it's never over
the mind is fluid.
the heart contemplative.
the soul one moment in a fury, the next in a helpless but hopeful pile of quietude.
these days i am feeling windy, gusty, and windblown.
i am the kicking screaming child throwing a temper tantrum in the check-out line at your grocery store. some things i refuse over and over, though i deep down know them to be true. recently i have been refusing love, compliments, and praise. how am i to believe the love, compliments and praise i give others when i cannot accept them myself? what good is self-defeat? are we not made to show one another love? to reveal God in each other, to one another?
work goes in cycles of love and hate. i feel unappreciated sometimes because i work very hard, it's just my personal work ethic, but i find others do not live by the exact same ethics. so sometimes i do a lot of hard work and the next time i come in, it seems to have been completely undone and destroyed even more. i wonder why some of us work so hard and others seem not to care. in the least.
all of us are hurt.
and seeking.
we all come from Love.
we're searching.
oh, i remember. the lesson that is quietly echoing in my ears today, and yesterday, is the lesson that has been beating me over the head last week. it's not being violent, but stubborn, because the lesson presented itself to me two weeks ago and i heard it. i said, "yes, yes" and nodded with agreement, a frown line between my brows to prove seriousness. but i did not heed! the lesson said, "sit. breathe. contemplate. don't speak, just listen. be still. be silent."
here it is again, every day, in different forms.
meditation is how we find God. meditation is consistently in every religion, whether it's about emptying or filling, we are asking for peace. for Love.
so now i feel: ah, ok. i remember. i know what to do. i know, as mary oliver says, how to be "idle" and "blessed". and these are the things of meditation.
saw a guy play his guitar friday night. he sang jeff buckley's "lover, you should've come over" and that song is enough to bring any one to their knees. this guy pulled it off flawlessly. wow. but i guess it's jeff buckley who deserves all the credit, and he does. that song is probably the definition of and the very reason the term "heart wrenching" was created.
the heart contemplative.
the soul one moment in a fury, the next in a helpless but hopeful pile of quietude.
these days i am feeling windy, gusty, and windblown.
i am the kicking screaming child throwing a temper tantrum in the check-out line at your grocery store. some things i refuse over and over, though i deep down know them to be true. recently i have been refusing love, compliments, and praise. how am i to believe the love, compliments and praise i give others when i cannot accept them myself? what good is self-defeat? are we not made to show one another love? to reveal God in each other, to one another?
work goes in cycles of love and hate. i feel unappreciated sometimes because i work very hard, it's just my personal work ethic, but i find others do not live by the exact same ethics. so sometimes i do a lot of hard work and the next time i come in, it seems to have been completely undone and destroyed even more. i wonder why some of us work so hard and others seem not to care. in the least.
all of us are hurt.
and seeking.
we all come from Love.
we're searching.
oh, i remember. the lesson that is quietly echoing in my ears today, and yesterday, is the lesson that has been beating me over the head last week. it's not being violent, but stubborn, because the lesson presented itself to me two weeks ago and i heard it. i said, "yes, yes" and nodded with agreement, a frown line between my brows to prove seriousness. but i did not heed! the lesson said, "sit. breathe. contemplate. don't speak, just listen. be still. be silent."
here it is again, every day, in different forms.
meditation is how we find God. meditation is consistently in every religion, whether it's about emptying or filling, we are asking for peace. for Love.
so now i feel: ah, ok. i remember. i know what to do. i know, as mary oliver says, how to be "idle" and "blessed". and these are the things of meditation.
saw a guy play his guitar friday night. he sang jeff buckley's "lover, you should've come over" and that song is enough to bring any one to their knees. this guy pulled it off flawlessly. wow. but i guess it's jeff buckley who deserves all the credit, and he does. that song is probably the definition of and the very reason the term "heart wrenching" was created.