Tuesday, wasn't it named after Mars, and Mars embodies the God of War, right?
Well, I think I understand why now.
Mom yelled at me for "crossing the line" by talking to Mrs.Flor about my personal life. Uh, hellloooo, she /is/ a guidance counceler and the only reason I go to her is to talk about my personal life.
Anthony sat by me on the couch today while I was watching legend of the Seeker. Arrogant if you ask me. Can't he see that my aura/energy turns mean and says "get away" when ever he comes near me? And now they want me to go and eat dinner with them. Oh, did I forget to mention that T brought Him BACK? BACK. Into my house. My life. My HOME. Obviously it doesn't feel like home anymore. When we he LEAVE?!
I cried today because of how sad I am that my mom's not married, doesn't have a bf, her friends moved away, she doesn't have a GED and isn't following her dreams. So I brought her the school magazine that talked about night classes and all that. She yelled at me and said "Wtf would I need that."
I also got yelled at for talking about Amber in Mrs.Flors office. I mean, really, /yelled/ at. It felt like the ground was shaking.
Of course today I yelled too. I yelled about how I felt Anthony was violating my personal space, and that it was disrespectful of Tressa to bring him into our home without consulting us. I yelled about how disappointed I am that she doesn't love herself enough to see that she shouldn't settle for /something/ like that.
All this stress is breaking me out, which doesn't make me feel any better at all. I don't like wearing foundation, I really don't. I wish that I could move.
Maybe move in with Brandon, but he's living with his dad right now because of the economy. And he's moving out soon, but into a small apartment, so it's not like I'll have a room. I should've taken up his offer a long time ago, but I didn't want to abandon Amber, Andrew, or Mom. It feels as though Tressa's not even my sister. All she does is be physically home, on her days off, sometimes. But she's never here mentally. I also was afraid of living in the house where Angie killed herself.
Mom is talking about me with Tressa and Anthony. I wish they wouldn't grace their lips with my name. My name is a part of me, and for them to say it with vulgar emotion makes me wish I could stop them from saying it.
I don't like how Anthony's brought crap food into the house. I don't like how he bought dinner. Ever heard the song, "Can't buy me love"? Well make it "Can't buy my approval."
I really wish I was about to leave for college. But I'm afraid that if I leave, Amber and Andrew will be vunerable to his abusive habits and maybe even become obedient to his rule. Because obviously he's won everybody else over, besides Andrew. But Andrew is just an impressionable, young, six year old boy. He doens't have the best father figure and now his mother moved a woman-hitting man into the house.
Luckily, I'm my own person and don't follow orders. So, tomorrow I'm going to talk to Mrs.Flor.
Mom yelled at me for "crossing the line" by talking to Mrs.Flor about my personal life. Uh, hellloooo, she /is/ a guidance counceler and the only reason I go to her is to talk about my personal life.
Anthony sat by me on the couch today while I was watching legend of the Seeker. Arrogant if you ask me. Can't he see that my aura/energy turns mean and says "get away" when ever he comes near me? And now they want me to go and eat dinner with them. Oh, did I forget to mention that T brought Him BACK? BACK. Into my house. My life. My HOME. Obviously it doesn't feel like home anymore. When we he LEAVE?!
I cried today because of how sad I am that my mom's not married, doesn't have a bf, her friends moved away, she doesn't have a GED and isn't following her dreams. So I brought her the school magazine that talked about night classes and all that. She yelled at me and said "Wtf would I need that."
I also got yelled at for talking about Amber in Mrs.Flors office. I mean, really, /yelled/ at. It felt like the ground was shaking.
Of course today I yelled too. I yelled about how I felt Anthony was violating my personal space, and that it was disrespectful of Tressa to bring him into our home without consulting us. I yelled about how disappointed I am that she doesn't love herself enough to see that she shouldn't settle for /something/ like that.
All this stress is breaking me out, which doesn't make me feel any better at all. I don't like wearing foundation, I really don't. I wish that I could move.
Maybe move in with Brandon, but he's living with his dad right now because of the economy. And he's moving out soon, but into a small apartment, so it's not like I'll have a room. I should've taken up his offer a long time ago, but I didn't want to abandon Amber, Andrew, or Mom. It feels as though Tressa's not even my sister. All she does is be physically home, on her days off, sometimes. But she's never here mentally. I also was afraid of living in the house where Angie killed herself.
Mom is talking about me with Tressa and Anthony. I wish they wouldn't grace their lips with my name. My name is a part of me, and for them to say it with vulgar emotion makes me wish I could stop them from saying it.
I don't like how Anthony's brought crap food into the house. I don't like how he bought dinner. Ever heard the song, "Can't buy me love"? Well make it "Can't buy my approval."
I really wish I was about to leave for college. But I'm afraid that if I leave, Amber and Andrew will be vunerable to his abusive habits and maybe even become obedient to his rule. Because obviously he's won everybody else over, besides Andrew. But Andrew is just an impressionable, young, six year old boy. He doens't have the best father figure and now his mother moved a woman-hitting man into the house.
Luckily, I'm my own person and don't follow orders. So, tomorrow I'm going to talk to Mrs.Flor.