014 ∞ VIDEO
[The shot opens on a close up of the back of Nathan's Community Payback jumpsuit, which, once the camera has zoomed out, can be seen to be hung on the back of his door. It's about the only thing in his room that seems to be in place when the camera pans around the room. There's a pile of dirty washing. A pile of shoes. Some stray feathers. His cigarettes, lighter, iPod, mobile phone and an empty Coke can are cluttered on his bedside cabinet. Finally, the camera comes to focus on Nathan, curled up under his blankets and a layer of letters. He's fast asleep. If you didn't know him, you might almost say he looks innocent.
And then the voice of the narrator.]
Today we join Nathan, a young offender rumoured to have been given his ASBO after eating some pick'n'mix. Currently trapped in a universe without Wertham, he's taking what he sees as a well earned break from his Community Service.
[The scene cuts to when Nathan's woken up. He's sitting now, though hasn't left his bed. He's squinting at the camera blearily, tearing up the letters.]
Why did you say you were doing this again?
We're trying to gain insight into how you've been living here.
Right. Well, can this wait until after I've had my morning wank? Because I'm going to need something to tide me over if you're going to be filming me all day.
[The next scene isn't all that much of an improvement over Nathan having a wank. They're in the bathroom now. Nathan is peeing, hands clasped behind his head as he stands in front of the toilet. Luckily, the camera is filming from behind, so it could be worse.]
After some discussion, we agreed to film Nathan's bathroom routine. [The terseness in the narrator's voice would imply they're doing this under protest. And not doing much to hide it.]
[Apparently finished, Nathan bounces on the balls of his feet a bit, then tucks himself back into his boxer briefs. Then he turns to grin at the camera.] See? No hands! [The next ten minutes are occupied with Nathan brushing his teeth and making faces in the mirror. Clearly this is fascinating to anyone watching.]
[It's later in the day now. Not that it's obvious, given they're inside a clothes shop. Nathan is inspecting a t-shirt he quite likes the look of.]
See, the trick to lifting is you have to make sure no one's looking. Or get someone innocent looking to do the dirty work for you.
It's risky, but it's better than buying. You pay for this shit, you're basically encouraging the labour of small, malnourished African kids who don't even have any fingers. I mean, I don't really care about them. But it's the people who do that go out of their way to pay for things made specifically by underpaid Africans. I think we all know I'm the one with the moral high ground here.
[He sticks out his lower lip thoughtfully, surveying his surroundings.] Hey. Would you mind turning that off a sec?
[The scene cuts to a bar. There are two Nathan's now. Both are looking grumpy and nursing a beer.]
You're just like him.
Fuck off. Just 'cause you are. I'm nothing like him.
Oh, yeah. 'Cause everyone just pulls those comparisons from nowhere. Why else do you think Mum kicked us out?
Because of her stupid boyfriend. Anyway, I'm making up with Dad. Just leave it, yeah?
One breakfast. You didn't even want that much.
What do you know? [Nathan looks at the camera, annoyed.] Will you turn that off?
[While Nathan and his clone are busy bitching, the camera crew go elsewhere. In other words, an NPC dark haired girl in her early twenties. The Nathans are at the other side of the bar and she spares them a disgusted glance.]
Him? He's crap. He lasted like five minutes. [She pulls a face, taking a sip from her drink.] And I'm pretty sure he gave me crabs.
[Back over to Nathan now, he's looking completely offended. Clone Nathan is mirroring his expression in the background.]
That little tart. I said we could have another go! I'll admit that was embarrassing, but I have really good recovery time.
And she must've caught crabs off someone else. I haven't had them the whole time I've been here. Okay, I won't lie and say I've never had them, but we all make mistakes, right?
She's full of shit, anyway. I'm a really good kisser.
He's right. I am. We gave it a go back there when we went to the toilet. But whatever. That's her loss. We might be going soon.
Hey, you guys are paying the tab right?
...that's a good point. Are you?
No.
[ooc: Cut, because wow, that got long. This is what I get for playing someone who'll play along. Italics is the narrator. Orange is clone Nathan. Pink is NPC girl.
ETA- And I meant to say. Post forward-dated to midnight.]
And then the voice of the narrator.]
Today we join Nathan, a young offender rumoured to have been given his ASBO after eating some pick'n'mix. Currently trapped in a universe without Wertham, he's taking what he sees as a well earned break from his Community Service.
[The scene cuts to when Nathan's woken up. He's sitting now, though hasn't left his bed. He's squinting at the camera blearily, tearing up the letters.]
Why did you say you were doing this again?
We're trying to gain insight into how you've been living here.
Right. Well, can this wait until after I've had my morning wank? Because I'm going to need something to tide me over if you're going to be filming me all day.
[The next scene isn't all that much of an improvement over Nathan having a wank. They're in the bathroom now. Nathan is peeing, hands clasped behind his head as he stands in front of the toilet. Luckily, the camera is filming from behind, so it could be worse.]
After some discussion, we agreed to film Nathan's bathroom routine. [The terseness in the narrator's voice would imply they're doing this under protest. And not doing much to hide it.]
[Apparently finished, Nathan bounces on the balls of his feet a bit, then tucks himself back into his boxer briefs. Then he turns to grin at the camera.] See? No hands! [The next ten minutes are occupied with Nathan brushing his teeth and making faces in the mirror. Clearly this is fascinating to anyone watching.]
[It's later in the day now. Not that it's obvious, given they're inside a clothes shop. Nathan is inspecting a t-shirt he quite likes the look of.]
See, the trick to lifting is you have to make sure no one's looking. Or get someone innocent looking to do the dirty work for you.
It's risky, but it's better than buying. You pay for this shit, you're basically encouraging the labour of small, malnourished African kids who don't even have any fingers. I mean, I don't really care about them. But it's the people who do that go out of their way to pay for things made specifically by underpaid Africans. I think we all know I'm the one with the moral high ground here.
[He sticks out his lower lip thoughtfully, surveying his surroundings.] Hey. Would you mind turning that off a sec?
[The scene cuts to a bar. There are two Nathan's now. Both are looking grumpy and nursing a beer.]
You're just like him.
Fuck off. Just 'cause you are. I'm nothing like him.
Oh, yeah. 'Cause everyone just pulls those comparisons from nowhere. Why else do you think Mum kicked us out?
Because of her stupid boyfriend. Anyway, I'm making up with Dad. Just leave it, yeah?
One breakfast. You didn't even want that much.
What do you know? [Nathan looks at the camera, annoyed.] Will you turn that off?
[While Nathan and his clone are busy bitching, the camera crew go elsewhere. In other words, an NPC dark haired girl in her early twenties. The Nathans are at the other side of the bar and she spares them a disgusted glance.]
Him? He's crap. He lasted like five minutes. [She pulls a face, taking a sip from her drink.] And I'm pretty sure he gave me crabs.
[Back over to Nathan now, he's looking completely offended. Clone Nathan is mirroring his expression in the background.]
That little tart. I said we could have another go! I'll admit that was embarrassing, but I have really good recovery time.
And she must've caught crabs off someone else. I haven't had them the whole time I've been here. Okay, I won't lie and say I've never had them, but we all make mistakes, right?
She's full of shit, anyway. I'm a really good kisser.
He's right. I am. We gave it a go back there when we went to the toilet. But whatever. That's her loss. We might be going soon.
Hey, you guys are paying the tab right?
...that's a good point. Are you?
No.
[ooc: Cut, because wow, that got long. This is what I get for playing someone who'll play along. Italics is the narrator. Orange is clone Nathan. Pink is NPC girl.
ETA- And I meant to say. Post forward-dated to midnight.]