Panic! At The Zoo
I honestly could not think of a better title, you guys. Forgive me. I was thinking, Hm, what would title a fic about Panic at the zoo. ...Oh that. I totally laughed for an entire minute even though I'm not sure why that's so funny.
Title: Panic! At the Zoo
Pairing; Brendon/Spencer, if you squint
Rating: G
Author's Notes: ~800 words. Short and sweet. This is sillysillysilly. Don't take this seriously. Like, at all. Exactly what the title implies. Written for x_smartie because she requested this and not only was this due a very long time ago, it's entirely too short. Thanks to periculosa for beta-ing.
They go into the zoo because they pass it while they’re walking around aimlessly to kill time and Brendon latches onto the gate and refuses to let go. Zack tries prying him off, but to no avail. Brendon can be really determined when he wants to be. Zack shrugs helplessly at the other guys and they shrug back.
“The koalas are calling me anyway,” Jon says as he enters the zoo behind Brendon.
“Psh, they don’t have a call,” Ryan says, and then, after a beat, “do they?”
No one responds. Entrance into the zoo is free and the first animals they see are sea lions. Brendon attaches himself to the side of the pool, but Ryan and Jon quickly get bored of the tricks and wander off. Zack is torn between staying with Brendon and Spencer and going after the other two. He sets off after Ryan and Jon when he sees them heading toward the petting area of the zoo, afraid a poor goat will accidentally nip Ryan finger and he’d face charges because Ryan kicked it or something (it’s not an irrational fear, it’s happened before, and Zack barely got them out of that one). He shouts over his shoulder, “Spencer! Make sure Brendon doesn’t fall in and drown or anything!”
Spencer only just realizes that more than half his company is gone and doesn’t have time to protest before they’ve disappeared behind the reptile house. Spencer lets his outstretched hand fall and sighs. He turns back to the sea lions only to discover that Brendon is missing.
“Oh fuck,” Spencer mutters under his breath. He wonders if he’ll need to find the head of the zoo and ask over the PA system for Brendon Urie to please come to the main’s office. Spencer wonders if zoos even have PA systems. Before he can start speculating about where the speakers would be placed, Brendon startles him from behind, ice cream cone in hand. Really, only the ice cream cone, with no actual ice cream.
“Where’d the ice cream go?” Spencer asks. “Wait, wait, where’d you even get an ice cream cone?”
Brendon flicks his thumb over his right shoulder, and, sure enough, there’s a trolley selling ice cream.
“I forgot my wallet in my other jeans, but the guy gave me a free ice cream cone!” Brendon says, grinning. “Want half?”
Spencer shakes his head no and contemplates telling him that he could have asked him for money.
“Oooh, reptiles!” Brendon exclaims, and he’s already bouncing toward the building, ice cream cone forgotten at Spencer’s feet. He looks down at the cone, picks it up and throws it into the trash bin before following Brendon into the building.
* * *
“I wanna swim with him,” Brendon says, eyes wide and dreamy as he gazes at the polar bear swirling around behind the glass.
“Um, the water’s probably freezing. And he’ll eat you.”
Spencer cringes when Brendon lets out an exaggerated gasp. “You’re such a liar, Spencer Smith. He‘s not gonna eat me.”
The polar bear places a heavy paw on the thick glass and nudges it with his nose. Brendon puts his own hand on the glass, right where the bear’s paw is held against, face plastered to the transparent surface.
“Look at it.” Brendon’s voice is muffled. “It loves me.”
Brendon detaches his face from the glass, pauses, and then exhales on the glass. He quickly draws a heart and beams, even after it fades away.
“Come on, lovebird,” Spencer says. Gripping Brendon’s sleeve with his fist and pulling him away from the glass. “Let’s find Jon and Ryan.”
Brendon wants to protest, but Spencer’s stronger than he is and could probably throw him over his shoulder and carry him out, if he wanted to. And Spencer’s stretching his new shirt from tugging on it so much, anyway. He presses one wet kiss to the glass, right where the bear’s nosing it, and lets himself be dragged out of the area.
* * *
“What happened to you?” Spencer asks when he and Brendon finally meet up with the rest of the group. Both Ryan and Zack have hay on their hair and clothes. Ryan only scoffs.
“Ryan had a fight with an angry mother goat,” Jon says coolly. He is perfectly clean.
Zack sighs. He‘s just glad Brendon and Spencer haven‘t been eaten by polar bears or anything. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Oh, I heard there’s a carnival in the park nearby,” Brendon says excitedly. Ryan scoffs again. “Who were you talking to? Seven year olds?”
Brendon shakes his head. “No, I’m pretty sure they were at least twelve.”
With that, Brendon turns sharply and heads back toward the exit. Everyone else follows behind, Ryan and Jon bickering loudly. Spencer hopes he’ll be relatively clean by the end of the day, because god knows how Brendon managed to stick cotton candy in his hair the last time they went to a carnival.
Title: Panic! At the Zoo
Pairing; Brendon/Spencer, if you squint
Rating: G
Author's Notes: ~800 words. Short and sweet. This is sillysillysilly. Don't take this seriously. Like, at all. Exactly what the title implies. Written for x_smartie because she requested this and not only was this due a very long time ago, it's entirely too short. Thanks to periculosa for beta-ing.
They go into the zoo because they pass it while they’re walking around aimlessly to kill time and Brendon latches onto the gate and refuses to let go. Zack tries prying him off, but to no avail. Brendon can be really determined when he wants to be. Zack shrugs helplessly at the other guys and they shrug back.
“The koalas are calling me anyway,” Jon says as he enters the zoo behind Brendon.
“Psh, they don’t have a call,” Ryan says, and then, after a beat, “do they?”
No one responds. Entrance into the zoo is free and the first animals they see are sea lions. Brendon attaches himself to the side of the pool, but Ryan and Jon quickly get bored of the tricks and wander off. Zack is torn between staying with Brendon and Spencer and going after the other two. He sets off after Ryan and Jon when he sees them heading toward the petting area of the zoo, afraid a poor goat will accidentally nip Ryan finger and he’d face charges because Ryan kicked it or something (it’s not an irrational fear, it’s happened before, and Zack barely got them out of that one). He shouts over his shoulder, “Spencer! Make sure Brendon doesn’t fall in and drown or anything!”
Spencer only just realizes that more than half his company is gone and doesn’t have time to protest before they’ve disappeared behind the reptile house. Spencer lets his outstretched hand fall and sighs. He turns back to the sea lions only to discover that Brendon is missing.
“Oh fuck,” Spencer mutters under his breath. He wonders if he’ll need to find the head of the zoo and ask over the PA system for Brendon Urie to please come to the main’s office. Spencer wonders if zoos even have PA systems. Before he can start speculating about where the speakers would be placed, Brendon startles him from behind, ice cream cone in hand. Really, only the ice cream cone, with no actual ice cream.
“Where’d the ice cream go?” Spencer asks. “Wait, wait, where’d you even get an ice cream cone?”
Brendon flicks his thumb over his right shoulder, and, sure enough, there’s a trolley selling ice cream.
“I forgot my wallet in my other jeans, but the guy gave me a free ice cream cone!” Brendon says, grinning. “Want half?”
Spencer shakes his head no and contemplates telling him that he could have asked him for money.
“Oooh, reptiles!” Brendon exclaims, and he’s already bouncing toward the building, ice cream cone forgotten at Spencer’s feet. He looks down at the cone, picks it up and throws it into the trash bin before following Brendon into the building.
* * *
“I wanna swim with him,” Brendon says, eyes wide and dreamy as he gazes at the polar bear swirling around behind the glass.
“Um, the water’s probably freezing. And he’ll eat you.”
Spencer cringes when Brendon lets out an exaggerated gasp. “You’re such a liar, Spencer Smith. He‘s not gonna eat me.”
The polar bear places a heavy paw on the thick glass and nudges it with his nose. Brendon puts his own hand on the glass, right where the bear’s paw is held against, face plastered to the transparent surface.
“Look at it.” Brendon’s voice is muffled. “It loves me.”
Brendon detaches his face from the glass, pauses, and then exhales on the glass. He quickly draws a heart and beams, even after it fades away.
“Come on, lovebird,” Spencer says. Gripping Brendon’s sleeve with his fist and pulling him away from the glass. “Let’s find Jon and Ryan.”
Brendon wants to protest, but Spencer’s stronger than he is and could probably throw him over his shoulder and carry him out, if he wanted to. And Spencer’s stretching his new shirt from tugging on it so much, anyway. He presses one wet kiss to the glass, right where the bear’s nosing it, and lets himself be dragged out of the area.
* * *
“What happened to you?” Spencer asks when he and Brendon finally meet up with the rest of the group. Both Ryan and Zack have hay on their hair and clothes. Ryan only scoffs.
“Ryan had a fight with an angry mother goat,” Jon says coolly. He is perfectly clean.
Zack sighs. He‘s just glad Brendon and Spencer haven‘t been eaten by polar bears or anything. “Let’s get out of here.”
“Oh, I heard there’s a carnival in the park nearby,” Brendon says excitedly. Ryan scoffs again. “Who were you talking to? Seven year olds?”
Brendon shakes his head. “No, I’m pretty sure they were at least twelve.”
With that, Brendon turns sharply and heads back toward the exit. Everyone else follows behind, Ryan and Jon bickering loudly. Spencer hopes he’ll be relatively clean by the end of the day, because god knows how Brendon managed to stick cotton candy in his hair the last time they went to a carnival.