Wasted efforts, broken promises and LIES LIES LIESSSSSS
COOL BEANS! ANOTHER HEALTH PROBLEM! now i have to give up smoking, the only fuckin thing left that brings my miserable existance some sort of pleasure. Apparently my lungs are shot to shit and i am dancing close to getting emphasyma (spelling?) I have to like use this inhaler and they put me on major steriods and all that fun shit! Yay sucking at life! Whatever, im done with all this shit. I'm starting to become a cynic and do not believe things are going to get better. Cause it will start to get better, it looks like the forecast for a warm and sunny day then you step outside, BAM lightning strikes you right in the fuckin head. Then downpour, you're laying on the ground, shocked and electricuted, drowning in a puddle of mud. Life is fun like that isn't it? And it was supposed to be the nicest day of the year. I'm sick of meeting people who don't get me or understand me. Am I that fuckin nuts that no one can even comprehend the idea of me? I'm feeling more like a loner everyday and I have all these acquaintances around me trying to make me feel better BUT NONE OF THEM GET IT! They dont even fuckin know me and they're sitting there yelling at me for my stupidity for trusting strangers. I can't help it! I can't help but trust a stranger cause one day just maybe the stranger I trust will be WORTH trusting, unlike every ASSHOLE i've come across so far...is it too much to ask for, meeting ONE trustworthy person thats not gonna break me down? try to figure me out then bounce? Am I like this disappointing secret? It's like they start to peel away my layers and once they start to see whats underneath, its like, oh...not what I was expecting, I think I'm gonna go with something else...
Just...uhhhh FUCK mannnnnnnn damn it.
How can you tell if someones a douchebag so that it saves time? All this time I dont have that people are just wasting selfishly because they dont get it! They dont get life is so fuckin short and it could be over in a heartbeat.
WHY DONT YOU GUYS GET THAT!?
more of my friends are dying everyday and I get to sit here and watch them and its so fucked up because ITS NORMAL! its normal to watch people fade out and die. But why do I feel like I'm the only one witnessing this life process? Why am I the one behind the closed doors to see the suffering on full blast while everyone gets the see the masks and the pretend happiness...why do I get stuck with the rawness? Maybe people trust me with their real selves and need someone to see all that pain. I just dont even know what to do for them anymore. DRUGS SUCK. End of story.
I'm a no one. Just a life that exists that will eventually be just a few memories. Thats all I will be...a memory of someone who existed...because thats all we are. You just die and people forget about you...forget all that effort you tried to stand out, make a difference, make a dent so that you won't be forgotten...but the world has alzheimers, so your fate is inevitable.
You.Will.Be.Forgotten.
*Jessieandthetruththatsucks*
Just...uhhhh FUCK mannnnnnnn damn it.
How can you tell if someones a douchebag so that it saves time? All this time I dont have that people are just wasting selfishly because they dont get it! They dont get life is so fuckin short and it could be over in a heartbeat.
WHY DONT YOU GUYS GET THAT!?
more of my friends are dying everyday and I get to sit here and watch them and its so fucked up because ITS NORMAL! its normal to watch people fade out and die. But why do I feel like I'm the only one witnessing this life process? Why am I the one behind the closed doors to see the suffering on full blast while everyone gets the see the masks and the pretend happiness...why do I get stuck with the rawness? Maybe people trust me with their real selves and need someone to see all that pain. I just dont even know what to do for them anymore. DRUGS SUCK. End of story.
I'm a no one. Just a life that exists that will eventually be just a few memories. Thats all I will be...a memory of someone who existed...because thats all we are. You just die and people forget about you...forget all that effort you tried to stand out, make a difference, make a dent so that you won't be forgotten...but the world has alzheimers, so your fate is inevitable.
You.Will.Be.Forgotten.
*Jessieandthetruththatsucks*