fleet, "you can't repress being dead." And the whole paragraph about who gets to do what. Foreplay! Terminal heterosexuality! "The man"! Hee! And fish! And, yeah. It all just brought a great big smile to my face.

I'm sure there's something wrong about reading porn in ancient and wossname Xi'an, former capital of the Chinese empire, etcetera etcetara, but I'm not sure what. Anyway, sorry, just had to drop by and bother you, I couldn't let it go past uncommented. And mwah! And I hope you're okay! And stuff! Kiss kiss!

(and what's happened to afrai? Why's she turned into Dr MutantoGayfish? Not that I mind. Actually, I wish to marry her in her new incarnation and become Mrs MutantoGayFish! afrai, baby, if you see this then it's tantamount to giving your consent and is legally binding, okay? love,
Mrs MutantoGayFish.)

Death! Er, I mean, sex!

[foreverdirt]

You're still alive! Squee! And you like this! Squee! You picked out all my favourite bits (especially the yes-ing. I had to have me some alone-time when I thought of the yes-ing. Okay, so it was alone-time to giggle madly, rather than to do anything else, but yay! You mentioned the yes-ing!) and you thought it was funny and *joypride*!

Weird coincidence, because I was thinking of you yesterday. Well, thinking of Sir Humphrey/Jim. But also thinking of you. And I thought "I wonder if she's in Xi'an right now, the ancient and thingybob former capital of the Chine-" No, wait. I'm lying. But I was thinking of you, and it's good to know you're visiting cool places. And are alive. And happy and suchlike, I hope?

You probably won't get this for another few weeks (I am your sekrit stalker and know you will be back in England come September: MUHAHAHAHAHAA!) but if you do, have a good last month!

I'll email you about afrai, 'cos I'm not sure how V'ry, V'ry Sekrit it's all meant to be.

*Smoochsmooch*

PS IWTHYB

PPS

[foreverdirt]

I thought you were going to marry me?

*Sobs*