Textbooks are better served cold ...
Well, there is no possible way that I can say everything I want to about the opening of GARF this weekend. And I'm not sure that there's a way for me to voice both my absolute delight that it's RenFest season again while still giving note to how insecure and out of place I'm feeling.
Overall it was wonderful though. I was really freaked out about it last week and I was wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into but as soon as I stepped foot on site I remembered how much I loved being there, how many awesome and talented people there are and just how much fun there is to be had. Of course dust, heat, the boning in bodices that pokes you, rocks in your shoes, pollen, sun burn and driving in garb do still suck.
The other sucky part is the voice in my head that keeps asking me "What the hell are you doing? This is stupid. You don't belong here. No one likes you, neither cast nor patron. This is a waste of your time. No one wants you there. Get out of this while you still can. You don't belong, give it up, you never will." And I'm not posting that to solicit encouragement, rather I'm just being honest about what's going through my mind while at the same time giving even more power to my insecurity by writing about it on LJ. Yeah, yeah, it's wrong. I know.
So in summary:
Ren Fest, Lost Boys, Three Quarter Ale, Joni Minstrel, Pub Sing, garb, hanging out with luvnscandl all weekend, the Lost Lounge, the new Mud Show, Health to the Company, sunny weather, etc., all wonderful!
Insecurity, the persistant feeling that no one on cast likes me, sleep deprivation, , Ded Bob's creepy laughing baby, forgetting to eat until 5pm on Sunday, the fact that even I care whether or not people like me, etc., all really make me miserable.
Overall it was wonderful though. I was really freaked out about it last week and I was wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into but as soon as I stepped foot on site I remembered how much I loved being there, how many awesome and talented people there are and just how much fun there is to be had. Of course dust, heat, the boning in bodices that pokes you, rocks in your shoes, pollen, sun burn and driving in garb do still suck.
The other sucky part is the voice in my head that keeps asking me "What the hell are you doing? This is stupid. You don't belong here. No one likes you, neither cast nor patron. This is a waste of your time. No one wants you there. Get out of this while you still can. You don't belong, give it up, you never will." And I'm not posting that to solicit encouragement, rather I'm just being honest about what's going through my mind while at the same time giving even more power to my insecurity by writing about it on LJ. Yeah, yeah, it's wrong. I know.
So in summary:
Ren Fest, Lost Boys, Three Quarter Ale, Joni Minstrel, Pub Sing, garb, hanging out with luvnscandl all weekend, the Lost Lounge, the new Mud Show, Health to the Company, sunny weather, etc., all wonderful!
Insecurity, the persistant feeling that no one on cast likes me, sleep deprivation, , Ded Bob's creepy laughing baby, forgetting to eat until 5pm on Sunday, the fact that even I care whether or not people like me, etc., all really make me miserable.