Long ramble. Books ahead.
*Insert some emo crap about how I'm feeling a bit down but want you to think that I'm in excrutiating emotional pain*
- And that would explain why I went out to go on a frustration-relief book shopping spree today. I got: The last two books of the Farseer Trilogy (almost finished reading the first one today. Awesome book. Damn you Robin Hobb for being so awesome I now need to read all your stuff!) Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and another one - a rather unusual buy for me:
"In Bed With" - Unashamedly sexy stories by your favourite women novelists
It's a collection of short stories. I thought this would be a good book to read if I wanted to learn more about what good sex descriptions were like, since Laura's Vicky Lewis Thompson ones were basically the only ones I've ever read. (Which is probably why "Crashing Into Fate" turned out to be a bit... vanilla :P) Well... turns our this wasn't the book for me after all, at least judging from the first two stories (as hard as it is, I'll try to give the other stories a fair shot too). The first one is about a guy and a girl taking turns whipping each other. Only neither of them seems to be enjoying this and it's all very cold and boring. And then they have sex for a sentence or two. And then the story is over and the ending is boring.
The climax of the second's story's story arc comes when (the climax comes... ha - ha! Get it? The climax comes ^^) the protagonist girl breaks her ribs, vomits and falls into a dumpster, and is fished out by an ugly old guy. He pushes a morphine pill up her ass and kind of half rapes her with his fingers as he is reading erotic poetry to her. I say "half-rapes" only because the author describes it in a way that makes it seem enjoyable and as if the protagonist were willing. Though how one could be willing with broken ribs and an unconsented-to morphine pill up one's ass is beyond me. The "enjoyable" description also only lasts for one paragraph, which makes it useless for me even when it would just be about learning good descriptions...
Groan... seriously, I hope the other stories are better... Also, to show you how "unashamed" these "unashamedly sexy stories" are: All the authors are using pseudonyms. Which is now making me facepalm. Why oh why did I buy this you ask?
I only got this one because it was on the "recommended" shelf of my favorite bookstore. It's the shelf that led me to discover "The End of Mr. Y," which is why I sometimes give it a shot. Didn't work out this time, obviously. They also put Twilight on there a month or so ago. Thankfully, it's gone now, so I still trust them at least a little bit, though their "FTH's favorite bookstore" title will be forfeited if they allow themselves any more lapses like this one.
Books I couldn't/didn't buy today:
PopCo by Scarlett Thomas: I saw it after I'd already paid for the other books and felt it would be too embarrassing to go grab it and pay for it too. I'll just buy it some other time since I have enough to read.
Ship of Destiny by Robin Hobb: I am such a fucking moron for losing the other copy of this I bought. Aaagh! What was wrong with me?! How can you lose a book as big as that? It's just like me, though... Anyway, they didn't have it at the bookstore :( *sob sob*
Books I'd like to borrow from Elsa (Just making sure you don't forget. Ahem. I NEED MORE TALTOS! RAAGH!):
Vlad Taltos books. I can not live without these books. I CAN NOT!
Something by Ursula K. Le Guin, just because you keep harping on about her and our tastes really seem to match up otherwise. Just gimme one you like and I'll probably harp on about it along with you :P
No porn books, thanks. I already asked Moeshas for those after finding out what a failure my attempt at finding these was. She says she has plenty ^^
Books Elsa might want to borrow from me if she hasn't already read them (which is probably unlikely, but I can try...):
Paint Your Dragon by Tom Holt (Has a kind of Douglas Adamsy vibe to it)
Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams (Also has a kind of Douglas Adamsy vibe to it. He used to call it the best book he ever wrote. I tend to agree. It's the book I always buy multiple copies of so I can always spare one when people inevitably don't give me back the one I "lent" them :P ... okay, so I tell them they can keep it from the beginning, whatever, it sounds like a more enticing book the other way :P)
Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood (if I can find it. Right now it's on my "misplaced books" list)
Books I never ever let people borrow:
The Absolute Sandman by Neil Gaiman. Moeshas has this right now, but I trust her not to damage or mistreat it in any way. *hint hint*
And why am I making all these categories again? Aaanyway... other news about me: Went with Laura to the Lord of the Rings concert thing which she already told you about. It was super awesome and such, obviously. We also tried to matchmake one of her best friends with this cute guy who also went to the concertfilmthing. That didn't work out so well since said friend is very shy. Oh well, she'll get over it :P *HINT HINT*
What else? Oh, yes. Watchmen movie. It was very good.
Otherwise... schoooool. "Shakespeare Today" is the most boring crap course I've ever had the displeasure of participating in. It's about modern Shakespeare mise-en-scènes. Which sounds super interesting and awesome, but actually just has you watch 3 hour plays about naked people flinging mud at one another trying to be offensive by having gay sex in the dirt. Most other courses I have are bearable. Historical Climatology continues to be awesome but has me reading 40 page texts about statistics. A bit of a bummer with my atrophied maths skills.
About my long absence from writing Livejournal entries: I'm wavering between "sorry guys" and "suck it up". Pick and choose which of those two fits your current mood better I guess. (Hey, some of you might need somebody to be angry at right about now, I'm just trying to be considerate here)
About my writing: Almost zero progress. Imposing limited internet ban on self to try and change this. Also: am talking like Rorschach too much.
And now I guess I'll give another one of those porn stories a shot... see you guys soon and such!
Edit: Next story begins with "This happened two years ago. We are all wiser now - except perhaps Laura. She was a very pretty twenty-two-year-old." -- Moeshas, I really hope this won't destroy out perfectly fine relationship...
- And that would explain why I went out to go on a frustration-relief book shopping spree today. I got: The last two books of the Farseer Trilogy (almost finished reading the first one today. Awesome book. Damn you Robin Hobb for being so awesome I now need to read all your stuff!) Diary of a Wimpy Kid, and another one - a rather unusual buy for me:
"In Bed With" - Unashamedly sexy stories by your favourite women novelists
It's a collection of short stories. I thought this would be a good book to read if I wanted to learn more about what good sex descriptions were like, since Laura's Vicky Lewis Thompson ones were basically the only ones I've ever read. (Which is probably why "Crashing Into Fate" turned out to be a bit... vanilla :P) Well... turns our this wasn't the book for me after all, at least judging from the first two stories (as hard as it is, I'll try to give the other stories a fair shot too). The first one is about a guy and a girl taking turns whipping each other. Only neither of them seems to be enjoying this and it's all very cold and boring. And then they have sex for a sentence or two. And then the story is over and the ending is boring.
The climax of the second's story's story arc comes when (the climax comes... ha - ha! Get it? The climax comes ^^) the protagonist girl breaks her ribs, vomits and falls into a dumpster, and is fished out by an ugly old guy. He pushes a morphine pill up her ass and kind of half rapes her with his fingers as he is reading erotic poetry to her. I say "half-rapes" only because the author describes it in a way that makes it seem enjoyable and as if the protagonist were willing. Though how one could be willing with broken ribs and an unconsented-to morphine pill up one's ass is beyond me. The "enjoyable" description also only lasts for one paragraph, which makes it useless for me even when it would just be about learning good descriptions...
Groan... seriously, I hope the other stories are better... Also, to show you how "unashamed" these "unashamedly sexy stories" are: All the authors are using pseudonyms. Which is now making me facepalm. Why oh why did I buy this you ask?
I only got this one because it was on the "recommended" shelf of my favorite bookstore. It's the shelf that led me to discover "The End of Mr. Y," which is why I sometimes give it a shot. Didn't work out this time, obviously. They also put Twilight on there a month or so ago. Thankfully, it's gone now, so I still trust them at least a little bit, though their "FTH's favorite bookstore" title will be forfeited if they allow themselves any more lapses like this one.
Books I couldn't/didn't buy today:
PopCo by Scarlett Thomas: I saw it after I'd already paid for the other books and felt it would be too embarrassing to go grab it and pay for it too. I'll just buy it some other time since I have enough to read.
Ship of Destiny by Robin Hobb: I am such a fucking moron for losing the other copy of this I bought. Aaagh! What was wrong with me?! How can you lose a book as big as that? It's just like me, though... Anyway, they didn't have it at the bookstore :( *sob sob*
Books I'd like to borrow from Elsa (Just making sure you don't forget. Ahem. I NEED MORE TALTOS! RAAGH!):
Vlad Taltos books. I can not live without these books. I CAN NOT!
Something by Ursula K. Le Guin, just because you keep harping on about her and our tastes really seem to match up otherwise. Just gimme one you like and I'll probably harp on about it along with you :P
No porn books, thanks. I already asked Moeshas for those after finding out what a failure my attempt at finding these was. She says she has plenty ^^
Books Elsa might want to borrow from me if she hasn't already read them (which is probably unlikely, but I can try...):
Paint Your Dragon by Tom Holt (Has a kind of Douglas Adamsy vibe to it)
Last Chance to See by Douglas Adams (Also has a kind of Douglas Adamsy vibe to it. He used to call it the best book he ever wrote. I tend to agree. It's the book I always buy multiple copies of so I can always spare one when people inevitably don't give me back the one I "lent" them :P ... okay, so I tell them they can keep it from the beginning, whatever, it sounds like a more enticing book the other way :P)
Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood (if I can find it. Right now it's on my "misplaced books" list)
Books I never ever let people borrow:
The Absolute Sandman by Neil Gaiman. Moeshas has this right now, but I trust her not to damage or mistreat it in any way. *hint hint*
And why am I making all these categories again? Aaanyway... other news about me: Went with Laura to the Lord of the Rings concert thing which she already told you about. It was super awesome and such, obviously. We also tried to matchmake one of her best friends with this cute guy who also went to the concertfilmthing. That didn't work out so well since said friend is very shy. Oh well, she'll get over it :P *HINT HINT*
What else? Oh, yes. Watchmen movie. It was very good.
Otherwise... schoooool. "Shakespeare Today" is the most boring crap course I've ever had the displeasure of participating in. It's about modern Shakespeare mise-en-scènes. Which sounds super interesting and awesome, but actually just has you watch 3 hour plays about naked people flinging mud at one another trying to be offensive by having gay sex in the dirt. Most other courses I have are bearable. Historical Climatology continues to be awesome but has me reading 40 page texts about statistics. A bit of a bummer with my atrophied maths skills.
About my long absence from writing Livejournal entries: I'm wavering between "sorry guys" and "suck it up". Pick and choose which of those two fits your current mood better I guess. (Hey, some of you might need somebody to be angry at right about now, I'm just trying to be considerate here)
About my writing: Almost zero progress. Imposing limited internet ban on self to try and change this. Also: am talking like Rorschach too much.
And now I guess I'll give another one of those porn stories a shot... see you guys soon and such!
Edit: Next story begins with "This happened two years ago. We are all wiser now - except perhaps Laura. She was a very pretty twenty-two-year-old." -- Moeshas, I really hope this won't destroy out perfectly fine relationship...