Me and My Ships
"So, Phil, what do you think about his newest drama?"
"Honestly? I feel betrayed."
"Eh? Betrayed? Why?"
"I don't know. I just, well, I really do feel betrayed."
That was a brief conversation I had with my friend back then when we found out that our favorite actor had got his new drama and co-staring with a beautiful actress.
Back then I still don't understand why I feel betrayed. I mean, it wasn't me who's in relationship, it was my ship: that actor and his previous co-star. But recently I know the reason.
The thing is, we protect what we love, right? And, damn, when I ship I do it hard. So hard that I practically can feel their feeling to each other (mostly headcanon but, well, I hope you know what I mean).
I love their love.
I don't know since when I have this feeling but I understand that most of the time I'm always in love with couple's love. I love it so much that I want to protect it at any cost.
I love seeing them falling in love to each other, taking care of each other, understanding each other, protecting each other.
It also hurt me when I know that they had a fight, or break up, or one being left behind.
I feel jealous when I found out that one of my pair seeing someone else.
I'm angry when they aren't faithful to each other.
And so, I feel betrayed when one of them moved to another person.
Just like what happen with my second-to-recent ship. (Not my newest, but the one exactly before I ship my newest pair).
So, yeah. The answer to that conversation is : I feel betrayed because the one from my ship is move on another person while the other person from my ship is still here. I feel the betrayal from one of them.
I know it sounds ridiculous, that I easily become a mess just from shipping. But I think I learn many things from being a shipper and for me, personally, seeing my pair happy is enough for me.
Call me a coward, for not having my own relationship because, yes, I'm afraid. I don't mind you talking bad about me, but don't mess with my ship.
I'm not going to start a war, tho. Shipping war is just as ridiculous as the fact that most of us doesn't have a life. So I'll just sit here, hallucinating in my own world with my ships and getting high from it.
Conclusion? I love couple's love. I love it so much that I want to protect it at any cost. I love it so much that somehow I can feel the feelings my pair had to each other. The bad thing is, I ship many and when I do it, I do it HARD. So when I feel like the relationship had ended, I leave too. But I'll still remember them. As part of my beautiful memories.
Maybe I don't love them as a pair anymore. But I still like them as a one person. So it's different.