im a hurricane kinda girl, I don't even know what a light drizzle feels like...
Why is it that I always feel stuck? Am I ever going to feel happy? I'm sick of wondering the answers to these questions. I told my sister about my addiction problems and now she said shes being tormented by her knowledge. She still promised not to talk about it with my family but like, she wants me to tell my mom. I can't. I don't want to fuck her up even more so then my existance does. I dont know what to do. It was really like fucked up, she was talking about our childhood, she brought things up I havent thought about (or wanted to think about) in YEARS literally like over 10 years.Like her jumping in front of me when I was about to get hit and her saying to my dad "im not gonna allow you to hurt another one of us"...it hurts thinking about that shit. People always ask me where like my selflessness comes in. And now i remember, I learnt it from my sisters when we were younger. They used to throw themselves into my fights so I wouldnt get hurt. Now i know why I always jump into peoples problems wanting the brunt of it. It makes sense. Its weird how the human mind works. My sister's really torn up knowing now that I was in it. She doesnt know how to deal with what ive told her and it kinda makes me wish I didnt. But like, she said if I did tell my mom and shit my family would get me on a whole other level because no one understands me and every misinterprets every single action and word. I just like...feel completely deflated. I dont even know man. Dealing with this shit is just depressing me. I'm so sick of the fuckups and the drama they bring.
*Jessieandtheletovermessfromherfuckups*
p.s-will anyone ever get me?
*Jessieandtheletovermessfromherfuckups*
p.s-will anyone ever get me?