lol.. how cute
Sometimes I feel like screaming or asking when it won't hurt to breath, because a lot of the time it does. I mean there is just so much crap going on that I don't want to deal with and half of it is nonsense that nobody cares to understand, i mean i know it's an incredibly old subject seeing as how it happened like 3-4 weeks ago and people just can't learn to drop things and move on already. So basically people are hearing the same story over and over and over again... how boring.. But not a day goes by that I don't think about what happened and it still hurts just like it did then. Thinking of that brings back so much other crap, like all the times I stood by peoples side through thick and thin and still was treated like complete shit. I would basically sacrifice my own happiness just to make sure the ones who mattered to me had a good time.. but that didn't matter then.. and it doesn't now. I'm sick of walking on glass for everyone.. because why try to do something nice for someone else and not get anything in return. That shows selfishness like I clearly stated many times before. I guess she was right . . . ..my sister always told me that you start acting and becoming just like those you hang out with.. a total bitch..but I guess things happen for a reason.. and that was just basically an obstacle I had to overcome to grow into a stronger person, and since then I have. I mean, i have friends don't get me wrong, but how comes the ones I always trust most are never fucking there? I mean.. I will blame them because it's not my fault.. why do i always have to be asking for help.. you're suppose to be the "GREAT" friend.. puh-lease you're a fuckin' pathetic excuse for a friend... Why can't they just offer it sometimes? why do i always have to call them, why do i always have to be the one to set shit up? Nobody call me and just make sure i am okay when they fucking know somethings wrong? No, instead, they know something is wrong and expect me to call them if i need it. Why do i have to do everything for myself? Whatever I guess that isn't fair and I am sure in twenty minutes i'll be over it, but i've been thinking this for a while and i just don't really get it. Maybe i just don't see it. I am just sick of constantly having to try and make myself happy, i don't think it should be this hard. I understand that sometimes stuff happens and you need to get over it but every single time i am happy i just feel like i have to work my ass off for it. I love how my so-called-friends tell me how good of a friend I am one minute, and when something happens it's like they hated me for a liftetime and try to get everyone else involved .. by telling everyone else the story first.. it's no race.. I had no intentions on telling anyone.. not really all of my friends, just one in particular, but i better not say because we all know this conversation has happened before. oh how i love sarcasm. :) Oh well.. 6 weeks left and we're finally done.. that's less I have to hear bitchin and see bitches
~Ren
Besides Mir.. we have never gotten into a fight.. cause she's been TRUE to me for 12 years.. and many other friends just as long.. so I know there's nothing wrong with me.. I'm doing my share.. some people just don't put forth their half of a friendship.. which is why they never last.. You're a self-centered liar! it's no wonder every relationship you have falls apart. You know NOTHING about love. .. and have a very cruel heart! You're not forgiven and I don't know if you ever will..