bursting at the seams from absorbing every thing
yesterday was challenging of sorts.
when you work in a close knit environment, where we're all calling orders and constantly working as a body instead of individually, the mood can shift. we say "who brought the funk?" b/c all the sudden the wind's changed and we're all touchy and brooding. it was probably the weather yesterday. raining, or fizzing as jamie said. not quite raining, what a tease. work ended, though. and is soon to start again.
i like being up this early, but i haven't had enough sleep.
i say to scott, "i guess we have to figure out how to communicate in our sleep" b/c we are the reason we haven't been getting sleep this week. we hang out and end up talking for hours, long past the time we meant to say goodbye. i'm blessed to have found a good friend in scott, his intellectual energy keeps up with my mind, and he's encouraging to my ideas and the voicing of said ideas, which is new. he sees in me the things of which i am most proud and simulatenously the things which i protect the most.
and he's a challenge.
for the first time in making a new friend, it's entirely platonic. not even hints of or intentions for something more. we are attracted to one another i'm sure, especially after all the mind stretching we do to accomodate each other's imaginations, but it's never mentioned b/c the friendship is better than the thought of being physical. it's incredible, new, and i like it.
i like learning who i am alone.
i've been in relationships for most of the past five years, and i'm alone now. i'm learning so much about myself. i'm growing at the speed of light. my vocabulary is better. i'm a student to all and every thing in life, soaking it all up, bursting at the seams, from absorbing every thing.
for the first time in what seems like forever, i feel wide eyed and alive.
and i do miss you.
i am hurt right now and i'm working on mending my little heart without using bricks. just string, b/c i'll love again and i want to be soft for that. right now i'm allowed to have walls, though. and there's a certain balance with walls, anyhow.
and a certain balance with every thing. hence the struggles with ourselves, to find the equilibrium and stay on the rope, trembling ever slightly.
when you work in a close knit environment, where we're all calling orders and constantly working as a body instead of individually, the mood can shift. we say "who brought the funk?" b/c all the sudden the wind's changed and we're all touchy and brooding. it was probably the weather yesterday. raining, or fizzing as jamie said. not quite raining, what a tease. work ended, though. and is soon to start again.
i like being up this early, but i haven't had enough sleep.
i say to scott, "i guess we have to figure out how to communicate in our sleep" b/c we are the reason we haven't been getting sleep this week. we hang out and end up talking for hours, long past the time we meant to say goodbye. i'm blessed to have found a good friend in scott, his intellectual energy keeps up with my mind, and he's encouraging to my ideas and the voicing of said ideas, which is new. he sees in me the things of which i am most proud and simulatenously the things which i protect the most.
and he's a challenge.
for the first time in making a new friend, it's entirely platonic. not even hints of or intentions for something more. we are attracted to one another i'm sure, especially after all the mind stretching we do to accomodate each other's imaginations, but it's never mentioned b/c the friendship is better than the thought of being physical. it's incredible, new, and i like it.
i like learning who i am alone.
i've been in relationships for most of the past five years, and i'm alone now. i'm learning so much about myself. i'm growing at the speed of light. my vocabulary is better. i'm a student to all and every thing in life, soaking it all up, bursting at the seams, from absorbing every thing.
for the first time in what seems like forever, i feel wide eyed and alive.
and i do miss you.
i am hurt right now and i'm working on mending my little heart without using bricks. just string, b/c i'll love again and i want to be soft for that. right now i'm allowed to have walls, though. and there's a certain balance with walls, anyhow.
and a certain balance with every thing. hence the struggles with ourselves, to find the equilibrium and stay on the rope, trembling ever slightly.