(no subject)
So... surgery tomorrow. No big deal, right? That's what everyone keeps saying. It fucking sucks because I look for sympathy or reasurance and the most caring and compassionate people who are just so loving and nice about it....are my co-workers.
It's really making me take a step back to look at my life. And the people that I hold a priority. I'm thinking about rearranging that list.
Not that my parents aren't sympathetic or anything, because they are... I just expected more from some people. I expected more..... I dunno.... compassion. I understand it's a minor surgery... it takes all of an hour to do, I'm home that day. But fucking Christ, I'm scared. And you know what sucks even more? It's the fact that when it's done I'm probably going to hear the "I told you it wouldn't be a big deal" bullshit. I hate being made to feel as if I'm a fucking idiot for being scared about something like this. I just sucks. But hey, it makes me realize some things.
A lot of things lately have made me open my eyes more. I've realized a LOT of things over the last 2 weeks. Both good and bad. Mental, physical, emotional. But like I always say.... no matter what, I'll be stronger in the end.
So I suppose I'll try to go to bed. Ha, like that's going to happen. I have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning to go have surgery. I'm sure I'll sleep juuuuuust fine.
Oh yeah, and a quick P.S. for all you meddling dickheads out there who don't know how to mind their own business.... this is NOT about Justin (contrary to popular belief, I do have other people and problems in my life that are not Justin) and this entry is NOT filtered... so go fuck yourself.
For all the true friends out there... wish me luck :) I'll update tomorrow, letting everyone know that I'm doing just fine.
It's really making me take a step back to look at my life. And the people that I hold a priority. I'm thinking about rearranging that list.
Not that my parents aren't sympathetic or anything, because they are... I just expected more from some people. I expected more..... I dunno.... compassion. I understand it's a minor surgery... it takes all of an hour to do, I'm home that day. But fucking Christ, I'm scared. And you know what sucks even more? It's the fact that when it's done I'm probably going to hear the "I told you it wouldn't be a big deal" bullshit. I hate being made to feel as if I'm a fucking idiot for being scared about something like this. I just sucks. But hey, it makes me realize some things.
A lot of things lately have made me open my eyes more. I've realized a LOT of things over the last 2 weeks. Both good and bad. Mental, physical, emotional. But like I always say.... no matter what, I'll be stronger in the end.
So I suppose I'll try to go to bed. Ha, like that's going to happen. I have to wake up at 5:30 in the morning to go have surgery. I'm sure I'll sleep juuuuuust fine.
Oh yeah, and a quick P.S. for all you meddling dickheads out there who don't know how to mind their own business.... this is NOT about Justin (contrary to popular belief, I do have other people and problems in my life that are not Justin) and this entry is NOT filtered... so go fuck yourself.
For all the true friends out there... wish me luck :) I'll update tomorrow, letting everyone know that I'm doing just fine.