Jobs and 2017
Dear Livejournal,
Life is hard. Life is stressful. Sometimes its really over whelming. But I push on.
Whats bugging me? I only stop and write when I need to release some thoughts.
I'm 26 now. The older I grow the more I create this inner panic that I'm not where I should be. I have this standard of where I should be, I should let it go but its hard. I feel like I should have life figured out by now. Isn't that what others have? Yes, I know its not right to compare myself to others. Is it a habit? All my life comparing myself to others, grades, looks, circumstances.
I'm financially stable and solo. Solid job, living well, definitely not rich but that's not necessary. I'm working for a transportation company. One I quite have a like-hate relationship with. I'm good at doing my job, I just don't love it, barely like it most days. Being surrounded by managers that do not speak English in a freezing cold office full of silence. It really gets to me. Its lonely. I've found myself listening to talk videos and getting up away from my desk to socialize with the other department. Its so lonely.
This certainly isn't the job for me. But what is? I feel like I'm always going to be someone who gets bored of things within 6 months.
I came to Florida to be a zookeeper. Then I learned they're all paid $11/hour and have to work a second job. Sounds pretty miserable. I lost a lot of my interest in that position. I volunteer at the zoo, but the keepers aren't always very happy, one of them actually wanted to do something else but took a keeper job because she wasn't "smart enough" for forensic sciences. That still astounds me. There are people who would love your job and you are half hearted about it.
Feels difficult trying to find a job I could be whole hearted about. I would be bitter about struggling financially, but then I'm bitter at the boredom and the loneliness, the urge to be outside and the desire to work for the environment.
No one warned me of the science field. How the jobs are often sexist (Class A CDL??!) or want tons of experience. How you're expected to get experience by working for free. Great world we have.
7 months after my promotion and I'm thinking its getting time to fly the coop. But where to fly to? Job searching is like soul searching. I need an instruction manual to my soul and then I'll find the job I want.
Things will work out I'm sure. Maybe after I watch all the TED Talks and read a bunch of success/motivation/career books.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-jwWYX7Jlo
That video got me to Florida. I had the vision and went for it. I might be lost right now. But I will find or choose the path, there are so many to follow.
I guess journal, I just needed to let out some steam and reassure myself. In my head I get negative thoughts all the time. But writing here, I let go and start to draw out positive thoughts.
Thanks for setting my mind free.
~Death Comes Fast~
Life is hard. Life is stressful. Sometimes its really over whelming. But I push on.
Whats bugging me? I only stop and write when I need to release some thoughts.
I'm 26 now. The older I grow the more I create this inner panic that I'm not where I should be. I have this standard of where I should be, I should let it go but its hard. I feel like I should have life figured out by now. Isn't that what others have? Yes, I know its not right to compare myself to others. Is it a habit? All my life comparing myself to others, grades, looks, circumstances.
I'm financially stable and solo. Solid job, living well, definitely not rich but that's not necessary. I'm working for a transportation company. One I quite have a like-hate relationship with. I'm good at doing my job, I just don't love it, barely like it most days. Being surrounded by managers that do not speak English in a freezing cold office full of silence. It really gets to me. Its lonely. I've found myself listening to talk videos and getting up away from my desk to socialize with the other department. Its so lonely.
This certainly isn't the job for me. But what is? I feel like I'm always going to be someone who gets bored of things within 6 months.
I came to Florida to be a zookeeper. Then I learned they're all paid $11/hour and have to work a second job. Sounds pretty miserable. I lost a lot of my interest in that position. I volunteer at the zoo, but the keepers aren't always very happy, one of them actually wanted to do something else but took a keeper job because she wasn't "smart enough" for forensic sciences. That still astounds me. There are people who would love your job and you are half hearted about it.
Feels difficult trying to find a job I could be whole hearted about. I would be bitter about struggling financially, but then I'm bitter at the boredom and the loneliness, the urge to be outside and the desire to work for the environment.
No one warned me of the science field. How the jobs are often sexist (Class A CDL??!) or want tons of experience. How you're expected to get experience by working for free. Great world we have.
7 months after my promotion and I'm thinking its getting time to fly the coop. But where to fly to? Job searching is like soul searching. I need an instruction manual to my soul and then I'll find the job I want.
Things will work out I'm sure. Maybe after I watch all the TED Talks and read a bunch of success/motivation/career books.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-jwWYX7Jlo
That video got me to Florida. I had the vision and went for it. I might be lost right now. But I will find or choose the path, there are so many to follow.
I guess journal, I just needed to let out some steam and reassure myself. In my head I get negative thoughts all the time. But writing here, I let go and start to draw out positive thoughts.
Thanks for setting my mind free.
~Death Comes Fast~