I have no shame
soooooo I had a lot of caffeine. which was a bad idea cuz i cant go out and party tonight to get rid of all the caffeine induced excess energy... so im stuck here. writing about it.
and what do i do when im on caffeine? rant. i rant about things that are crappy or pointless or both.
so here goes:
the 6th Harry Potter book.
JK Rowling, you had this coming... and totally brought it on yourself.
don't worry guys im not giving away the ending to this book, i havent had the patience to finish this piece of shit.
im about 200 pages in and nothing has happened... there are some books that are only 200 pages long or less, and have a good plot and a whole lot of substance. but this book is over 600 pages and has no substance to it whatsoever and i havent found a plot yet. and its pretty much a kids book. now, let me count the number of children i know that can read 600 pages in less than 2 years..... uhm.... none. they'd get bored. like me.
and some of you might be thinking "but anne, it isnt JUST a kids book..." well i hate to break the news to you guys, but its written so bad that the only kind of person who couldnt point out major flaws and would love it unconditionally would be a child. not only that, but sometimes i get the feeling that she's trying to give kids a vocabulary lesson. why? because she uses words like sardonically and uhm.. there were others... but sardonically means the same thing as sarcastically (basically). but its not as common of a word. so why use it? kids dont know that kinda shit. at least they'll learn how to use a dictionary since their parents are too stupid to tell them what the word means.. i could give more examples, but im really lazy. i'll get to it later.
another thing. the editing is really poor. now, im not an english major (what a boring thing to major in) but im pretty good with english. cuz..you know.. i speak it. and there are some really big obvious errors that were never corrected. like when she used "was" instead of "were" and "were" instead of "we're"... i think a 6th grader could have picked those up...
you know what else bothers me? these all powerful adults treat harry like a king and tell him all their secrets just because his parents died. why the hell would you tell a 16 year old kid that attends high school all the things you dont want the opposite team knowing? because harry tells his lame friends everything.. and who knows if theyre trustworthy or not..but it just takes one of them to blab..(i personally would sell allllll the info to the other side and move across the world to live on some pretty island and not worry about the wizards ever again) but to blab, i put my money on ron. he's a total pussy.
speaking of pussies.. malfoy was a total pussy. and now hes all badass? wtf? he went from some wimp only talking big and not noticing when ron and harry impersonated his fat friends, to discovering harry under his invisibility cloak when there wasnt any hard evidence pointing out that harry was present. wtf? can you just improve your perceptive skills like that?
and harry is dumbledore's favorite student. but they both bitch about the new teacher picking favorites... bit hypocritical dont you think?
and you know what else? harry thinks so highly of himself and everyone thinks he is such a great wizard, but everything he has done was sheer dumb luck...and in the case of fighting off those dementors in the third book, breaking every law of science and reason. you cant sit in the present and see your future self in the present create something you were never successful with before, and then become the future version and be able to create it because you saw your future self do it while you were in the past and almost unconscious... does that even make sense? because thats what happened. and no one questioned it because they were too dazed wondering how harry could be alive after being attacked by so many dementors and no one being around to save him and no one knowing exactly where he ran off to. and then when they found him, they would have to go get help, or send up a signal, and by the time help arrived he should have been dead because everyone that was in the group got injured so they couldnt carry him AND Sirius...
but anyway.. harry cheats at things. he doesnt achieve anything for himself, its all handed to him. he is famous because of his parents, he is able to stop horrible things from happening in the nick of time because he has this smart bitch friend who figures it all out for him.. you know what i want to see? i want to see what happens when harry arrives 5 minutes too late. and if he is dealing with death eaters, his arrival time shouldnt matter because the WORST CURSE EVER doesnt have a countercurse and kills everyone who is touched by it. so its kinda convenient for the good guys that the bad guys dont like killing everyone right away now isnt it? and its convenient for harry because he can bust in at the right time to feel totally helpless and be tortured for a couple minutes until someone much older or smarter comes along to save his sorry ass. if i were dumbledore, i would hate this kid. he bales him out of everything.
you know, when i was in 6th grade, for homework in my english class, we had to write a book. and when you're in 6th grade, you write about fun things and make it simple to understand, and the hero always knows whats right and always gets through it and there is always a moral. i remember some of the books from that class. all the ones i can remember are 4 million times better than the 6th harry potter book... maybe its because we arent british....and we were explained what a plot was before picking up our pens..
I think there are morals in harry potter. really, there are. the main one i get is "be a complete moron, feed off the smart ones, take credit for what other people do, cheat as much as possible, and you will be pushed to the top of society's social ladder."
now, ive heard that JK Rowling really did a number on the ending to this one, havent gotten there yet, but its what im told. now, here is what jesse and i think:
JK Rowling has writer's block and she knows the next one is going to suck so she's dropping the bomb and then heading for mexico to hide from the angry fans once they realize what she's up to and how much she sucks at life.
my solution: travel to mexico, find the bitch, stone her, and then I will write the 7th book. what qualifies me to write the 7th book you ask? i wrote something twice as good in 6th grade. and my english skills have improved greatly since then. so how do i NOT qualify?
to-do list:
stone her, me write 7th book.
OH! and ANOTHER thing. she killed sirius. my favorite character. he was my favorite because he broke out of azkaban all on his own and didnt need anyone to help him. he then returned to save harry's life even though he had never met harry and didnt owe him anything especially since he was thrown into prison on harry's behalf. what a nice guy.
and why didnt dumbledore ever mention to harry that he had a psychotic imprisoned murder as a godfather? he tells harry everything else. even what color his toenails are and what kind of shampoo/conditioner he uses. and why werent sirius's godfather papers or whatever revoked after he was accused of killing harry's parents? and since harry's parents died, and no one said he couldnt be harry's guardian, why didnt harry grow up in azkaban with sirius since the dursley's were never named his guardians by harry's parents?
did anyone else think about that one?
i know you guys are going to give me some reason as to why guardianship would have been passed on to the dursley's, but i really dont care because it was never mentioned in the book. what was mentioned however, was the fact that Hagrid spoke to sirius before he brought baby harry to the dursley's. why didnt sirius take harry from hagrid? or at least point out that he should take harry since he is the godfather.
and one last thing. i only read all the other books once or twice. but she expects me to remember every little detail in the last books. i dont even remember MAJOR details, so how can i remember the minor ones? i mean fuck, i cant even remember what happened to that one Umbridge lady they keep mentioning. probably cuz the 5th book sucked so bad i dont ever want to lay eyes on it again.
this is all a bunch of crap.
when i finish reading it, i will continue this rant.
and what do i do when im on caffeine? rant. i rant about things that are crappy or pointless or both.
so here goes:
the 6th Harry Potter book.
JK Rowling, you had this coming... and totally brought it on yourself.
don't worry guys im not giving away the ending to this book, i havent had the patience to finish this piece of shit.
im about 200 pages in and nothing has happened... there are some books that are only 200 pages long or less, and have a good plot and a whole lot of substance. but this book is over 600 pages and has no substance to it whatsoever and i havent found a plot yet. and its pretty much a kids book. now, let me count the number of children i know that can read 600 pages in less than 2 years..... uhm.... none. they'd get bored. like me.
and some of you might be thinking "but anne, it isnt JUST a kids book..." well i hate to break the news to you guys, but its written so bad that the only kind of person who couldnt point out major flaws and would love it unconditionally would be a child. not only that, but sometimes i get the feeling that she's trying to give kids a vocabulary lesson. why? because she uses words like sardonically and uhm.. there were others... but sardonically means the same thing as sarcastically (basically). but its not as common of a word. so why use it? kids dont know that kinda shit. at least they'll learn how to use a dictionary since their parents are too stupid to tell them what the word means.. i could give more examples, but im really lazy. i'll get to it later.
another thing. the editing is really poor. now, im not an english major (what a boring thing to major in) but im pretty good with english. cuz..you know.. i speak it. and there are some really big obvious errors that were never corrected. like when she used "was" instead of "were" and "were" instead of "we're"... i think a 6th grader could have picked those up...
you know what else bothers me? these all powerful adults treat harry like a king and tell him all their secrets just because his parents died. why the hell would you tell a 16 year old kid that attends high school all the things you dont want the opposite team knowing? because harry tells his lame friends everything.. and who knows if theyre trustworthy or not..but it just takes one of them to blab..(i personally would sell allllll the info to the other side and move across the world to live on some pretty island and not worry about the wizards ever again) but to blab, i put my money on ron. he's a total pussy.
speaking of pussies.. malfoy was a total pussy. and now hes all badass? wtf? he went from some wimp only talking big and not noticing when ron and harry impersonated his fat friends, to discovering harry under his invisibility cloak when there wasnt any hard evidence pointing out that harry was present. wtf? can you just improve your perceptive skills like that?
and harry is dumbledore's favorite student. but they both bitch about the new teacher picking favorites... bit hypocritical dont you think?
and you know what else? harry thinks so highly of himself and everyone thinks he is such a great wizard, but everything he has done was sheer dumb luck...and in the case of fighting off those dementors in the third book, breaking every law of science and reason. you cant sit in the present and see your future self in the present create something you were never successful with before, and then become the future version and be able to create it because you saw your future self do it while you were in the past and almost unconscious... does that even make sense? because thats what happened. and no one questioned it because they were too dazed wondering how harry could be alive after being attacked by so many dementors and no one being around to save him and no one knowing exactly where he ran off to. and then when they found him, they would have to go get help, or send up a signal, and by the time help arrived he should have been dead because everyone that was in the group got injured so they couldnt carry him AND Sirius...
but anyway.. harry cheats at things. he doesnt achieve anything for himself, its all handed to him. he is famous because of his parents, he is able to stop horrible things from happening in the nick of time because he has this smart bitch friend who figures it all out for him.. you know what i want to see? i want to see what happens when harry arrives 5 minutes too late. and if he is dealing with death eaters, his arrival time shouldnt matter because the WORST CURSE EVER doesnt have a countercurse and kills everyone who is touched by it. so its kinda convenient for the good guys that the bad guys dont like killing everyone right away now isnt it? and its convenient for harry because he can bust in at the right time to feel totally helpless and be tortured for a couple minutes until someone much older or smarter comes along to save his sorry ass. if i were dumbledore, i would hate this kid. he bales him out of everything.
you know, when i was in 6th grade, for homework in my english class, we had to write a book. and when you're in 6th grade, you write about fun things and make it simple to understand, and the hero always knows whats right and always gets through it and there is always a moral. i remember some of the books from that class. all the ones i can remember are 4 million times better than the 6th harry potter book... maybe its because we arent british....and we were explained what a plot was before picking up our pens..
I think there are morals in harry potter. really, there are. the main one i get is "be a complete moron, feed off the smart ones, take credit for what other people do, cheat as much as possible, and you will be pushed to the top of society's social ladder."
now, ive heard that JK Rowling really did a number on the ending to this one, havent gotten there yet, but its what im told. now, here is what jesse and i think:
JK Rowling has writer's block and she knows the next one is going to suck so she's dropping the bomb and then heading for mexico to hide from the angry fans once they realize what she's up to and how much she sucks at life.
my solution: travel to mexico, find the bitch, stone her, and then I will write the 7th book. what qualifies me to write the 7th book you ask? i wrote something twice as good in 6th grade. and my english skills have improved greatly since then. so how do i NOT qualify?
to-do list:
stone her, me write 7th book.
OH! and ANOTHER thing. she killed sirius. my favorite character. he was my favorite because he broke out of azkaban all on his own and didnt need anyone to help him. he then returned to save harry's life even though he had never met harry and didnt owe him anything especially since he was thrown into prison on harry's behalf. what a nice guy.
and why didnt dumbledore ever mention to harry that he had a psychotic imprisoned murder as a godfather? he tells harry everything else. even what color his toenails are and what kind of shampoo/conditioner he uses. and why werent sirius's godfather papers or whatever revoked after he was accused of killing harry's parents? and since harry's parents died, and no one said he couldnt be harry's guardian, why didnt harry grow up in azkaban with sirius since the dursley's were never named his guardians by harry's parents?
did anyone else think about that one?
i know you guys are going to give me some reason as to why guardianship would have been passed on to the dursley's, but i really dont care because it was never mentioned in the book. what was mentioned however, was the fact that Hagrid spoke to sirius before he brought baby harry to the dursley's. why didnt sirius take harry from hagrid? or at least point out that he should take harry since he is the godfather.
and one last thing. i only read all the other books once or twice. but she expects me to remember every little detail in the last books. i dont even remember MAJOR details, so how can i remember the minor ones? i mean fuck, i cant even remember what happened to that one Umbridge lady they keep mentioning. probably cuz the 5th book sucked so bad i dont ever want to lay eyes on it again.
this is all a bunch of crap.
when i finish reading it, i will continue this rant.