(no subject)
"45"
Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
Keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
I'm swimming through the ashes of another life
There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
There's too many times that I feel this way. I feel as though I'm losing my heart... my humanity. Sometimes I feel as thought I'm holding on by a thread, over a pit of eternal darkness, and that if I slip up, I'm going sprialing into darkness again, and this time, I'm afraid that I won't be able to get out. I have few things to live for, and my drugs aren't around anymore. If I lose what I live for I'm afraid of what will happen. I'm afraid of what I will do. i'm so fucked up mentally and emotionally and unstable that I know if anything happens I'm staring self mutilation in the face again.
Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight
Many people don't know me well enough to know that I've been with someone that's miscarried my child, all because I was negligent in her health and needs, and had I payed more attention to her needs and the needs of my unborn child, I'd be a father by now. I feel as thought I 'm running ouy of time to have children, I"m 28, nearly 29 and I still haven't settled down to start a family, what's even worse, is my partner is nine years younger, only 19, and she's not ready for children for at least another few years. I love her dearly but our relationship has been so rocky that it scares me. I don't want to lose her, not again. Without her my life starts to fall apart, and I'm scrambling on the ground, blindly and in the dark.
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
everytime I break down I beceom so closed off, I become cold hearted and disheartening. I also develop issues with anger. It has gotten bad enough that I once even slapped my fiancee in the mouth hard enough to split her lip. I don't remember it, I was withdrawing really bad from the coke, it was unnacceptable.
I'm usually the one that gets slapped and knocked around,--and I enjoy it, alot. One time I was hit in the side of the head for rubbing my hard-on against my fiancee's back and she turned around and slapped me with it, and I loved every second of it. It's sick and fucked up, but I'm masochisticm, (or is it sadistic?) I don't like to inflict pain, but I love the inflicted pain.
[CHORUS]
Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe
[CHORUS]
End
Send away for a priceless gift
One not subtle, one not on the list
Send away for a perfect world
One not simply, so absurd
In these times of doing what you're told
Keep these feelings, no one knows
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
And I'm staring down the barrel of a 45,
I'm swimming through the ashes of another life
There's no real reason to accept the way things have changed
Staring down the barrel of a 45
There's too many times that I feel this way. I feel as though I'm losing my heart... my humanity. Sometimes I feel as thought I'm holding on by a thread, over a pit of eternal darkness, and that if I slip up, I'm going sprialing into darkness again, and this time, I'm afraid that I won't be able to get out. I have few things to live for, and my drugs aren't around anymore. If I lose what I live for I'm afraid of what will happen. I'm afraid of what I will do. i'm so fucked up mentally and emotionally and unstable that I know if anything happens I'm staring self mutilation in the face again.
Send a message to the unborn child
Keep your eyes open for a while
In a box high up on the shelf, left for you, no one else
There's a piece of a puzzle known as life
Wrapped in guilt, sealed up tight
Many people don't know me well enough to know that I've been with someone that's miscarried my child, all because I was negligent in her health and needs, and had I payed more attention to her needs and the needs of my unborn child, I'd be a father by now. I feel as thought I 'm running ouy of time to have children, I"m 28, nearly 29 and I still haven't settled down to start a family, what's even worse, is my partner is nine years younger, only 19, and she's not ready for children for at least another few years. I love her dearly but our relationship has been so rocky that it scares me. I don't want to lose her, not again. Without her my life starts to fall apart, and I'm scrambling on the ground, blindly and in the dark.
What ever happened to the young man's heart
Swallowed by pain, as he slowly fell apart
everytime I break down I beceom so closed off, I become cold hearted and disheartening. I also develop issues with anger. It has gotten bad enough that I once even slapped my fiancee in the mouth hard enough to split her lip. I don't remember it, I was withdrawing really bad from the coke, it was unnacceptable.
I'm usually the one that gets slapped and knocked around,--and I enjoy it, alot. One time I was hit in the side of the head for rubbing my hard-on against my fiancee's back and she turned around and slapped me with it, and I loved every second of it. It's sick and fucked up, but I'm masochisticm, (or is it sadistic?) I don't like to inflict pain, but I love the inflicted pain.
[CHORUS]
Everyone's pointing their fingers
Always condemning me
And nobody knows what I believe
I believe
[CHORUS]
End