like a lost balloon

[immortalize]

i am out of my mind sometimes, truly.
i don't know what's going on. i don't know what i'm doing. i don't know what i'm refusing to be honest with myself about. i don't know where this life is going.
right now, i'm dwelling in a land of question mark mountains and confusion clouds.
when in doubt, do nothing keeps echoing in my mind. just wait things out, right? just hold on, when you can't hold on, just hold on. just sit. be still. there is calm inside.
no need to try to "figure" things "out". what's that mean, any way?
"figure things out"? why not in? why the figuring?
i've been away much too long.
i'm living a life that is mostly real, some parts partly forced. maybe nonchalantly looked over. for instance, the fact that i am indeed young. so young. and just getting the hang of being alone and loving the solitude.
oh, i don't know.
tonight's lonliness will be good.
tomorrow night's visiting with brothers will be good.
i know the fretting only spins my mind in circles.
i know answers lay in waiting. literally. just waiting.
i've got things to do, you know.