(no subject)
I'm feeling something new. I don't know what it is, I can't even explain it. I'm feeling lost just because of this feeling. How can you deal with something(or not depending on what it is) when you don't know what it is? I feel drained, it's hard to make time for people and things, I have no where near the homework amount of my friends, but still, this is hard especially when I don't understand this whole particle wave photon theory thing. Garr, oh gometry is gay now, I'm pissed at Mrs. Shue, she told to move the othere day which is fine, but she picked my stuff up and moved it herself WHILE I WAS WORKING. Arr anger consumes my soul towards her. Umm what else is going on with Drew...need to ask Beth out still, but I need to wait untill after homecoming. Danielle, there is something wrong with her, I need to fix it directly or indirectly doesn't matter t me but my friends need to be happy with nothing wrong in their lives. I'm making a point to b myself, nothing held back, this is hard...I haven't done this in a long, long time. I want to be able to control everything in my life, I know I can't but I want to be able to. I want to stop being so god damn alone. I want everything to be perfect, I want the life I never had. Eli, I miss you, Alan you too. You are the closest people to me. Ever, you understand me even when I don't. I wish I was as smart as you(never going to happen but high expectations lead to great falls). I;m going to look for my wizard. My wonderful wizard, Eli you are comeing with me, it's not that you need to see him ,but I want you to come with me. Arm in arm I will discover the meaning of my life, or at least have a good adventure. I've been reading Alice 19th, this is a freaking awsome manga, it really makes me think about the way I treat people, and how and why people treat me like they do. I want everything to become easy again, jsut like when I was a kid. I miss sleeping without tears.