Drinking
Hey there, I was out and about today, washed the mud off the pickup and went to Holmes Lake, sat there and did some soul searching. The weather was so beautiful, was 77, according to my pickup, and sunny out. There were people all over. I had plenty of time and serenity to do some thinking.
I think I understand why I am so emotional and feel so grounded at times. I used to drink very heavily and to excess, I did this for several reason, but mainly to forget about things. Alcoholism runs in my family and I set the beast free. It consumed me and made me numb to problems and feelings, I lost some friends due to this and lost a few other things as well. I would drink to feel normal and not have to think about things. Now that I had to make a decision a while ago to not to drink I have to face my fears and my problems. This has lead me to depression and many other things. I have finally been able to embrace the true me and find the real me. I am not making any excuses or wanting to make my drinking sound like a crutch. Everything I did was of my own doing and it was all decisions I made, no one else made them for me. I am finally able to embrace my problems and think them over to be able to deal with them, not drink them away. Yes there are days when I would kill everyone in the room for a bottle of liquor, but that's not the answer. We all are given problems to deal with, it's how we deal with them is what sets us apart from others. I have finally choose to deal with mine in a sane and logical way.
Well that's enough for now, thanks for following and reading. Have a great week.
I think I understand why I am so emotional and feel so grounded at times. I used to drink very heavily and to excess, I did this for several reason, but mainly to forget about things. Alcoholism runs in my family and I set the beast free. It consumed me and made me numb to problems and feelings, I lost some friends due to this and lost a few other things as well. I would drink to feel normal and not have to think about things. Now that I had to make a decision a while ago to not to drink I have to face my fears and my problems. This has lead me to depression and many other things. I have finally been able to embrace the true me and find the real me. I am not making any excuses or wanting to make my drinking sound like a crutch. Everything I did was of my own doing and it was all decisions I made, no one else made them for me. I am finally able to embrace my problems and think them over to be able to deal with them, not drink them away. Yes there are days when I would kill everyone in the room for a bottle of liquor, but that's not the answer. We all are given problems to deal with, it's how we deal with them is what sets us apart from others. I have finally choose to deal with mine in a sane and logical way.
Well that's enough for now, thanks for following and reading. Have a great week.