moderation and shit.
I awoke reeking of beer; keys, jacket and the memories of several hours of heavy drinking absent. my face scarred and bloody and my kitchen and living room thoroughly ransacked. "Oh fuck, this is gonna be a long day," i thought. the scenes that my roommates and neighbors were able to relate to me were not pretty. Apparently, I was:
kicked out of the liquor store upon my fourth visit after screaming "satanic blood" at the clerk following his unfortunate decision to refuse selling me beer due to my obviously fragile mental state (oh, and I also knocked over a rice crispy treats stand), made a girl cry (this was later proven to be false), destroyed a christmas tree in a frenzy while screaming "fuck christmas!!" (That's how my face got served), slammed an entire box of cheap wine prior to fucking my neighbors coffee table seconds before puking all over it (video to be posted shortly.) threw full cans of beer at my kitchen wall, smashed cookware with a hammer, ugh, yeah I'll stop there. I think you get the idea. All in all it was a wonderfully cathartic evening of shameless destruction. I guess if I can take away one lesson from this, it's that if I'm already groovin on nine beers, a double deuce, and a forty, it's probably not a good idea to accept my neighbors offer to help kill two twenty four packs.
kicked out of the liquor store upon my fourth visit after screaming "satanic blood" at the clerk following his unfortunate decision to refuse selling me beer due to my obviously fragile mental state (oh, and I also knocked over a rice crispy treats stand), made a girl cry (this was later proven to be false), destroyed a christmas tree in a frenzy while screaming "fuck christmas!!" (That's how my face got served), slammed an entire box of cheap wine prior to fucking my neighbors coffee table seconds before puking all over it (video to be posted shortly.) threw full cans of beer at my kitchen wall, smashed cookware with a hammer, ugh, yeah I'll stop there. I think you get the idea. All in all it was a wonderfully cathartic evening of shameless destruction. I guess if I can take away one lesson from this, it's that if I'm already groovin on nine beers, a double deuce, and a forty, it's probably not a good idea to accept my neighbors offer to help kill two twenty four packs.