(no subject)
Normally I love mincing words. I always like to play with double entendres and hidden meanings. Some of what I write makes more sense when read backwards than forwards - the chronology of the writing, not the actual letters in reverse - but tonight I feel no need for such clever wordplay.
I think I will come right out and say it.
I AM A GIANT PUSSY.
Why is it that I turn into a giant idiot around her? We have been friends for years and this shit never used to happen. I strongly suspect she has divided feelings for me as well. One minute we will be standing around - arms around eachother - enjoying whatever quiet random moment is occuring and a few hours later I will walk her to her car and we will barely hug goodbye.
Females I do believe are the most confusing thing ever. During a conversation tonight - at the local dive Rustler's - during a conversation about another shy boy.. my advice to her was to make sure he knew she was interested as there was some confusion about his intentions. -- begin quote -- "I don't think I should have to. He isn't a friend or anything. I mean if a friend was interested I would hope they'd say something about it. -- end quote -- Now if that isn't an obviously loaded statement I don't know what is. My response... I don't even remember. I just know right now that whatever I said right then wasn't evem nearly the correct reply.
I AM A GIANT PUSSY!
I know I was an advocate of the five on five off plan. - those that matter will know what I mean - those that don't and figure it out are super rad - but lately I have found myself more and more open to the idea of pursuing something. I don't really deal well with long distance relationships or quick emotional flings however.
At times I wonder if this slow ambiguous development might be partially responsible for the appeal of the whole situation. Then I remember that I have had a crush on her for going on 4 years now. Even before I re-entered the world of the single.
Bleh on a totally unrelated note.. she bought me a Betsy Johnson t-shirt that says
"boys <3 B.J." on the front. It matched her shirt.. which said "Girls <3 Johnson".
I don't believe I have ever matched someone walking into a bar. At least not intentionally. Much less wearing BJ gear.
Does anyone besides me ever have the clear-cut wish to be able to say something and decide 24 hours later if you want to keep the results or go back in time 1 day? I specifically wish this every time I see her. The funny part about this is that I am by no means closing myself off to other options. Hell - I even have other interests who will remain nameless at this point. BUT NOBODY makes me nervous and strange like this besides her. Not in so long I can't even remember the last time. Maybe never.
Anyways, I promise my next post will be thoughtful and inspiring. Beautfifully written and socially relevant. In the meantime thanks for suffering through the drivel.
I think I will come right out and say it.
I AM A GIANT PUSSY.
Why is it that I turn into a giant idiot around her? We have been friends for years and this shit never used to happen. I strongly suspect she has divided feelings for me as well. One minute we will be standing around - arms around eachother - enjoying whatever quiet random moment is occuring and a few hours later I will walk her to her car and we will barely hug goodbye.
Females I do believe are the most confusing thing ever. During a conversation tonight - at the local dive Rustler's - during a conversation about another shy boy.. my advice to her was to make sure he knew she was interested as there was some confusion about his intentions. -- begin quote -- "I don't think I should have to. He isn't a friend or anything. I mean if a friend was interested I would hope they'd say something about it. -- end quote -- Now if that isn't an obviously loaded statement I don't know what is. My response... I don't even remember. I just know right now that whatever I said right then wasn't evem nearly the correct reply.
I AM A GIANT PUSSY!
I know I was an advocate of the five on five off plan. - those that matter will know what I mean - those that don't and figure it out are super rad - but lately I have found myself more and more open to the idea of pursuing something. I don't really deal well with long distance relationships or quick emotional flings however.
At times I wonder if this slow ambiguous development might be partially responsible for the appeal of the whole situation. Then I remember that I have had a crush on her for going on 4 years now. Even before I re-entered the world of the single.
Bleh on a totally unrelated note.. she bought me a Betsy Johnson t-shirt that says
"boys <3 B.J." on the front. It matched her shirt.. which said "Girls <3 Johnson".
I don't believe I have ever matched someone walking into a bar. At least not intentionally. Much less wearing BJ gear.
Does anyone besides me ever have the clear-cut wish to be able to say something and decide 24 hours later if you want to keep the results or go back in time 1 day? I specifically wish this every time I see her. The funny part about this is that I am by no means closing myself off to other options. Hell - I even have other interests who will remain nameless at this point. BUT NOBODY makes me nervous and strange like this besides her. Not in so long I can't even remember the last time. Maybe never.
Anyways, I promise my next post will be thoughtful and inspiring. Beautfifully written and socially relevant. In the meantime thanks for suffering through the drivel.