Shrek
So what is wrong with me? My best friend (only friend to be honest) comes to town again from Florida and wants to get together with her and 2 of our mutual friends, long story short we all are from camp, they are counselors I was the camper. I want to go badly and I really tell myself that, I do want to go. Then during my shower for some reason I find myself making a list of pro's and con's of going and then something takes over, most would call it fear but I don't feel fear of going, and I tell myself I'm not going. I end up staying home and doing the same damn exact thing I've done for a long time now, watch an hour of TV and then get on my computer here and do a lot of nothing but waste time before bed.
Why is it that I am so capable of derailing myself, is it because I have no self esteem? Is it because I feel like I'm a burden to those who help me? I am wondering why I am unable to break through this hidden barrier that I have put myself in, and when did I build this up? I often feel that I have so much to say in my mind but I am unable to put the words together and say it. Is this the way to break out of what I am in? Why can't I accept myself for who I am and learn to live?
Not much more to say and thanks for listening.
Why is it that I am so capable of derailing myself, is it because I have no self esteem? Is it because I feel like I'm a burden to those who help me? I am wondering why I am unable to break through this hidden barrier that I have put myself in, and when did I build this up? I often feel that I have so much to say in my mind but I am unable to put the words together and say it. Is this the way to break out of what I am in? Why can't I accept myself for who I am and learn to live?
Not much more to say and thanks for listening.