Fic: End The Exiled And Unraveling Strangeness
Title: End The Exiled And Unraveling Strangeness
Author: immortal_lights
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: NC-17 (for sex)
Word Count: ~10,000
Summary: Castiel learns how to be human. Then Dean and him learn how to be normal.
Notes: This fic goes AU after 5x18. Title from Home by Bruce Weigl. Thanks goes out to drown_thecity for being an awesome beta! This is a looong overdue fic for help_haiti. Written for tangodoodles. She asked for fluffy domestic fic, and I gave her that, in addition to an entire backstory. Oops. I hope you enjoy it!
After, there is an abrupt, jarring quiet penetrated only by Dean’s harsh breathing and the howl of the wind through the still battlefield. His sudden perception of the bitter cold biting at his skin and the pain thrumming through his entire body brings him to his knees with a gasp. The last thing he remembers is the feel of the dirt soaked with blood beneath his palms and a sense of finality and peace settling in his bones.
~~~
When Dean wakes up, Castiel is methodically wiping a wet cloth against Dean’s forehead. Absently, Dean notices how vulnerably human the gesture is. “Hey,” Dean croaks. When he tries to sit up, a line of fire shoots down his side and his vision blurs.
“Stay still, Dean. You have been gravely injured,” Castiel says as he gently lays Dean’s head back down. Dean gasps in pain and chokes on the dryness in his throat, blinking his eyes until Castiel’s face comes back into focus.
“Eh, it can’t be that bad if I can still talk,” Dean says with a weak grin. He glances around the nondescript motel room and realizes that they’re alone.
“Where’s Sam?” Dean asks, panic edging into his voice.
“He’s in the bathroom, Dean. Don‘t worry.” Castiel nods toward the closed bathroom door. The sound of the shower is barely there, but still present.
“Is Lucifer dead? Once and for all?” Lucifer looked pretty dead before Dean passed out, but he can never be too sure when it comes to the supernatural.
“Lucifer has been defeated.” Even now, Castiel’s face is serious, and Dean can’t help but toss his head back and laugh. His laugh is hysterical and shakes his entire body. He can’t stop even though he’s sore all over, and Castiel scrunches his face in confusion for a few seconds before he reluctantly smiles at Dean’s outburst.
“Lighten up, Cas! The apocalypse has been stopped, I killed the devil, and we’re not dead!” Dean wants to run a victory lap and throw confetti in the air. He wants to go out on the town, and have thank-god-I’m alive sex. Dean settles for whooping. “Holy shit, I killed the devil!”
“Yes, you did,” Castiel says quietly. When Dean looks at him, he has on a shy, pleased smile, and all Dean wants to do is kiss him until he can’t breathe. So he does. He pulls Castiel down by the lapels of his trench coat and crushes his mouth against his. He is unyielding at first, but Dean is nothing if not persistent. Castiel doesn’t kiss back, but he relaxes and lets Dean run his tongue along his lips and between them. When Dean finally releases Castiel’s coat, he is breathing hard and Castiel stares at him in shock for a moment before disappearing.
“Sonuvabitch,” Dean mutters as he lets his eyes flutter shut.
~~~
After a lot of manly hugging and cheering still fraught with disbelief, Sam and Dean patch each other up and drive to the nearest bar to celebrate. They decide to remain in the motel for a couple more days to recuperate and nurse their hangovers.
For the first time in his life, Dean doesn’t feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. He feels free of responsibility and blame. At the same time, he feels like he’s stuck in a limbo. He’s been trying to stop the oncoming apocalypse for so long, Dean’s not sure what to do now that that’s done.
Castiel returns a few days after he left. Dean hears him before he sees him. There’s a sudden, heavy thud on the floor next to his bed, and Dean’s already grabbed the knife underneath his pillow and kicked aside the covers by the time he sees the familiar frame of Castiel on the floor. He's hunched over, head down and arms wrapped around his sides. Dean immediately lets go of the knife and drops down on the floor next to Castiel. Castiel looks up, and Dean is taken back by the look of pure terror and agony on his face. Gasps and tremors wrack Castiel’s body, and Dean grips his shoulders in an attempt to still them as Castiel drops his head against Dean’s shoulder.
“Hey, Cas, hey. What happened? What’s wrong?” Dean says as he tries to get Castiel to look him in the eyes. By now, Sam’s crouched down next to them, forehead creased with concern. “Talk to me.”
When Castiel finally looks up, there’s light emitting from his eyes and mouth. “Oh, no, no, no, no. This is not good. What’s going on, Cas? Come on, talk to me!”
“Dean, Sam, close your eyes. Close your eyes now,” Castiel says through clenched teeth as the light grows brighter. Dean is torn between watching what happens next and doing as Castiel says. Castiel decides for him by pulling Dean to him and cradling his head against his chest. The only thing Dean can do is wrap his arms around Castiel and hold on tight.
Eventually, Castiel slumps against Dean, and for a few terrifying seconds, Dean thinks he's dead.
“What do we do now?” Sam asks.
“We should stay here for a bit to make sure Cas is fine. Then we do what we always do. Keep hunting.”
Sam frowns, but doesn’t say anything.
~~~
When Castiel gasps awake, Dean’s already paced the room for an hour while Sam sits on the other bed, looking for any sign of consciousness. Dean almost trips over himself rushing to Castiel’s side. “Hey, Cas. Are you feeling okay?”
“I have lost my grace,” Castiel says without preamble, despair obvious on his face and in his voice. Dean’s breath catches and he’s suddenly overrun with horror and disbelief that quickly turns into rage.
“You help us kill the devil and this is how you’re repaid?” Dean spits out, hands clenched into fists and nose flaring. Castiel only looks on wearily as he slowly pushes himself into a sitting position.
“There is no longer any reason for the angels to stay. The angels have left Earth,” Castiel says quietly, and Dean hears, the angels have left me. Dean is suddenly struck by the image of the Castiel of 2014, the bitter and broken drug and sex addict. He realizes that his Castiel is getting just that much bit closer to becoming that person and he wants to do nothing but hide him from the big bad world.
“Hey, you still got us, right? You don’t need those dickheads,” Dean says with a fake confidence that he’s afraid even Castiel can see through. Castiel only bows his head. “Really, Cas, I’m glad you came back. I. I was afraid I’d scared you off or something.”
Castiel lifts his head and tilts it in confusion, and Dean almost laughs at how familiar the gesture is.
“I would have come back eventually. I just needed some time to think. Unfortunately, my time was cut short when the angels left.” Castiel pauses and looks away from Dean. “I shouldn’t have come here. I could’ve hurt both of you. I…I did not want to be alone when I lost my grace.”
Dean is shocked by Castiel’s honesty, but knows that the confession reveals just how human Castiel was even in his last moments as an angel. “Hey, no. I-we’re glad you came here. That shit did not look like a lot of fun. You. You’ve got us now.”
The next moments are tense and quiet. Dean and Sam exchange questioning looks and shrugs while Castiel stares at his hands. Dean finally rolls his eyes and breaks the silence.
“Well, first things first. You are going to take a shower, my man.” Dean pauses. “You do know how to take a shower, right?”
“Yes, I know,” Castiel replies as he gingerly stands up. Dean starts to grab Castiel’s arm to help him up, but Castiel waves him off. Sam and Dean sit in silence and watch as Castiel closes the bathroom door behind him. Soon, they hear the sound of the shower and then a yelp. Dean starts and glances at Sam, who's staring back at him.
“Well, I’m not going in there,” Dean huffs, crossing his arms.
Sam rolls his eyes and gets up to knock on the bathroom door. “Cas, you okay in there?”
Sam reels back a little when the door suddenly opens and Castiel appears in the doorway. Dean’s breath catches when he catches a glimpse of Castiel’s naked body and he looks away quickly. “Yes, I’m fine. I did not expect the shower to be so cold when I turned it on.”
“Oh yeah, um, test the water with your hand before getting in,” Sam says, pointedly looking at Castiel’s face only. Castiel nods and closes the door. Sam stares at the closed door for moment before turning back to Dean. “This is gonna suck.”
Dean covers his face with his hands. “No shit, Sherlock.”
~~~
Dean feels like an older brother again. Sure, he’s still Sam’s older brother, but he knows Sam doesn’t need him like he used to. No, Dean feels like he did when he was thirteen, teaching Sammy how to hold a knife and load a gun. How to deal crippling blows and block punches. How to lie and cheat.
They start small, with disgruntled spirits and amateur witches, and don’t let Castiel do anything but watch for the first few weeks. Castiel is a fast learner, and it’s obvious that it’s due to his determination to be useful and not to be a burden.
It’s good to have a third man on the job again. They cover more ground, and life is just much less dangerous with one more person to back them up. It also means having one more person to worry about.
Dean would never admit it, but what scares him the most about Castiel being human is that Castiel sometimes forgets he’s no longer invincible.
Sometimes, Dean catches Castiel absentmindedly touching the car when it’s been in the sun for four hours or nicking himself on a blade. Shock and pain would flit across his face, quickly followed by frustration. In those moments, Dean wants to put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder or give him a reassuring look, but he only ever turns away.
~~~
Two weeks after his fall, Castiel has his first dream. Dean and Sam are already up when Castiel darts up in his bed, eyes wild and startled. “Dean,” Castiel chokes out.
Dean abandons the task of packing their bags in favor of rushing to Castiel’s side. “Hey, you okay?”
“You’re alive,” Castiel says in both relief and disbelief.
Dean quirks an eyebrow and glances at Sam, who just shrugs helplessly at him. “Course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I saw a vampire tear your neck apart. You were dead.” Castiel grabs Dean’s arms, as if to make sure he's real. “I thought you were dead.”
“Hey, it was just a dream. You were just dreaming,” Dean says gently, hands stroking Castiel’s hands. “ I ain’t going anywhere.”
~~~
In Mississippi, Dean wakes in the backseat of the Impala to techno music playing on the radio.
“What the fuck is that?” Dean contorts his face in revulsion.
Sam glances at the mirror and smirks at him. “Techno.”
“I enjoy this style of music. It is…entrancing,” Castiel informs him. Dean can see Castiel’s leg thumping against the car floor.
“Oh god, what have I done to deserve this?” Dean groans, burying his face in his hands.
~~~
In Minnesota, Dean is caught off guard by three demons in the parking lot of a diner. When he doesn’t return after half an hour, Sam calls Dean and gets his voice mail. The diner is a five minute walk from the motel, and when Sam gets there, he finds a full bag of food and Dean’s wallet abandoned in the parking lot.
It’s days like these that Sam thanks humanity for GPS.
By the time Sam and Castiel get to the decaying house Dean is holed up in, his chest is a gory mess and he shudders in pain with every breath. Sam and Castiel dispatch the demons with difficulty, but eventually untie Dean from the table and gingerly help him upright.
Even though it’s night, they’re still in the middle of a relatively busy town, so Sam and Castiel support Dean as they hurry out of the house and into the car. Castiel holds a steadily reddening towel to Dean chest as Sam speeds toward their motel and Dean winces with every bump in the road.
In their motel room, Sam patches Dean up while Castiel paces around them room, fuming. Dean watches Castiel warily as Sam wraps his chest in gauze.
“The sonuvabitches are dead now, Cas. What are you getting all worked up over?”
“I just-” Castiel starts to say, but cuts himself off, like his anger is jammed in his throat and won’t let his voice come through. Castiel growls in frustration before speaking again. “That should’ve never happened. I should’ve been able to get to you in a second and killed those demons without even trying.”
“Cas, that wasn’t your fault. If it was anyone’s, it was mine for letting them get the drop on me like that.”
“That’s not the point, Dean. I am-” Castiel sits down at the end of Dean’s bed and drops his face into his hands. “I am weak and powerless, Dean. I succumb to my desires and emotions so easily. I feel so small and insignificant.”
Dean and Sam are stunned into silence. Dean wishes he could say something to make it alright that Castiel used to be a powerful angel and is now slumming it with the humans, but he knows that there really anything that he can say that will.
“I’m going out,” Castiel mutters, getting to his feet and slamming the door behind him.
Sam sighs and says, “Let me get you some water and painkillers.”
Dean just nods, pulling himself into a sitting position with his pillow beneath his back. Sam riffles through his bag for the bottle of pills and tosses them over to Dean when he finds them. Sam starts toward the sink, but Dean’s already swallowed the painkillers dry, so he just settles down heavily on his bed. Dean is contemplating the merits of trying to reach the remote control when Sam speaks up.
“Hey, Dean. I’ve been thinking about something for a while.” Dean makes a noncommittal noise.
“Maybe it wouldn’t be such a crazy idea if we, y’know, settled down. Hear me out!” Sam says when Dean gives him a look of bewilderment and before Dean can start to protest. “You know how our story will end if we keep hunting. There’s almost no doubt that we will die early and violent deaths. Is it so bad for me to want something else?”
“We’re still alive, aren’t we? We do it because no one else does-”
Sam cuts him off. “Don’t pull that bullshit on me! It is not our responsibility!”
“It is, because we know what’s out there!” Dean shoots back.
“In case you haven’t noticed, we just survived the apocalypse! And we’re not the only ones! This entire world did! You think we’re the only ones who know what’s going on anymore?”
“We’re the only ones who know what we’re doing!”
“That’s not true and you know it! And you know what? You’re not Superman! One day, you will get hurt and you won’t be able to jump right back up. Then what am I left with?” Sam’s voice softens. “What is Cas left with?”
“Fuck this. This conversation is over.” Dean turns his head away from Sam and closes his eyes, lips pulled into a tight line and forehead tense.
“Dean. Come on.” Dean doesn’t move or speak, so Sam just huffs in exasperation and turns on his laptop.
When Castiel comes back into the room an hour later, he‘s holding a bag. He hands a strawberry milkshake to Sam, who nods at him, and offers a slice of cheesecake to Dean. Dean reaches for Castiel’s wrist instead and pulls him into a sitting position on the bed. Dean grabs the remote with some unease and turns on the television as Castiel kicks off his shoes and rests his legs on the bed. Dean opens the carton of cheesecake, digging a fork into the cake and offering it to Castiel. He holds back for a moment before wrapping his mouth around the fork. Dean’s heart jackhammers in his chest as Castiel licks the residue of cake off the fork. They finish the cheesecake together as they watch television. Dean is aware of the warmth from Castiel seeping against his side all night and tells himself he’s trembling because of the pain.
~~~
In Kentucky, Castiel asks Dean if he can drive. Dean laughs until Sam elbows him and he catches sight of Castiel’s serious face in the mirror.
“Dude, you don’t even know how to drive!” Dean exclaims.
“I’ve been observing your method and technique. I believe I understand how to drive.”
“That’s not the same thing!”
“No, but I have not had the chance to drive an actual car, and I am asking for that opportunity now.”
Dean glares at the rearview mirror, and Castiel gazes back unnervingly. Sam rolls his eyes. “Dude, just let him drive the car. He has to learn sometime.”
Dean and Castiel continue their staring contest for a minute, but Dean looks away first, wrenching open the car door and swearing, “Fucking fine. If you get even a scratch on her, I will end you.”
Dean thinks he sees Castiel smirk out of the corner of his eye, but he chooses to ignore it.
Castiel turns out to be a relatively good driver. He is meticulous and mechanical, which Dean isn‘t usually a fan of, but is okay with as long as his baby‘s okay. Dean is still on the verge of a panic attack the entire time Castiel is behind the wheel.
~~~
In Columbus, Montana, the Winchesters and Castiel investigate a sharp increase in drowning rates in Lake Helena.
Every witness has the same story. They see someone other than the victim splashing and panicking in the lake, and every time the victim swims over to help, both people in the lake disappear under water and never come back up.
When Sam and Castiel comes back from interviewing family members of the victims, Dean is lying on the vibrating bed with a look of bliss on his face. Sam pulls a face, and Castiel looks away.
“Can you get off that? We have work to do,” Sam scolds, pulling his tie off and tossing it at Dean. Dean holds up a finger, signaling for him to wait a moment. When the bed finally stops vibrating, Dean props himself up on the headboard and gives Sam a grin and a thumbs up. Castiel is red in the face.
“You okay there, Cas?” Dean asks. Castiel clears his throat and straightens up.
“I’m fine. Sam’s been teaching me how act and look around the family members of victims.” Castiel adjusts his face, scrunching up his eyebrows in concern and schooling his face into the ’I understand exactly what you’re going through right now, trust me’ look.
Dean hoots in delight. “You learned the puppy dog face!”
Sam rolls his eyes. “So, anyway, as far as I can tell, the two victims have anything in common except that they are both female. Thirty years ago, a cycle of drowning victims started. Every decade, one to five women would drown in the lake. There’d been no drownings in the lake before then. The first woman to die was Sally Robinson. The only family member still alive is her brother, so we can go talk to him and see if there’s a chance she’s our killer. Cas thinks it could be something else, so he’ll go to the library to check out other possibilities.”
Dean snaps his fingers and points at Sam. “Loch Ness.”
“No.”
“The Kraken?”
“Dean.”
Dean shrugs. “Just saying. You never know.”
“Sally’s brother lives on the other side of town, so we should get going.”
Dean springs up from the bed and claps Sam on the shoulder. “You go do that. Cas and I have an appointment at the pool.”
“What?” Castiel asks.
“Well, I figured now as good a time as any for you to learn how to swim. Might come in handy. Come on, I think I saw a public pool on the way here.”
Dean's walking out the door before either Sam or Castiel can protest, so Castiel just gives Sam a helpless shrug and follows Dean.
“You okay all on your own, Sam? Sure, I'll just interview the brother, and research, and do all the work. Why don't you guys go get spa treatments while you're at it?” Sam says to an empty room. “Jerks.”
~~~
Dean concedes that teaching Castiel to swim isn't really going well after Castiel comes out of the water coughing and sputtering for the fifth time, knocking into a girl who's swimming by.
“Whoa there, big boy,” the woman says as she holds Castiel steady by his arm. Castiel blinks water out of his eyes and coughs a few more times before he looks up to see the woman looking at him with happy eyes and an amused grin. “Looks like you’re having some trouble.”
“Learning to swim is…more difficult than I expected,” Castiel replies.
“Mind if I take the reins for a while, cowboy?” the woman says, looking at Dean expectantly.
Dean starts at the sudden question, but shrugs. “Sure. We’re not really getting anywhere.”
“Sweet.” She turns her attention back on Castiel. “I’m Gloria.”
“Castiel.”
“Hm, Castiel.” Gloria tests the name on her tongue. “I like it. Now, there’s a rhythm to swimming...”
~~~
By the time Dean pulls himself out of the water, Castiel and Gloria are still swimming around the pool and watching each other’s strokes. Castiel’s technique is better and he no longer swallows water by the mouthful.
“Hey, Cas. I’m gonna head out. You coming?”
Castiel wades to the edge of the pool. “Um, Gloria offered to show me around town. I was unable to refuse.”
Dean feels a sharp stab of jealousy, but grins and wiggles his eyebrows. “Looks like my boy is finally growing up! You show her a good time, now.”
“I will try,” Castiel says, giving him a small smile.
~~~
Columbus’ amusement park consists of a carousel starring faded, grimy animal statues and kid rides that see more visits from birds than children. The park’s about to close by the time Gloria and Castiel visit the park, but Gloria charms one last run out of the carousel operator. Gloria chooses a hideous, purple frog, and Castiel mounts a miserable-looking horse with a flaking bronze mane. Gloria gives the operator a thumbs up and Castiel almost falls off the horse when the ride jerks to life. Gloria whoops as the ride gains speed. Castiel grips the pole attached to the horse tightly, watching Gloria’s bangs whip into her face and her lips spread into a grin so familiar he has to remind himself who he’s with. The ride seems to spin impossibly fast, the world outside the carousel blurring.
After, Gloria brings him to a small, homey diner that “serves the most heavenly pancakes you will ever taste, I swear to God.” As they eat, she tells him stories about herself that coax startled laughs and astonished looks out of him. As she recounts the tales, Castiel watches Gloria’s eyebrows scrunch in concentration, her lips reveal a toothy grin, her neck bared when she tosses her head back to laugh unabashedly.
Gloria also persuades Castiel into telling her about himself. Dean and Sam warned him against telling civilians the truth, but he finds himself confessing his emotions and doubts about the life he’s led and actions that he’s taken without revealing too much about his actual life. Gloria is as good a listener as a story teller, and Castiel realizes Gloria gets the sense that he is older than he looks.
By the time they finish eating, it’s late enough that Castiel feels guilty about leaving Sam and Dean to do the work and says as much. Gloria grins at his sincerity, and nods. The motel isn’t far from the diner, so Gloria walks with him, pulling out her phone and asking him to put in his number. Castiel warns her that he probably won’t be in town for long, but she waves a dismissive hand and extracts Castiel’s phone from his pocket to enter her own number. The say goodbye with a hug.
When Castiel enters the motel room, Dean and Sam are already there, discussing the case. Dean grins when he catches sight of Castiel.
“How’d your date go?”
“Fine,” Castiel replies tersely as he shrugs off his jacket.
“Just fine? Come on, Cas. Don‘t hold out on me.”
“We went to the amusement park and then a diner.”
“That’s all? Did you at least kiss her?”
“We hugged.”
“Man, I should’ve known you were a lame date.”
“Not everyone is promiscuous, Dean.”
“…Did you just call me promiscuous?” Dean asks incredulously.
Castiel pointedly turns to Sam. “Did you find anything?”
Sam glances at his watch. “It’s late. We’ll fill you in in the morning. Just get some sleep now.”
“It’s fine. We can talk now,” Castiel protests.
“Speak for yourself. I’m dead on my feet,” Dean says, stretching and yawning dramatically. He flops onto his bed and closes his eyes, jeans still on. Castiel frowns but concedes, slipping into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
~~~
Sam fills him in the next day.
“Okay, so, I went to talk to Sally’s brother. Apparently, he was there the day of the drowning.”
“Let me guess. He saw Sally trying to save someone who was drowning.”
“Bingo. Get this - he was actually in the water with her.”
“And the thing only took her?”
“Yep.”
“So we’re dealing with some kind of sea creature that imitates a helpless, drowning victim and then takes the women who try to save it?”
“Looks like it.”
“I think I know what it is,” Castiel cuts in. Dean and Sam turn to him expectantly. “I think it’s a dracum.”
“Dracum?” Dean repeats.
“Yes. Draci are water spirits that prey on women. In the past, they assumed the form of wooden plates. When women reach out for the plates, the dracum grabs her and take her to the bottom of the water to take care of their young. I assume that this dracum has evolved and changed with the times. I believe the dracum drowns women until it finds what it believe to be the right one to take care of its young. The dracum is unable to sustain the woman’s life underwater for more than ten years, so that explains the cycle.”
“Great, now we know what it is. How do we kill it?”
“Well, lore says that water spirits usually lose their power when they’re out of the water, so if we can lure it onto land, we can probably kill it,” Sam interjects.
“How are we supposed to lure the thing? The thing only goes after women. Unless you have something to share with the class, Sammy, we’ve all got dicks.”
Sam valiantly ignores Dean’s dig. “I don’t know. We’ll figure out something. I‘ll stay here and see if I can find anything that can help us. You guys do recon at the lake. Maybe you can stumble upon something useful.”
“Alright, let’s go, Cas.”
“”Be careful, Dean. Just because this thing only takes women doesn’t mean it won’t kill you if it thinks you’re a threat. If you go into the water, make sure you can get out if you’re attacked.”
“You take me for an amateur, Sammy? I know what to do. Adios.”
Sam waves them goodbye as he turn on his laptop.
~~~
“Hey, Cas, is there someone already in the lake?” Dean says, gazing out at the lake and speeding the car up.
Castiel squints into the distance, shielding his eyes from the sun with a hand, His eyes widen in alarm when he realizes who’s in the lake.
“Gloria!” Castiel’s opening the door before the car even stops and he’s breaking into a run. Gloria is swimming toward someone else - something else - in the water. Castiel immediately realizes that it’s the dracum. The dracum is making a ruckus, pretending to thrash and creating waves and spatters of water.
“Wait!” Dean yells. Castiel looks back and barely slows down as Dean tosses the end of a rope to him. “Tie that around your waist!”
Castiel secures the rope firmly around his body as he sprints toward the lake. “Gloria!“ Castiel yells, waving frantically at her. Gloria breaks her stride to look up at the call, and her eyes lighten up in recognition.
“Hold on! Someone’s in trouble,” Gloria shouts back before picking up speed again.
“No, Gloria. Stop! It’s too dangerous!” Despite Castiel’s warning, she doesn’t stop or slow down. Castiel curses under his breath, diving into the lake as soon as he reaches the bank. Castiel is closer the dracum than Gloria is, but he knows he’s still an amateur swimmer at best and doesn’t let up.
Castiel lunges in front of Gloria, grabbing her by the waist before she can reach the dracum. She glances over her shoulder in confusion, hands trying to pry his arms off. “Cas, what are you doing?”
“That’s not a person, Gloria,” Castiel pants.
“Then what is it?” Gloria asks, still struggling half-heartedly to get out of his grip, and Castiel hesitates. He doesn’t know if she will believe him, and wants more than anything to be normal with Gloria. Before he can decide, though, he realizes that the splashing has stopped and darts his eyes behind Gloria. The water is calm and quiet.
Castiel barely has time to think, Shit-, before Gloria suddenly plunges under the surface. Castiel shoots his hand out to grab her arm before she’s complete submerged and he’s dragged down as well, sinking at an alarming rate. The rope around his waist suddenly tightens and the plummet stops as they jerk to a standstill in the water. Castiel takes the moment to pull Gloria to his chest and snake his arms around her waist again. He catches sight of the shape of the dracum beneath them in the murky water before they’re being hauled back up toward the surface swiftly.
When they break the surface, still being towed along by the rope, they gasp for air.
“Is there something still holding onto you?” Castiel asks, panting. Gloria’s eyes are panicked as she nod. In the distance, Castiel spots the Impala speeding away from the lake with the other end of the rope attached to the bumper. Grimly, he says, “Good.”
They tumble roughly onto the bank of the lake, and Dean’s out of the car and pulling the dracum off Gloria’ leg as soon as they roll to a stop, knife slicing its neck in one clean move.
Gloria’s stopped several feet away from Castiel, and her shoulders are shaking. Castiel starts at the sight and reaches for Gloria in an attempt to comfort her, but stops when she flops onto her back and he realizes that she’s laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” Castiel asks, eyebrows furrowed.
“Because I can,” she says between gasps of laughter. Oddly, Castiel realizes, she makes sense. “Holy shit, that was…fucked up.”
“Yeah.”
Her laugh peters out eventually and she turns toward him.
“Hey,” Gloria says softly. She leans into him and presses her lips against his, tongue slipping into his mouth. Castiel closes his eyes and kisses back slowly.
“What was that for?” Castiel asks.
“Figured I’d at least make out with you before your boy claimed you. He‘s so smitten,” she says, smirking. Castiel glances at Dean, who’s awkwardly standing with his back to them and darting his eyes toward them sporadically.
“He is not,” Castiel says, unconvincingly.
“Yeah, he kind of is,” Gloria comments, soft smile playing on her lips. “Also, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Castiel replies, smiling softly. Gloria rises to her feet and stretches her hands out for Castiel to take. She helps him lift himself to his feet, and Dean finally turns around.
“I never officially introduced myself. I’m Gloria.” She sticks out a hand for Dean to shake. He takes it.
“Dean.”
“Nice to meet you.” Gloria’s features suddenly shift, a look of seriousness and determination on her face. “Promise me you’ll take care of him, Dean.”
Dean nods. “You have my word.”
~~~
After Sam scolds them for taking on the dracum on their own, they take quick showers while Sam goes out for food. When Castiel comes out of the shower, Dean tosses a beer can to him.
“Celebratory beers,” Dean says cheerfully.
“Thank you.” Castiel opens the beer can and takes a long gulp as he settles down on the edge of a bed. He notices Dean gazing at him in contemplation out of the corner of his eye, but doesn’t comment.
“You really liked Gloria, huh?” Dean asks as he sits down next to Castiel.
“I did. She was one of a kind.”
“I’m sorry you had to leave her behind.”
Castiel looks at Dean oddly. “It‘s what you‘ve done all your life, and I can learn to do so as well.”
“It’s just. I’m sorry that this is the only life that we can give you.”
“Why? What is wrong with this life?”
Dean laughs humorlessly. “Do you really have to ask?”
“I understand how you feel, but-” Castiel bites his lip in trepidation and looks away from Dean, putting his can on the floor. “I don’t believe another kind of life is worth living if it is without you.”
Dean is stunned into silence for a moment, his chest hot and tight, before he recovers. “Dude, are you going to propose next?”
“Dean,” Castiel says exasperatedly. “I am being serious.”
“Really? I couldn’t tell, seeing as everything you say sounds-” Castiel pulls Dean to him and slots his lips over Dean’s before he can finish his sentence.
Dean inhales sharply, dropping his can, but doesn’t even take five seconds to respond, because all his desire and lust is spilling from him like blood from an open wound.
Pent-up lust is radiating from Castiel as well, whose hands are suddenly everywhere, on his face, his neck, skating under his shirt and up his back. All the while, he’s kissing Dean hard, throaty sounds leaking from his mouth.
“This is a bad idea,” Castiel mutters against Dean’s cheek when they break off a moment.
“I know,” Dean replies before catching his lips again.
Dean pushes Castiel down lightly, tugging him up the sheets until his legs are on bed. He lines up their bodies, mouth to mouth, chest to chest. When they pull their mouths apart to gasp for air, Castiel’s eyes are wild as his hips grind up at against Dean. Their thrusts become frantic and erratic, but when the friction isn’t enough, Dean tugs down the zipper of Castiel’s pants and slips his hand in to touch his cock. Castiel gets with the program and does the same, stroking Dean’s cock roughly, but in earnest. It’s not long before they’re spilling into each other’s hands, and Dean flops over next to Castiel, panting.
“Dean, I need to know how you feel,” Castiel says seriously, turning his head. “ I need to know that meant something to you.”
“Ugh, can’t we just enjoy the post-coital moment in peace,’ Dean groans.
“Dean.” Dean flicks his eyes to Castiel, who’s gazing at him with pleading eyes. Dean feel vulnerable and exposed all of a sudden.
“Like Gloria said, I am smitten,” Dean jokes with a weak grin. For a moment, he’s afraid that Castiel will ask for more, more than he knows how to give, but Castiel only nods and smiles.
“So am I.”
~~~
Dean hates werewolf cases. Not as much as Sam does, but Dean doubts there are many people who hate werewolf cases as much as Sam does. He hates the moral ambiguity, hates how long they can take, hates dealing with the werewolves when they’re human. But he deals, because it’s what he does.
Dean categorizes injuries into fixable, hospital, and fucked. Most injuries go into the fixable category, but sometimes, luck just isn’t on their side, and they need to go to the hospital. Their wounds rarely fall into the fucked category, and they make sure it stays that way, because fucked means getting electrocuted and having a heart attack or getting stabbed in the spine.
Right now, Castiel is definitely in the hospital category, bordering on fucked.
They pinpointed their probable candidate earlier that day, and planned to keep him in the house by any means necessary until the moon was up and they were sure they had their monster. Things didn’t go according to plan, and the guy managed to slip away. By the time they caught up with him in an abandoned warehouse, he’d already transformed.
The werewolf nearly body slammed Dean into the wall, but Castiel had caught sight of it out of the corner of his eye a second before it attacked and had made a split second decision between raising his gun and tackling Dean. Castiel leaped for Dean and shoved him down as the werewolf sidelined him instead, slamming him into the wall so violently that Dean practically feels his ribcage rattle. The pained gasp that tore from Castiel and the crack of bones had been enough to have Dean up and his gun cocked, but Sam beat him to it and the werewolf collapsed to the floor. Dean sprung over the werewolf’s body as soon as it hit the floor to get to Castiel.
Now he’s muttering curses as he kneels down next to Castiel’s body and inspects the damage. Castiel’s head is bleeding profusely and there are bruises on his face and body from the impact with the wall. Dean’s pretty sure that Castiel has at least two broken ribs and he knows there’s a good chance that he has internal bleeding as well. Dean digs his car keys out of his pockets and tosses them to Sam, who’s looking on with concern. Dean kneels back down to pick Castiel up as gingerly as possible, and grimly says to Sam, “Hospital.”
~~~
Dean’s slumped in a chair in front of the doors to the ICU and there are two doors and four strangers between Dean and Castiel, when all he wants is to be near him.
“Okay,” Dean says suddenly, without looking away from the doors to the ICU.
“Okay?” Sam repeats, eyebrows furrowed.
“Okay. If Cas gets out of this alive, we should settle down. Live life properly. With a house and a picket fence and a fucking dog.” Dean’s face is weary and grim and Sam thinks that’s as close to a prayer as Dean will ever make.
“That better not be an empty promise,” Sam warns.
“No, I mean it. I,” Dean swallows, and then starts again, “You were right. People who live like we do die young and violently. And. I don’t want that for us. We deserve a happy ending. Cas deserves to live a normal life.”
Even though Dean only mentions Castiel at the last moment, Sam knows he’s been thinking about him the entire time.
“Cas will be okay, Dean. He’s survived a lot. A scratch from a werewolf isn’t going to kill him," Sam says softly. Dean nods and takes a deep breath. “So, you got a place in mind to settle down?”
Dean turns to Sam with a quirked eyebrow. “No. Do you?”
Sam smirks. “Remember Sarah Blake?”
Dean snorts. “You sly dog. You’ve been thinking about this for a while, huh? Yeah, I remember her.”
~~~
Dean loses track of the time it takes for Castiel’s doctor to come out of the ICU, but when she does, she’s smiling and Dean‘s entire body heaves a relieved sigh.
“He’s stable and conscious. I recommended that he rest, but he insisted on seeing Dean and Sam first,” she says.
Dean glances at Sam and says, “Can I…”
Sam nods. “Go ahead.”
Sam stays seated while Dean follows the doctor into the ICU. “Make it quick and don’t let him strain himself.”
Dean nods as they stop in front of a room and the doctor puts a soothing hand on his shoulder before she leaves. He closes his eyes for a moment and then opens the door. Castiel turns his head slowly and smiles tiredly when he sees who it is. Dean can see a bone-deep weariness in Castiel’s face and entire body, and he wonders if it’s always been there and he’d just never noticed.
“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greets as Dean sits down next to the bed.
“Hey, Cas,” Dean replies. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a werewolf tackled me into a wall.”
Dean huffs a laugh. “No shit.”
“I will recover.”
“Good. Good.” Dean takes a deep breath. “So, Sam and I were thinking of staying in one place for a while.”
Castiel frowns. “We do not need to stop hunting for my sake.”
“Hey, this isn’t just because you got hurt. Sam and I have been thinking about this for a while. Figured we deserved a break. Don't you think so?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
“You okay with that?”
Castiel wrinkles his forehead in thought and nods. “Yes. I am content to follow whatever course of action you believe to be best.”
Dean makes a noise of frustration. “Cas, don’t you get it? I-” Dean’s voice softens. “I care about you. You get a say in this, too. Do you want to do this?”
Castiel is silent for a moment. “I. I would like that.”
Dean grins.
~~~
Sarah Blake lives in New Paltz, New York, which is big enough of a town that Dean and Sam are uncomfortable settling in, but Sundown is only 10 miles away and small enough that no one looks too closely at their fake papers and IDs. Sarah helps the brothers and Castiel find a cheap, two bedroom house at the edge of town. When Dean pulls up to the house, the real estate agent waves at them from the window. Sam and Castiel unfold out of the car as soon as Dean cuts the engine. Sam strides directly up to the agent to shake her hand, but Castiel pauses when Dean doesn‘t move from his seat..
Dean's hand are gripping the steering wheel tightly and staring ahead when Castiel slides in next to him. There is a moment of silence before Dean says, “I don't know how to do this, Cas. I don’t know how to stay in one place. Get a real job. Commit to this kind of life.”
“I don't know how to do this either. But-” Castiel spares Dean a glance as he hesitates. “Perhaps we can learn together.”
Dean lets out a shaky laugh. “The pair of us doing normal. What a picture.”
Castiel just rests his hand on Dean’s until he lets go of the steering wheel and meets Castiel‘s eye. Castiel gives him a small smile, and says, “Let’s go inside.”
Dean exhales loudly, forcing a grin onto his face and saying, “Alright! Let’s do this.” He gestures at the car door. “Ladies first.”
~~~
Two Years Later
Dean wakes up to something heavy on his thighs, and instinct has him reaching under his pillow. Sam made a face when he found out Dean was still keeping a gun under his pillow, but Dean argued that there were still monsters in the world even if they weren't actively hunting them, and that was the end of the discussion.
When Dean opens his eyes, he sees Castiel on top of him, gazing at him with half-lidded eyes and an amused smile. Dean lets go of his gun with a huff.
“Expecting someone else?” Castiel asks, voice sly and sleep-rough.
“Shut up, it doesn’t hurt to be careful,” Dean mutters, letting his eyes flutter closed. “And I liked it better when you weren’t such a smartass.”
“No, you don’t.” Castiel leans down to kiss Dean’s eyelids. “And I learned from the best.”
Dean just grumbles unintelligently and lets Castiel slide his lips over his. He hums into Castiel’s mouth as Castiel slips his tongue along Dean’s lips and between them. Castiel starts grinding his hips against Dean in excruciatingly slow thrusts, and Dean grunts in frustration. Castiel pulls away from Dean’s mouth, but before he can complain, Castiel’s mouth is gliding along Dean’s neck and collarbone, teeth worrying at the skin. Slithering down Dean’s body slowly, Castiel's mouth sucks at the skin of Dean's smooth chest and hard stomach. Dean’s stomach quivers against Castiel’s lips as he lets out a happy sigh.
Castiel finally slides his mouth down Dean’s cock, tongue skating along the underside. Dean hums in appreciation and threads his fingers through Castiel’s hair as Castiel dips his mouth on and off his cock. When Castiel pulls off and slithers back up Dean’s body, knees bracketing Dean’s waist, Dean asks, “Lube?”
“I’m good,” Castiel murmurs, grabbing Dean’s hand and guiding it down to his hole, where Dean’s fingers slip in easily.
“Well, well, well. Look who started the show without me.” Dean grins as he fucks his fingers into Castiel.
Castiel huffs exasperatedly. “Fuck me already.”
Dean complies, guiding his cock to Castiel’s hole and sliding home. Castiel grunts as he sinks down, hands settled firmly on Dean’s chest. He lifts off his haunches until Dean’s cock almost slips out, then slides back down.
Dean watches through half-lidded eyes and rolls his hips as Castiel rocks up and down, his head thrown back and the expanse of his neck exposed and gleaming with sweat. As Castiel rides him, he makes soft, keening noises that shoot right to Dean’s groin.
Dean decides that Castiel is going too slow for his taste, and suddenly flips them over. Castiel widens his eyes in surprise, but they squeeze shut as soon as Dean starts driving into him. He wraps his legs around Dean’s waist and hauls him closer, mouth falling open to emit filthy, breathy moans and hand stroking his cock.
Dean fall over the edge quickly, pounding into Castiel erratically as he rides the waves of pleasure. Castiel’s hand picks up speed on his cock, and soon enough, he’s coming all over his own chest. Dean slips out his cock out of him and collapses on Castiel, panting.
“Good?” Castiel asks, voice rough and out of breath.
“Ngh,” Dean says.
Castiel chuckles. “Alright. Come on. Up. It‘s almost seven.”
“And?”
“And you’ll be late to work, and I know you’re terrified of Sadie.”
“Fuck you, I am not,” Dean mumbles, even as he’s getting up. “I’m going to shower, and you’re not allowed in.”
“Uh huh,” Castiel says, eyes following Dean’s ass as he walks out of the bedroom.
Castiel slips into the shower with Dean five minutes later, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. “I’m sorry I insulted your manhood,” he murmurs into Dean’s shoulder. Dean humphs at the apology, but relaxes in his arms. Castiel smiles against Dean’s skin.
~
Castiel’s in the kitchen making pancakes when Dean comes out of the bathroom dressed and groomed. The coffee’s already done and Dean makes a beeline for it. He pours himself a cup and settles down on a chair, sagging down in his seat and fluttering his eyelids as he inhales the smell of coffee. Castiel smiles bemusedly at him as he brings over the pancakes. Castiel likes to amuse himself by making pancakes in different shapes. Today’s pancakes look vaguely like fish.
When Dean reaches for the maple syrup, Castiel pulls it away. “What the fuck, Cas?”
“Sam says you should start eating healthier.”
“And you listened to him?”
“He’s smarter than you.”
Dean makes an indignant noise and swipes at Castiel to an attempt to retrieve the bottle of syrup, but Castiel steps out of reaching distance, concealing the bottle behind his back.
“I’m not even going to bother,” Dean grumbles, turning back to his coffee.
“Dean, hold that pose.” Castiel darts into their bedroom before Dean can question him, so he just holds still. When Castiel comes back out with a drawing pad and several pencils. Dean quirks an eyebrow at him, but doesn’t move. Castiel puts his pencil to paper and sketches for a few minutes.
“Done,” Castiel announces. Dean makes grabby hands at the pad and Castiel hesitantly hands it over. The drawing’s obviously rough given the time it took to draw, but the resemblance to Dean is unmistakable. Dean’s lips are pulled into a slightly pout as he hunches over a cup of steaming coffee, the shadow of Dean falling over the kitchen table and the lines in his face evident.
“Whoa, Cas. When did you learn to draw?”
“I've been practicing at the library.” Castiel almost looks shy.
“This is awesome!” Dean flips through the entire pad. There are detailed drawings of library patrons hunched over books, and children arranged in a circle around an animated speaker. Dean glimpses pictures of people sleeping on the library couches with open mouths and a child drawing with crayons. “Why didn't you show me these before?”
Castiel shrugs. “I didn't know they were worth showing.”
“Course they are! My boy's an artiste,” Dean says, grinning.
~
When Dean comes home, Castiel is reading Cat‘s Cradle on the couch. Castiel looks up when the door slams shut, lips pulled into a frown and eyebrows furrowed.
“Hey, Cas. What’s up?”
“I called the Sadie’s Auto Shop today because you weren’t picking up your cellphone and I wanted to tell you that Sam invited us for dinner, but Sadie informed me that you haven’t worked there in two weeks. Care to explain?”
Dean freezes. “It’s not what you think, Cas.”
“I don’t think anything. I just want to know what you’ve been up to.”
“I swear I was going to tell you. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t making a mistake. I entered the firefighter’s training program in the city.”
Castiel raises an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”
“Dude, we walked away from hunting because it was gonna get us killed. I didn’t think you would support me walking back into the fire. Literally.”
“Dean. I know you. The desire to help others is inscribed into your very being. You cannot fight your nature. I’m not stupid. I know you walked away from hunting because of me. You would probably still be hunting if I had not entered the picture.”
Dean slides into Castiel’s lap and smiles slyly. “And you know what? I’m glad you did. My life is better for it. And don’t you forget that.”
Dean ducks his head down to suck on Castiel’s ear, sliding his hand under his shirt. Castiel’s breath hitches.
“I’m not mad at you, Dean. You don’t have to distract me.”
“Hm, but I want to,” Dean murmurs as he unzips Castiel’s jeans.
“And who am I to impede on your desires?” Castiel says, letting his head fall back. “But, just so you know, Sam will be pissed when he finds out about the training program.”
“Ugh, I know. Now shut up and let me undress you.” Castiel does.
~~~
Castiel believes that Christmas has been corrupted by the capitalist agenda, but he knows the holiday represents family and normalcy for Dean (and he enjoys putting up decorations), so he indulges Dean’s enthusiasm.
“Cas, what is this?”
“What does it look like? It’s our Christmas tree. Do you want to help me put up the ornaments?”
“No, this is not a tree. This is a branch. Why did you get a branch?”
“No one else wanted it.”
“There was a reason.”
“Dean, it is a perfectly adequate tree! Now help me hang up the tinsel.”
~~~
Dean rings Sam’s doorbell.
“Do you think I brought enough food, Dean?” Castiel asks, concerned.
Dean stares at the trays of food piled in Castiel’s arms. “Cas, stop worrying. You brought more than enough food.”
Sarah opens the door as Castiel nods. “Happy Christmas Eve, guys!” Sarah exclaims, pulling Dean into a hug. Sarah embraces Castiel around the trays before taking them into her own arms.
“It smells awesome in here,” Dean comments as he enters the house. Sam’s in the dining room, setting food down on the table.
“Hey!” Sam greets when he catches sight of Dean and Castiel. “Glad you guys could make it.”
“Oh man, me too,” Dean says, mouth practically salivating at the sight of their dinner table.
Sam rolls his eyes. “Come on. Sit down and dig in.”
“Sorry we won’t be around tomorrow. You know how my parents are about visiting on Christmas,” Sarah apologizes as they start eating.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. It‘s too bad you‘re gonna have all the fun,” Dean says dryly.
“You’re welcome to come, Dean.”
“No offense, Sarah, but I’d rather take on a wendigo with my bare hands than spend a minute with your parents,” Dean replies, mouth half-full with chicken.
“Dean,” Sam reprimands.
“Okay, maybe like a low level demon.”
“No offense taken,” Sarah says grinning. “My dad can be mean when he wants to be. It’s too bad you bring out the worst in him.”
“See, Sam. Even Sarah gets my point.”
Sam graciously changes the subject. “I’m glad it‘s Christmas vacation. I love the kids, but teenagers are so stubborn.”
“Yeah, well, that’s karma for ya. Shouldn’t have been such a pain in the ass as a kid.”
“Fuck off.”
“Sam! Not now,” Sarah says sharply.
“Sorry, hun,” Sam apologizes sheepishly.
Dean snickers and mimics cracking a whip at Sam. Castiel looks at Dean sternly and Dean puts his hands down.
Sam grins. “So who’s up for a game of Scrabble after dinner?”
Castiel perks up. Dean groans.
~~~
“Holy crap, what did you get me? A midget hooker?”
“Dean.” Castiel’s face looks stern, but Dean can see a smile tugging at his lips.
“Aw, don’t use that tone with me, baby. I get that enough from Sam. Did you forget to poke holes in the box?”
Castiel rolls his eyes. “Just open it.”
Dean plucks the bow off and tears the wrapping paper away with gusto, uncovering a large white box. Dean opens the flaps and digs his hands into the peanuts until his fingers touch something metal cold and solid, pulling it out in a shower of peanuts to reveal a sleek, auburn acoustic guitar.
“Cas…” Dean feels breathless. “She’s a beauty.”
Castiel gives him a delighted grin. “I thought you might like to learn to play guitar. Learn to play some classic rock. Maybe write your own songs. Also, you need a better hobby than watching porn.”
“Hey, that’s a perfectly reasonable hobby.” Dean slides his hand down the neck of the guitar and along its curves. “Thank you, Cas. Your turn!”
Dean hands him an envelope, biting his lip. Castiel tears open the envelope neatly, slipping a single piece of paper out of it and unfolding it.
“Sunrise Coffee Presents Artwork By Castiel Winston,” Castiel reads out loud. “Dean, is this…a flyer?”
“You never show your art to anyone except me, and I thought that kind of talent should be shared with the world. We could even do some kind of charity thing and get people to buy drawings and donate the money somewhere. I know you like that kind of stuff.” When Castiel remains speechless, Dean hastily adds, “Or not! I probably shouldn’t have assumed. Never mind, I’ll just get you something-”
“Thank you,” Castiel interrupts. “This is wonderful.”
Castiel pulls him Dean into a deep kiss, dropping the envelope in favor of cupping Dean’s face. “Thank you,” Castiel repeats.
Dean chuckles. “You’re welcome. You know, I’m not done yet.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve got a shiny new toy for us to play with upstairs,” Dean says mischievously. “You in?”
“Always.”
~~~
When Dean calls, Sam is trying to get the new coffeemaker he bought to work.
“Hey, Dean. What’s up?” Sam says, squinting at the instructions.
“Life or death situation, come over,” Dean replies gravely. Sam is halfway out the door, socks mismatched and dirty shirt hastily pulled on, when he hears Castiel’s muffled voice in the background saying, “Dean, don’t worry your brother like that. It is not a life and death situation.”
Sam pauses on his front porch. “What’s going on?”
Sam hears rustling and indignant yelling for a few seconds, then Castiel’s voice comes through clearly. “Dean would like you to come over and settle a mild dispute.”
“Is it that important?” Sam asks. He hears Dean yell, Yes!.
“I’ll be over in ten minutes,” Sam says as he goes back inside to change.
~
When Sam comes over, Dean and Castiel are intently watching Dr. Sexy M.D.
“Seriously?” Sam asks incredibly.
“Never question a man about his soap operas,” Dean replies without taking his eyes off the television screen. Castiel nods in agreement. “Anyway, I need you to tell Castiel I’m right.”
“Right about what?”
“Okay, so, Dr. Ellen Piccolo - you might remember her as the sexy yet earnest doctor - is dating Dr. Collins, the rugged yet sensitive heart surgeon. Her childhood best friend, Dr. Ross starts working at the hospital and Dr. Piccolo falls in love with him. Dr. Piccolo resolves to tell Dr. Collins, but when she approaches him, he faints before she can tell him anything. They discover that he has an incurable brain tumor! And what does she decide to do? She doesn’t tell him about her affair!”
Castiel interrupts. “What use would that information be to him?”
“What do you mean what use? It would’ve been the truth!”
“What is the point of telling a dying man that his girlfriend is in love with another man?”
“What? So you lie to him?”
“If it protects him, yes.”
“Sam! What do you think?”
Sam just stares at Dean and Castiel for a long moment. They stare back earnestly. “And we couldn’t have done this over the phone?”
“You would’ve hung up on me.”
“Okay, so I’m leaving now,” Sam says as he walks back toward the front door.
“Wait, you didn’t answer my question!” Dean calls out.
“Get a marital therapist,” Sam shouts as he slams the door shut.
~~~
Sometimes, Dean will feel like the life he’s established is suffocating him, disillusionment muddling his mind. The air in his house will become thin and his heartbeat will pound in his ears, his doubts and insecurities filling his mind. In those moments, Dean will hurl himself into his car and drive. He will drive out of town and onto the open road, where he practically feels the cracked concrete beneath the Impala’s wheels, and only sees the unending sky above and ahead of him. The wind will howl in his ears and blow relentlessly against his face, and he will feel uninhibited and timeless. Then the ringing and vibrating of his phone will throw him out of his trance, and Castiel will be on the line telling him to come home. He will spin his car around and do just that.
Author: immortal_lights
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Rating: NC-17 (for sex)
Word Count: ~10,000
Summary: Castiel learns how to be human. Then Dean and him learn how to be normal.
Notes: This fic goes AU after 5x18. Title from Home by Bruce Weigl. Thanks goes out to drown_thecity for being an awesome beta! This is a looong overdue fic for help_haiti. Written for tangodoodles. She asked for fluffy domestic fic, and I gave her that, in addition to an entire backstory. Oops. I hope you enjoy it!
After, there is an abrupt, jarring quiet penetrated only by Dean’s harsh breathing and the howl of the wind through the still battlefield. His sudden perception of the bitter cold biting at his skin and the pain thrumming through his entire body brings him to his knees with a gasp. The last thing he remembers is the feel of the dirt soaked with blood beneath his palms and a sense of finality and peace settling in his bones.
~~~
When Dean wakes up, Castiel is methodically wiping a wet cloth against Dean’s forehead. Absently, Dean notices how vulnerably human the gesture is. “Hey,” Dean croaks. When he tries to sit up, a line of fire shoots down his side and his vision blurs.
“Stay still, Dean. You have been gravely injured,” Castiel says as he gently lays Dean’s head back down. Dean gasps in pain and chokes on the dryness in his throat, blinking his eyes until Castiel’s face comes back into focus.
“Eh, it can’t be that bad if I can still talk,” Dean says with a weak grin. He glances around the nondescript motel room and realizes that they’re alone.
“Where’s Sam?” Dean asks, panic edging into his voice.
“He’s in the bathroom, Dean. Don‘t worry.” Castiel nods toward the closed bathroom door. The sound of the shower is barely there, but still present.
“Is Lucifer dead? Once and for all?” Lucifer looked pretty dead before Dean passed out, but he can never be too sure when it comes to the supernatural.
“Lucifer has been defeated.” Even now, Castiel’s face is serious, and Dean can’t help but toss his head back and laugh. His laugh is hysterical and shakes his entire body. He can’t stop even though he’s sore all over, and Castiel scrunches his face in confusion for a few seconds before he reluctantly smiles at Dean’s outburst.
“Lighten up, Cas! The apocalypse has been stopped, I killed the devil, and we’re not dead!” Dean wants to run a victory lap and throw confetti in the air. He wants to go out on the town, and have thank-god-I’m alive sex. Dean settles for whooping. “Holy shit, I killed the devil!”
“Yes, you did,” Castiel says quietly. When Dean looks at him, he has on a shy, pleased smile, and all Dean wants to do is kiss him until he can’t breathe. So he does. He pulls Castiel down by the lapels of his trench coat and crushes his mouth against his. He is unyielding at first, but Dean is nothing if not persistent. Castiel doesn’t kiss back, but he relaxes and lets Dean run his tongue along his lips and between them. When Dean finally releases Castiel’s coat, he is breathing hard and Castiel stares at him in shock for a moment before disappearing.
“Sonuvabitch,” Dean mutters as he lets his eyes flutter shut.
~~~
After a lot of manly hugging and cheering still fraught with disbelief, Sam and Dean patch each other up and drive to the nearest bar to celebrate. They decide to remain in the motel for a couple more days to recuperate and nurse their hangovers.
For the first time in his life, Dean doesn’t feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. He feels free of responsibility and blame. At the same time, he feels like he’s stuck in a limbo. He’s been trying to stop the oncoming apocalypse for so long, Dean’s not sure what to do now that that’s done.
Castiel returns a few days after he left. Dean hears him before he sees him. There’s a sudden, heavy thud on the floor next to his bed, and Dean’s already grabbed the knife underneath his pillow and kicked aside the covers by the time he sees the familiar frame of Castiel on the floor. He's hunched over, head down and arms wrapped around his sides. Dean immediately lets go of the knife and drops down on the floor next to Castiel. Castiel looks up, and Dean is taken back by the look of pure terror and agony on his face. Gasps and tremors wrack Castiel’s body, and Dean grips his shoulders in an attempt to still them as Castiel drops his head against Dean’s shoulder.
“Hey, Cas, hey. What happened? What’s wrong?” Dean says as he tries to get Castiel to look him in the eyes. By now, Sam’s crouched down next to them, forehead creased with concern. “Talk to me.”
When Castiel finally looks up, there’s light emitting from his eyes and mouth. “Oh, no, no, no, no. This is not good. What’s going on, Cas? Come on, talk to me!”
“Dean, Sam, close your eyes. Close your eyes now,” Castiel says through clenched teeth as the light grows brighter. Dean is torn between watching what happens next and doing as Castiel says. Castiel decides for him by pulling Dean to him and cradling his head against his chest. The only thing Dean can do is wrap his arms around Castiel and hold on tight.
Eventually, Castiel slumps against Dean, and for a few terrifying seconds, Dean thinks he's dead.
“What do we do now?” Sam asks.
“We should stay here for a bit to make sure Cas is fine. Then we do what we always do. Keep hunting.”
Sam frowns, but doesn’t say anything.
~~~
When Castiel gasps awake, Dean’s already paced the room for an hour while Sam sits on the other bed, looking for any sign of consciousness. Dean almost trips over himself rushing to Castiel’s side. “Hey, Cas. Are you feeling okay?”
“I have lost my grace,” Castiel says without preamble, despair obvious on his face and in his voice. Dean’s breath catches and he’s suddenly overrun with horror and disbelief that quickly turns into rage.
“You help us kill the devil and this is how you’re repaid?” Dean spits out, hands clenched into fists and nose flaring. Castiel only looks on wearily as he slowly pushes himself into a sitting position.
“There is no longer any reason for the angels to stay. The angels have left Earth,” Castiel says quietly, and Dean hears, the angels have left me. Dean is suddenly struck by the image of the Castiel of 2014, the bitter and broken drug and sex addict. He realizes that his Castiel is getting just that much bit closer to becoming that person and he wants to do nothing but hide him from the big bad world.
“Hey, you still got us, right? You don’t need those dickheads,” Dean says with a fake confidence that he’s afraid even Castiel can see through. Castiel only bows his head. “Really, Cas, I’m glad you came back. I. I was afraid I’d scared you off or something.”
Castiel lifts his head and tilts it in confusion, and Dean almost laughs at how familiar the gesture is.
“I would have come back eventually. I just needed some time to think. Unfortunately, my time was cut short when the angels left.” Castiel pauses and looks away from Dean. “I shouldn’t have come here. I could’ve hurt both of you. I…I did not want to be alone when I lost my grace.”
Dean is shocked by Castiel’s honesty, but knows that the confession reveals just how human Castiel was even in his last moments as an angel. “Hey, no. I-we’re glad you came here. That shit did not look like a lot of fun. You. You’ve got us now.”
The next moments are tense and quiet. Dean and Sam exchange questioning looks and shrugs while Castiel stares at his hands. Dean finally rolls his eyes and breaks the silence.
“Well, first things first. You are going to take a shower, my man.” Dean pauses. “You do know how to take a shower, right?”
“Yes, I know,” Castiel replies as he gingerly stands up. Dean starts to grab Castiel’s arm to help him up, but Castiel waves him off. Sam and Dean sit in silence and watch as Castiel closes the bathroom door behind him. Soon, they hear the sound of the shower and then a yelp. Dean starts and glances at Sam, who's staring back at him.
“Well, I’m not going in there,” Dean huffs, crossing his arms.
Sam rolls his eyes and gets up to knock on the bathroom door. “Cas, you okay in there?”
Sam reels back a little when the door suddenly opens and Castiel appears in the doorway. Dean’s breath catches when he catches a glimpse of Castiel’s naked body and he looks away quickly. “Yes, I’m fine. I did not expect the shower to be so cold when I turned it on.”
“Oh yeah, um, test the water with your hand before getting in,” Sam says, pointedly looking at Castiel’s face only. Castiel nods and closes the door. Sam stares at the closed door for moment before turning back to Dean. “This is gonna suck.”
Dean covers his face with his hands. “No shit, Sherlock.”
~~~
Dean feels like an older brother again. Sure, he’s still Sam’s older brother, but he knows Sam doesn’t need him like he used to. No, Dean feels like he did when he was thirteen, teaching Sammy how to hold a knife and load a gun. How to deal crippling blows and block punches. How to lie and cheat.
They start small, with disgruntled spirits and amateur witches, and don’t let Castiel do anything but watch for the first few weeks. Castiel is a fast learner, and it’s obvious that it’s due to his determination to be useful and not to be a burden.
It’s good to have a third man on the job again. They cover more ground, and life is just much less dangerous with one more person to back them up. It also means having one more person to worry about.
Dean would never admit it, but what scares him the most about Castiel being human is that Castiel sometimes forgets he’s no longer invincible.
Sometimes, Dean catches Castiel absentmindedly touching the car when it’s been in the sun for four hours or nicking himself on a blade. Shock and pain would flit across his face, quickly followed by frustration. In those moments, Dean wants to put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder or give him a reassuring look, but he only ever turns away.
~~~
Two weeks after his fall, Castiel has his first dream. Dean and Sam are already up when Castiel darts up in his bed, eyes wild and startled. “Dean,” Castiel chokes out.
Dean abandons the task of packing their bags in favor of rushing to Castiel’s side. “Hey, you okay?”
“You’re alive,” Castiel says in both relief and disbelief.
Dean quirks an eyebrow and glances at Sam, who just shrugs helplessly at him. “Course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I saw a vampire tear your neck apart. You were dead.” Castiel grabs Dean’s arms, as if to make sure he's real. “I thought you were dead.”
“Hey, it was just a dream. You were just dreaming,” Dean says gently, hands stroking Castiel’s hands. “ I ain’t going anywhere.”
~~~
In Mississippi, Dean wakes in the backseat of the Impala to techno music playing on the radio.
“What the fuck is that?” Dean contorts his face in revulsion.
Sam glances at the mirror and smirks at him. “Techno.”
“I enjoy this style of music. It is…entrancing,” Castiel informs him. Dean can see Castiel’s leg thumping against the car floor.
“Oh god, what have I done to deserve this?” Dean groans, burying his face in his hands.
~~~
In Minnesota, Dean is caught off guard by three demons in the parking lot of a diner. When he doesn’t return after half an hour, Sam calls Dean and gets his voice mail. The diner is a five minute walk from the motel, and when Sam gets there, he finds a full bag of food and Dean’s wallet abandoned in the parking lot.
It’s days like these that Sam thanks humanity for GPS.
By the time Sam and Castiel get to the decaying house Dean is holed up in, his chest is a gory mess and he shudders in pain with every breath. Sam and Castiel dispatch the demons with difficulty, but eventually untie Dean from the table and gingerly help him upright.
Even though it’s night, they’re still in the middle of a relatively busy town, so Sam and Castiel support Dean as they hurry out of the house and into the car. Castiel holds a steadily reddening towel to Dean chest as Sam speeds toward their motel and Dean winces with every bump in the road.
In their motel room, Sam patches Dean up while Castiel paces around them room, fuming. Dean watches Castiel warily as Sam wraps his chest in gauze.
“The sonuvabitches are dead now, Cas. What are you getting all worked up over?”
“I just-” Castiel starts to say, but cuts himself off, like his anger is jammed in his throat and won’t let his voice come through. Castiel growls in frustration before speaking again. “That should’ve never happened. I should’ve been able to get to you in a second and killed those demons without even trying.”
“Cas, that wasn’t your fault. If it was anyone’s, it was mine for letting them get the drop on me like that.”
“That’s not the point, Dean. I am-” Castiel sits down at the end of Dean’s bed and drops his face into his hands. “I am weak and powerless, Dean. I succumb to my desires and emotions so easily. I feel so small and insignificant.”
Dean and Sam are stunned into silence. Dean wishes he could say something to make it alright that Castiel used to be a powerful angel and is now slumming it with the humans, but he knows that there really anything that he can say that will.
“I’m going out,” Castiel mutters, getting to his feet and slamming the door behind him.
Sam sighs and says, “Let me get you some water and painkillers.”
Dean just nods, pulling himself into a sitting position with his pillow beneath his back. Sam riffles through his bag for the bottle of pills and tosses them over to Dean when he finds them. Sam starts toward the sink, but Dean’s already swallowed the painkillers dry, so he just settles down heavily on his bed. Dean is contemplating the merits of trying to reach the remote control when Sam speaks up.
“Hey, Dean. I’ve been thinking about something for a while.” Dean makes a noncommittal noise.
“Maybe it wouldn’t be such a crazy idea if we, y’know, settled down. Hear me out!” Sam says when Dean gives him a look of bewilderment and before Dean can start to protest. “You know how our story will end if we keep hunting. There’s almost no doubt that we will die early and violent deaths. Is it so bad for me to want something else?”
“We’re still alive, aren’t we? We do it because no one else does-”
Sam cuts him off. “Don’t pull that bullshit on me! It is not our responsibility!”
“It is, because we know what’s out there!” Dean shoots back.
“In case you haven’t noticed, we just survived the apocalypse! And we’re not the only ones! This entire world did! You think we’re the only ones who know what’s going on anymore?”
“We’re the only ones who know what we’re doing!”
“That’s not true and you know it! And you know what? You’re not Superman! One day, you will get hurt and you won’t be able to jump right back up. Then what am I left with?” Sam’s voice softens. “What is Cas left with?”
“Fuck this. This conversation is over.” Dean turns his head away from Sam and closes his eyes, lips pulled into a tight line and forehead tense.
“Dean. Come on.” Dean doesn’t move or speak, so Sam just huffs in exasperation and turns on his laptop.
When Castiel comes back into the room an hour later, he‘s holding a bag. He hands a strawberry milkshake to Sam, who nods at him, and offers a slice of cheesecake to Dean. Dean reaches for Castiel’s wrist instead and pulls him into a sitting position on the bed. Dean grabs the remote with some unease and turns on the television as Castiel kicks off his shoes and rests his legs on the bed. Dean opens the carton of cheesecake, digging a fork into the cake and offering it to Castiel. He holds back for a moment before wrapping his mouth around the fork. Dean’s heart jackhammers in his chest as Castiel licks the residue of cake off the fork. They finish the cheesecake together as they watch television. Dean is aware of the warmth from Castiel seeping against his side all night and tells himself he’s trembling because of the pain.
~~~
In Kentucky, Castiel asks Dean if he can drive. Dean laughs until Sam elbows him and he catches sight of Castiel’s serious face in the mirror.
“Dude, you don’t even know how to drive!” Dean exclaims.
“I’ve been observing your method and technique. I believe I understand how to drive.”
“That’s not the same thing!”
“No, but I have not had the chance to drive an actual car, and I am asking for that opportunity now.”
Dean glares at the rearview mirror, and Castiel gazes back unnervingly. Sam rolls his eyes. “Dude, just let him drive the car. He has to learn sometime.”
Dean and Castiel continue their staring contest for a minute, but Dean looks away first, wrenching open the car door and swearing, “Fucking fine. If you get even a scratch on her, I will end you.”
Dean thinks he sees Castiel smirk out of the corner of his eye, but he chooses to ignore it.
Castiel turns out to be a relatively good driver. He is meticulous and mechanical, which Dean isn‘t usually a fan of, but is okay with as long as his baby‘s okay. Dean is still on the verge of a panic attack the entire time Castiel is behind the wheel.
~~~
In Columbus, Montana, the Winchesters and Castiel investigate a sharp increase in drowning rates in Lake Helena.
Every witness has the same story. They see someone other than the victim splashing and panicking in the lake, and every time the victim swims over to help, both people in the lake disappear under water and never come back up.
When Sam and Castiel comes back from interviewing family members of the victims, Dean is lying on the vibrating bed with a look of bliss on his face. Sam pulls a face, and Castiel looks away.
“Can you get off that? We have work to do,” Sam scolds, pulling his tie off and tossing it at Dean. Dean holds up a finger, signaling for him to wait a moment. When the bed finally stops vibrating, Dean props himself up on the headboard and gives Sam a grin and a thumbs up. Castiel is red in the face.
“You okay there, Cas?” Dean asks. Castiel clears his throat and straightens up.
“I’m fine. Sam’s been teaching me how act and look around the family members of victims.” Castiel adjusts his face, scrunching up his eyebrows in concern and schooling his face into the ’I understand exactly what you’re going through right now, trust me’ look.
Dean hoots in delight. “You learned the puppy dog face!”
Sam rolls his eyes. “So, anyway, as far as I can tell, the two victims have anything in common except that they are both female. Thirty years ago, a cycle of drowning victims started. Every decade, one to five women would drown in the lake. There’d been no drownings in the lake before then. The first woman to die was Sally Robinson. The only family member still alive is her brother, so we can go talk to him and see if there’s a chance she’s our killer. Cas thinks it could be something else, so he’ll go to the library to check out other possibilities.”
Dean snaps his fingers and points at Sam. “Loch Ness.”
“No.”
“The Kraken?”
“Dean.”
Dean shrugs. “Just saying. You never know.”
“Sally’s brother lives on the other side of town, so we should get going.”
Dean springs up from the bed and claps Sam on the shoulder. “You go do that. Cas and I have an appointment at the pool.”
“What?” Castiel asks.
“Well, I figured now as good a time as any for you to learn how to swim. Might come in handy. Come on, I think I saw a public pool on the way here.”
Dean's walking out the door before either Sam or Castiel can protest, so Castiel just gives Sam a helpless shrug and follows Dean.
“You okay all on your own, Sam? Sure, I'll just interview the brother, and research, and do all the work. Why don't you guys go get spa treatments while you're at it?” Sam says to an empty room. “Jerks.”
~~~
Dean concedes that teaching Castiel to swim isn't really going well after Castiel comes out of the water coughing and sputtering for the fifth time, knocking into a girl who's swimming by.
“Whoa there, big boy,” the woman says as she holds Castiel steady by his arm. Castiel blinks water out of his eyes and coughs a few more times before he looks up to see the woman looking at him with happy eyes and an amused grin. “Looks like you’re having some trouble.”
“Learning to swim is…more difficult than I expected,” Castiel replies.
“Mind if I take the reins for a while, cowboy?” the woman says, looking at Dean expectantly.
Dean starts at the sudden question, but shrugs. “Sure. We’re not really getting anywhere.”
“Sweet.” She turns her attention back on Castiel. “I’m Gloria.”
“Castiel.”
“Hm, Castiel.” Gloria tests the name on her tongue. “I like it. Now, there’s a rhythm to swimming...”
~~~
By the time Dean pulls himself out of the water, Castiel and Gloria are still swimming around the pool and watching each other’s strokes. Castiel’s technique is better and he no longer swallows water by the mouthful.
“Hey, Cas. I’m gonna head out. You coming?”
Castiel wades to the edge of the pool. “Um, Gloria offered to show me around town. I was unable to refuse.”
Dean feels a sharp stab of jealousy, but grins and wiggles his eyebrows. “Looks like my boy is finally growing up! You show her a good time, now.”
“I will try,” Castiel says, giving him a small smile.
~~~
Columbus’ amusement park consists of a carousel starring faded, grimy animal statues and kid rides that see more visits from birds than children. The park’s about to close by the time Gloria and Castiel visit the park, but Gloria charms one last run out of the carousel operator. Gloria chooses a hideous, purple frog, and Castiel mounts a miserable-looking horse with a flaking bronze mane. Gloria gives the operator a thumbs up and Castiel almost falls off the horse when the ride jerks to life. Gloria whoops as the ride gains speed. Castiel grips the pole attached to the horse tightly, watching Gloria’s bangs whip into her face and her lips spread into a grin so familiar he has to remind himself who he’s with. The ride seems to spin impossibly fast, the world outside the carousel blurring.
After, Gloria brings him to a small, homey diner that “serves the most heavenly pancakes you will ever taste, I swear to God.” As they eat, she tells him stories about herself that coax startled laughs and astonished looks out of him. As she recounts the tales, Castiel watches Gloria’s eyebrows scrunch in concentration, her lips reveal a toothy grin, her neck bared when she tosses her head back to laugh unabashedly.
Gloria also persuades Castiel into telling her about himself. Dean and Sam warned him against telling civilians the truth, but he finds himself confessing his emotions and doubts about the life he’s led and actions that he’s taken without revealing too much about his actual life. Gloria is as good a listener as a story teller, and Castiel realizes Gloria gets the sense that he is older than he looks.
By the time they finish eating, it’s late enough that Castiel feels guilty about leaving Sam and Dean to do the work and says as much. Gloria grins at his sincerity, and nods. The motel isn’t far from the diner, so Gloria walks with him, pulling out her phone and asking him to put in his number. Castiel warns her that he probably won’t be in town for long, but she waves a dismissive hand and extracts Castiel’s phone from his pocket to enter her own number. The say goodbye with a hug.
When Castiel enters the motel room, Dean and Sam are already there, discussing the case. Dean grins when he catches sight of Castiel.
“How’d your date go?”
“Fine,” Castiel replies tersely as he shrugs off his jacket.
“Just fine? Come on, Cas. Don‘t hold out on me.”
“We went to the amusement park and then a diner.”
“That’s all? Did you at least kiss her?”
“We hugged.”
“Man, I should’ve known you were a lame date.”
“Not everyone is promiscuous, Dean.”
“…Did you just call me promiscuous?” Dean asks incredulously.
Castiel pointedly turns to Sam. “Did you find anything?”
Sam glances at his watch. “It’s late. We’ll fill you in in the morning. Just get some sleep now.”
“It’s fine. We can talk now,” Castiel protests.
“Speak for yourself. I’m dead on my feet,” Dean says, stretching and yawning dramatically. He flops onto his bed and closes his eyes, jeans still on. Castiel frowns but concedes, slipping into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
~~~
Sam fills him in the next day.
“Okay, so, I went to talk to Sally’s brother. Apparently, he was there the day of the drowning.”
“Let me guess. He saw Sally trying to save someone who was drowning.”
“Bingo. Get this - he was actually in the water with her.”
“And the thing only took her?”
“Yep.”
“So we’re dealing with some kind of sea creature that imitates a helpless, drowning victim and then takes the women who try to save it?”
“Looks like it.”
“I think I know what it is,” Castiel cuts in. Dean and Sam turn to him expectantly. “I think it’s a dracum.”
“Dracum?” Dean repeats.
“Yes. Draci are water spirits that prey on women. In the past, they assumed the form of wooden plates. When women reach out for the plates, the dracum grabs her and take her to the bottom of the water to take care of their young. I assume that this dracum has evolved and changed with the times. I believe the dracum drowns women until it finds what it believe to be the right one to take care of its young. The dracum is unable to sustain the woman’s life underwater for more than ten years, so that explains the cycle.”
“Great, now we know what it is. How do we kill it?”
“Well, lore says that water spirits usually lose their power when they’re out of the water, so if we can lure it onto land, we can probably kill it,” Sam interjects.
“How are we supposed to lure the thing? The thing only goes after women. Unless you have something to share with the class, Sammy, we’ve all got dicks.”
Sam valiantly ignores Dean’s dig. “I don’t know. We’ll figure out something. I‘ll stay here and see if I can find anything that can help us. You guys do recon at the lake. Maybe you can stumble upon something useful.”
“Alright, let’s go, Cas.”
“”Be careful, Dean. Just because this thing only takes women doesn’t mean it won’t kill you if it thinks you’re a threat. If you go into the water, make sure you can get out if you’re attacked.”
“You take me for an amateur, Sammy? I know what to do. Adios.”
Sam waves them goodbye as he turn on his laptop.
~~~
“Hey, Cas, is there someone already in the lake?” Dean says, gazing out at the lake and speeding the car up.
Castiel squints into the distance, shielding his eyes from the sun with a hand, His eyes widen in alarm when he realizes who’s in the lake.
“Gloria!” Castiel’s opening the door before the car even stops and he’s breaking into a run. Gloria is swimming toward someone else - something else - in the water. Castiel immediately realizes that it’s the dracum. The dracum is making a ruckus, pretending to thrash and creating waves and spatters of water.
“Wait!” Dean yells. Castiel looks back and barely slows down as Dean tosses the end of a rope to him. “Tie that around your waist!”
Castiel secures the rope firmly around his body as he sprints toward the lake. “Gloria!“ Castiel yells, waving frantically at her. Gloria breaks her stride to look up at the call, and her eyes lighten up in recognition.
“Hold on! Someone’s in trouble,” Gloria shouts back before picking up speed again.
“No, Gloria. Stop! It’s too dangerous!” Despite Castiel’s warning, she doesn’t stop or slow down. Castiel curses under his breath, diving into the lake as soon as he reaches the bank. Castiel is closer the dracum than Gloria is, but he knows he’s still an amateur swimmer at best and doesn’t let up.
Castiel lunges in front of Gloria, grabbing her by the waist before she can reach the dracum. She glances over her shoulder in confusion, hands trying to pry his arms off. “Cas, what are you doing?”
“That’s not a person, Gloria,” Castiel pants.
“Then what is it?” Gloria asks, still struggling half-heartedly to get out of his grip, and Castiel hesitates. He doesn’t know if she will believe him, and wants more than anything to be normal with Gloria. Before he can decide, though, he realizes that the splashing has stopped and darts his eyes behind Gloria. The water is calm and quiet.
Castiel barely has time to think, Shit-, before Gloria suddenly plunges under the surface. Castiel shoots his hand out to grab her arm before she’s complete submerged and he’s dragged down as well, sinking at an alarming rate. The rope around his waist suddenly tightens and the plummet stops as they jerk to a standstill in the water. Castiel takes the moment to pull Gloria to his chest and snake his arms around her waist again. He catches sight of the shape of the dracum beneath them in the murky water before they’re being hauled back up toward the surface swiftly.
When they break the surface, still being towed along by the rope, they gasp for air.
“Is there something still holding onto you?” Castiel asks, panting. Gloria’s eyes are panicked as she nod. In the distance, Castiel spots the Impala speeding away from the lake with the other end of the rope attached to the bumper. Grimly, he says, “Good.”
They tumble roughly onto the bank of the lake, and Dean’s out of the car and pulling the dracum off Gloria’ leg as soon as they roll to a stop, knife slicing its neck in one clean move.
Gloria’s stopped several feet away from Castiel, and her shoulders are shaking. Castiel starts at the sight and reaches for Gloria in an attempt to comfort her, but stops when she flops onto her back and he realizes that she’s laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” Castiel asks, eyebrows furrowed.
“Because I can,” she says between gasps of laughter. Oddly, Castiel realizes, she makes sense. “Holy shit, that was…fucked up.”
“Yeah.”
Her laugh peters out eventually and she turns toward him.
“Hey,” Gloria says softly. She leans into him and presses her lips against his, tongue slipping into his mouth. Castiel closes his eyes and kisses back slowly.
“What was that for?” Castiel asks.
“Figured I’d at least make out with you before your boy claimed you. He‘s so smitten,” she says, smirking. Castiel glances at Dean, who’s awkwardly standing with his back to them and darting his eyes toward them sporadically.
“He is not,” Castiel says, unconvincingly.
“Yeah, he kind of is,” Gloria comments, soft smile playing on her lips. “Also, thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Castiel replies, smiling softly. Gloria rises to her feet and stretches her hands out for Castiel to take. She helps him lift himself to his feet, and Dean finally turns around.
“I never officially introduced myself. I’m Gloria.” She sticks out a hand for Dean to shake. He takes it.
“Dean.”
“Nice to meet you.” Gloria’s features suddenly shift, a look of seriousness and determination on her face. “Promise me you’ll take care of him, Dean.”
Dean nods. “You have my word.”
~~~
After Sam scolds them for taking on the dracum on their own, they take quick showers while Sam goes out for food. When Castiel comes out of the shower, Dean tosses a beer can to him.
“Celebratory beers,” Dean says cheerfully.
“Thank you.” Castiel opens the beer can and takes a long gulp as he settles down on the edge of a bed. He notices Dean gazing at him in contemplation out of the corner of his eye, but doesn’t comment.
“You really liked Gloria, huh?” Dean asks as he sits down next to Castiel.
“I did. She was one of a kind.”
“I’m sorry you had to leave her behind.”
Castiel looks at Dean oddly. “It‘s what you‘ve done all your life, and I can learn to do so as well.”
“It’s just. I’m sorry that this is the only life that we can give you.”
“Why? What is wrong with this life?”
Dean laughs humorlessly. “Do you really have to ask?”
“I understand how you feel, but-” Castiel bites his lip in trepidation and looks away from Dean, putting his can on the floor. “I don’t believe another kind of life is worth living if it is without you.”
Dean is stunned into silence for a moment, his chest hot and tight, before he recovers. “Dude, are you going to propose next?”
“Dean,” Castiel says exasperatedly. “I am being serious.”
“Really? I couldn’t tell, seeing as everything you say sounds-” Castiel pulls Dean to him and slots his lips over Dean’s before he can finish his sentence.
Dean inhales sharply, dropping his can, but doesn’t even take five seconds to respond, because all his desire and lust is spilling from him like blood from an open wound.
Pent-up lust is radiating from Castiel as well, whose hands are suddenly everywhere, on his face, his neck, skating under his shirt and up his back. All the while, he’s kissing Dean hard, throaty sounds leaking from his mouth.
“This is a bad idea,” Castiel mutters against Dean’s cheek when they break off a moment.
“I know,” Dean replies before catching his lips again.
Dean pushes Castiel down lightly, tugging him up the sheets until his legs are on bed. He lines up their bodies, mouth to mouth, chest to chest. When they pull their mouths apart to gasp for air, Castiel’s eyes are wild as his hips grind up at against Dean. Their thrusts become frantic and erratic, but when the friction isn’t enough, Dean tugs down the zipper of Castiel’s pants and slips his hand in to touch his cock. Castiel gets with the program and does the same, stroking Dean’s cock roughly, but in earnest. It’s not long before they’re spilling into each other’s hands, and Dean flops over next to Castiel, panting.
“Dean, I need to know how you feel,” Castiel says seriously, turning his head. “ I need to know that meant something to you.”
“Ugh, can’t we just enjoy the post-coital moment in peace,’ Dean groans.
“Dean.” Dean flicks his eyes to Castiel, who’s gazing at him with pleading eyes. Dean feel vulnerable and exposed all of a sudden.
“Like Gloria said, I am smitten,” Dean jokes with a weak grin. For a moment, he’s afraid that Castiel will ask for more, more than he knows how to give, but Castiel only nods and smiles.
“So am I.”
~~~
Dean hates werewolf cases. Not as much as Sam does, but Dean doubts there are many people who hate werewolf cases as much as Sam does. He hates the moral ambiguity, hates how long they can take, hates dealing with the werewolves when they’re human. But he deals, because it’s what he does.
Dean categorizes injuries into fixable, hospital, and fucked. Most injuries go into the fixable category, but sometimes, luck just isn’t on their side, and they need to go to the hospital. Their wounds rarely fall into the fucked category, and they make sure it stays that way, because fucked means getting electrocuted and having a heart attack or getting stabbed in the spine.
Right now, Castiel is definitely in the hospital category, bordering on fucked.
They pinpointed their probable candidate earlier that day, and planned to keep him in the house by any means necessary until the moon was up and they were sure they had their monster. Things didn’t go according to plan, and the guy managed to slip away. By the time they caught up with him in an abandoned warehouse, he’d already transformed.
The werewolf nearly body slammed Dean into the wall, but Castiel had caught sight of it out of the corner of his eye a second before it attacked and had made a split second decision between raising his gun and tackling Dean. Castiel leaped for Dean and shoved him down as the werewolf sidelined him instead, slamming him into the wall so violently that Dean practically feels his ribcage rattle. The pained gasp that tore from Castiel and the crack of bones had been enough to have Dean up and his gun cocked, but Sam beat him to it and the werewolf collapsed to the floor. Dean sprung over the werewolf’s body as soon as it hit the floor to get to Castiel.
Now he’s muttering curses as he kneels down next to Castiel’s body and inspects the damage. Castiel’s head is bleeding profusely and there are bruises on his face and body from the impact with the wall. Dean’s pretty sure that Castiel has at least two broken ribs and he knows there’s a good chance that he has internal bleeding as well. Dean digs his car keys out of his pockets and tosses them to Sam, who’s looking on with concern. Dean kneels back down to pick Castiel up as gingerly as possible, and grimly says to Sam, “Hospital.”
~~~
Dean’s slumped in a chair in front of the doors to the ICU and there are two doors and four strangers between Dean and Castiel, when all he wants is to be near him.
“Okay,” Dean says suddenly, without looking away from the doors to the ICU.
“Okay?” Sam repeats, eyebrows furrowed.
“Okay. If Cas gets out of this alive, we should settle down. Live life properly. With a house and a picket fence and a fucking dog.” Dean’s face is weary and grim and Sam thinks that’s as close to a prayer as Dean will ever make.
“That better not be an empty promise,” Sam warns.
“No, I mean it. I,” Dean swallows, and then starts again, “You were right. People who live like we do die young and violently. And. I don’t want that for us. We deserve a happy ending. Cas deserves to live a normal life.”
Even though Dean only mentions Castiel at the last moment, Sam knows he’s been thinking about him the entire time.
“Cas will be okay, Dean. He’s survived a lot. A scratch from a werewolf isn’t going to kill him," Sam says softly. Dean nods and takes a deep breath. “So, you got a place in mind to settle down?”
Dean turns to Sam with a quirked eyebrow. “No. Do you?”
Sam smirks. “Remember Sarah Blake?”
Dean snorts. “You sly dog. You’ve been thinking about this for a while, huh? Yeah, I remember her.”
~~~
Dean loses track of the time it takes for Castiel’s doctor to come out of the ICU, but when she does, she’s smiling and Dean‘s entire body heaves a relieved sigh.
“He’s stable and conscious. I recommended that he rest, but he insisted on seeing Dean and Sam first,” she says.
Dean glances at Sam and says, “Can I…”
Sam nods. “Go ahead.”
Sam stays seated while Dean follows the doctor into the ICU. “Make it quick and don’t let him strain himself.”
Dean nods as they stop in front of a room and the doctor puts a soothing hand on his shoulder before she leaves. He closes his eyes for a moment and then opens the door. Castiel turns his head slowly and smiles tiredly when he sees who it is. Dean can see a bone-deep weariness in Castiel’s face and entire body, and he wonders if it’s always been there and he’d just never noticed.
“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greets as Dean sits down next to the bed.
“Hey, Cas,” Dean replies. “How are you feeling?”
“Like a werewolf tackled me into a wall.”
Dean huffs a laugh. “No shit.”
“I will recover.”
“Good. Good.” Dean takes a deep breath. “So, Sam and I were thinking of staying in one place for a while.”
Castiel frowns. “We do not need to stop hunting for my sake.”
“Hey, this isn’t just because you got hurt. Sam and I have been thinking about this for a while. Figured we deserved a break. Don't you think so?”
“Yes, I suppose so.”
“You okay with that?”
Castiel wrinkles his forehead in thought and nods. “Yes. I am content to follow whatever course of action you believe to be best.”
Dean makes a noise of frustration. “Cas, don’t you get it? I-” Dean’s voice softens. “I care about you. You get a say in this, too. Do you want to do this?”
Castiel is silent for a moment. “I. I would like that.”
Dean grins.
~~~
Sarah Blake lives in New Paltz, New York, which is big enough of a town that Dean and Sam are uncomfortable settling in, but Sundown is only 10 miles away and small enough that no one looks too closely at their fake papers and IDs. Sarah helps the brothers and Castiel find a cheap, two bedroom house at the edge of town. When Dean pulls up to the house, the real estate agent waves at them from the window. Sam and Castiel unfold out of the car as soon as Dean cuts the engine. Sam strides directly up to the agent to shake her hand, but Castiel pauses when Dean doesn‘t move from his seat..
Dean's hand are gripping the steering wheel tightly and staring ahead when Castiel slides in next to him. There is a moment of silence before Dean says, “I don't know how to do this, Cas. I don’t know how to stay in one place. Get a real job. Commit to this kind of life.”
“I don't know how to do this either. But-” Castiel spares Dean a glance as he hesitates. “Perhaps we can learn together.”
Dean lets out a shaky laugh. “The pair of us doing normal. What a picture.”
Castiel just rests his hand on Dean’s until he lets go of the steering wheel and meets Castiel‘s eye. Castiel gives him a small smile, and says, “Let’s go inside.”
Dean exhales loudly, forcing a grin onto his face and saying, “Alright! Let’s do this.” He gestures at the car door. “Ladies first.”
~~~
Two Years Later
Dean wakes up to something heavy on his thighs, and instinct has him reaching under his pillow. Sam made a face when he found out Dean was still keeping a gun under his pillow, but Dean argued that there were still monsters in the world even if they weren't actively hunting them, and that was the end of the discussion.
When Dean opens his eyes, he sees Castiel on top of him, gazing at him with half-lidded eyes and an amused smile. Dean lets go of his gun with a huff.
“Expecting someone else?” Castiel asks, voice sly and sleep-rough.
“Shut up, it doesn’t hurt to be careful,” Dean mutters, letting his eyes flutter closed. “And I liked it better when you weren’t such a smartass.”
“No, you don’t.” Castiel leans down to kiss Dean’s eyelids. “And I learned from the best.”
Dean just grumbles unintelligently and lets Castiel slide his lips over his. He hums into Castiel’s mouth as Castiel slips his tongue along Dean’s lips and between them. Castiel starts grinding his hips against Dean in excruciatingly slow thrusts, and Dean grunts in frustration. Castiel pulls away from Dean’s mouth, but before he can complain, Castiel’s mouth is gliding along Dean’s neck and collarbone, teeth worrying at the skin. Slithering down Dean’s body slowly, Castiel's mouth sucks at the skin of Dean's smooth chest and hard stomach. Dean’s stomach quivers against Castiel’s lips as he lets out a happy sigh.
Castiel finally slides his mouth down Dean’s cock, tongue skating along the underside. Dean hums in appreciation and threads his fingers through Castiel’s hair as Castiel dips his mouth on and off his cock. When Castiel pulls off and slithers back up Dean’s body, knees bracketing Dean’s waist, Dean asks, “Lube?”
“I’m good,” Castiel murmurs, grabbing Dean’s hand and guiding it down to his hole, where Dean’s fingers slip in easily.
“Well, well, well. Look who started the show without me.” Dean grins as he fucks his fingers into Castiel.
Castiel huffs exasperatedly. “Fuck me already.”
Dean complies, guiding his cock to Castiel’s hole and sliding home. Castiel grunts as he sinks down, hands settled firmly on Dean’s chest. He lifts off his haunches until Dean’s cock almost slips out, then slides back down.
Dean watches through half-lidded eyes and rolls his hips as Castiel rocks up and down, his head thrown back and the expanse of his neck exposed and gleaming with sweat. As Castiel rides him, he makes soft, keening noises that shoot right to Dean’s groin.
Dean decides that Castiel is going too slow for his taste, and suddenly flips them over. Castiel widens his eyes in surprise, but they squeeze shut as soon as Dean starts driving into him. He wraps his legs around Dean’s waist and hauls him closer, mouth falling open to emit filthy, breathy moans and hand stroking his cock.
Dean fall over the edge quickly, pounding into Castiel erratically as he rides the waves of pleasure. Castiel’s hand picks up speed on his cock, and soon enough, he’s coming all over his own chest. Dean slips out his cock out of him and collapses on Castiel, panting.
“Good?” Castiel asks, voice rough and out of breath.
“Ngh,” Dean says.
Castiel chuckles. “Alright. Come on. Up. It‘s almost seven.”
“And?”
“And you’ll be late to work, and I know you’re terrified of Sadie.”
“Fuck you, I am not,” Dean mumbles, even as he’s getting up. “I’m going to shower, and you’re not allowed in.”
“Uh huh,” Castiel says, eyes following Dean’s ass as he walks out of the bedroom.
Castiel slips into the shower with Dean five minutes later, wrapping his arms around Dean’s waist. “I’m sorry I insulted your manhood,” he murmurs into Dean’s shoulder. Dean humphs at the apology, but relaxes in his arms. Castiel smiles against Dean’s skin.
~
Castiel’s in the kitchen making pancakes when Dean comes out of the bathroom dressed and groomed. The coffee’s already done and Dean makes a beeline for it. He pours himself a cup and settles down on a chair, sagging down in his seat and fluttering his eyelids as he inhales the smell of coffee. Castiel smiles bemusedly at him as he brings over the pancakes. Castiel likes to amuse himself by making pancakes in different shapes. Today’s pancakes look vaguely like fish.
When Dean reaches for the maple syrup, Castiel pulls it away. “What the fuck, Cas?”
“Sam says you should start eating healthier.”
“And you listened to him?”
“He’s smarter than you.”
Dean makes an indignant noise and swipes at Castiel to an attempt to retrieve the bottle of syrup, but Castiel steps out of reaching distance, concealing the bottle behind his back.
“I’m not even going to bother,” Dean grumbles, turning back to his coffee.
“Dean, hold that pose.” Castiel darts into their bedroom before Dean can question him, so he just holds still. When Castiel comes back out with a drawing pad and several pencils. Dean quirks an eyebrow at him, but doesn’t move. Castiel puts his pencil to paper and sketches for a few minutes.
“Done,” Castiel announces. Dean makes grabby hands at the pad and Castiel hesitantly hands it over. The drawing’s obviously rough given the time it took to draw, but the resemblance to Dean is unmistakable. Dean’s lips are pulled into a slightly pout as he hunches over a cup of steaming coffee, the shadow of Dean falling over the kitchen table and the lines in his face evident.
“Whoa, Cas. When did you learn to draw?”
“I've been practicing at the library.” Castiel almost looks shy.
“This is awesome!” Dean flips through the entire pad. There are detailed drawings of library patrons hunched over books, and children arranged in a circle around an animated speaker. Dean glimpses pictures of people sleeping on the library couches with open mouths and a child drawing with crayons. “Why didn't you show me these before?”
Castiel shrugs. “I didn't know they were worth showing.”
“Course they are! My boy's an artiste,” Dean says, grinning.
~
When Dean comes home, Castiel is reading Cat‘s Cradle on the couch. Castiel looks up when the door slams shut, lips pulled into a frown and eyebrows furrowed.
“Hey, Cas. What’s up?”
“I called the Sadie’s Auto Shop today because you weren’t picking up your cellphone and I wanted to tell you that Sam invited us for dinner, but Sadie informed me that you haven’t worked there in two weeks. Care to explain?”
Dean freezes. “It’s not what you think, Cas.”
“I don’t think anything. I just want to know what you’ve been up to.”
“I swear I was going to tell you. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t making a mistake. I entered the firefighter’s training program in the city.”
Castiel raises an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”
“Dude, we walked away from hunting because it was gonna get us killed. I didn’t think you would support me walking back into the fire. Literally.”
“Dean. I know you. The desire to help others is inscribed into your very being. You cannot fight your nature. I’m not stupid. I know you walked away from hunting because of me. You would probably still be hunting if I had not entered the picture.”
Dean slides into Castiel’s lap and smiles slyly. “And you know what? I’m glad you did. My life is better for it. And don’t you forget that.”
Dean ducks his head down to suck on Castiel’s ear, sliding his hand under his shirt. Castiel’s breath hitches.
“I’m not mad at you, Dean. You don’t have to distract me.”
“Hm, but I want to,” Dean murmurs as he unzips Castiel’s jeans.
“And who am I to impede on your desires?” Castiel says, letting his head fall back. “But, just so you know, Sam will be pissed when he finds out about the training program.”
“Ugh, I know. Now shut up and let me undress you.” Castiel does.
~~~
Castiel believes that Christmas has been corrupted by the capitalist agenda, but he knows the holiday represents family and normalcy for Dean (and he enjoys putting up decorations), so he indulges Dean’s enthusiasm.
“Cas, what is this?”
“What does it look like? It’s our Christmas tree. Do you want to help me put up the ornaments?”
“No, this is not a tree. This is a branch. Why did you get a branch?”
“No one else wanted it.”
“There was a reason.”
“Dean, it is a perfectly adequate tree! Now help me hang up the tinsel.”
~~~
Dean rings Sam’s doorbell.
“Do you think I brought enough food, Dean?” Castiel asks, concerned.
Dean stares at the trays of food piled in Castiel’s arms. “Cas, stop worrying. You brought more than enough food.”
Sarah opens the door as Castiel nods. “Happy Christmas Eve, guys!” Sarah exclaims, pulling Dean into a hug. Sarah embraces Castiel around the trays before taking them into her own arms.
“It smells awesome in here,” Dean comments as he enters the house. Sam’s in the dining room, setting food down on the table.
“Hey!” Sam greets when he catches sight of Dean and Castiel. “Glad you guys could make it.”
“Oh man, me too,” Dean says, mouth practically salivating at the sight of their dinner table.
Sam rolls his eyes. “Come on. Sit down and dig in.”
“Sorry we won’t be around tomorrow. You know how my parents are about visiting on Christmas,” Sarah apologizes as they start eating.
“Yeah, yeah, I know. It‘s too bad you‘re gonna have all the fun,” Dean says dryly.
“You’re welcome to come, Dean.”
“No offense, Sarah, but I’d rather take on a wendigo with my bare hands than spend a minute with your parents,” Dean replies, mouth half-full with chicken.
“Dean,” Sam reprimands.
“Okay, maybe like a low level demon.”
“No offense taken,” Sarah says grinning. “My dad can be mean when he wants to be. It’s too bad you bring out the worst in him.”
“See, Sam. Even Sarah gets my point.”
Sam graciously changes the subject. “I’m glad it‘s Christmas vacation. I love the kids, but teenagers are so stubborn.”
“Yeah, well, that’s karma for ya. Shouldn’t have been such a pain in the ass as a kid.”
“Fuck off.”
“Sam! Not now,” Sarah says sharply.
“Sorry, hun,” Sam apologizes sheepishly.
Dean snickers and mimics cracking a whip at Sam. Castiel looks at Dean sternly and Dean puts his hands down.
Sam grins. “So who’s up for a game of Scrabble after dinner?”
Castiel perks up. Dean groans.
~~~
“Holy crap, what did you get me? A midget hooker?”
“Dean.” Castiel’s face looks stern, but Dean can see a smile tugging at his lips.
“Aw, don’t use that tone with me, baby. I get that enough from Sam. Did you forget to poke holes in the box?”
Castiel rolls his eyes. “Just open it.”
Dean plucks the bow off and tears the wrapping paper away with gusto, uncovering a large white box. Dean opens the flaps and digs his hands into the peanuts until his fingers touch something metal cold and solid, pulling it out in a shower of peanuts to reveal a sleek, auburn acoustic guitar.
“Cas…” Dean feels breathless. “She’s a beauty.”
Castiel gives him a delighted grin. “I thought you might like to learn to play guitar. Learn to play some classic rock. Maybe write your own songs. Also, you need a better hobby than watching porn.”
“Hey, that’s a perfectly reasonable hobby.” Dean slides his hand down the neck of the guitar and along its curves. “Thank you, Cas. Your turn!”
Dean hands him an envelope, biting his lip. Castiel tears open the envelope neatly, slipping a single piece of paper out of it and unfolding it.
“Sunrise Coffee Presents Artwork By Castiel Winston,” Castiel reads out loud. “Dean, is this…a flyer?”
“You never show your art to anyone except me, and I thought that kind of talent should be shared with the world. We could even do some kind of charity thing and get people to buy drawings and donate the money somewhere. I know you like that kind of stuff.” When Castiel remains speechless, Dean hastily adds, “Or not! I probably shouldn’t have assumed. Never mind, I’ll just get you something-”
“Thank you,” Castiel interrupts. “This is wonderful.”
Castiel pulls him Dean into a deep kiss, dropping the envelope in favor of cupping Dean’s face. “Thank you,” Castiel repeats.
Dean chuckles. “You’re welcome. You know, I’m not done yet.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve got a shiny new toy for us to play with upstairs,” Dean says mischievously. “You in?”
“Always.”
~~~
When Dean calls, Sam is trying to get the new coffeemaker he bought to work.
“Hey, Dean. What’s up?” Sam says, squinting at the instructions.
“Life or death situation, come over,” Dean replies gravely. Sam is halfway out the door, socks mismatched and dirty shirt hastily pulled on, when he hears Castiel’s muffled voice in the background saying, “Dean, don’t worry your brother like that. It is not a life and death situation.”
Sam pauses on his front porch. “What’s going on?”
Sam hears rustling and indignant yelling for a few seconds, then Castiel’s voice comes through clearly. “Dean would like you to come over and settle a mild dispute.”
“Is it that important?” Sam asks. He hears Dean yell, Yes!.
“I’ll be over in ten minutes,” Sam says as he goes back inside to change.
~
When Sam comes over, Dean and Castiel are intently watching Dr. Sexy M.D.
“Seriously?” Sam asks incredibly.
“Never question a man about his soap operas,” Dean replies without taking his eyes off the television screen. Castiel nods in agreement. “Anyway, I need you to tell Castiel I’m right.”
“Right about what?”
“Okay, so, Dr. Ellen Piccolo - you might remember her as the sexy yet earnest doctor - is dating Dr. Collins, the rugged yet sensitive heart surgeon. Her childhood best friend, Dr. Ross starts working at the hospital and Dr. Piccolo falls in love with him. Dr. Piccolo resolves to tell Dr. Collins, but when she approaches him, he faints before she can tell him anything. They discover that he has an incurable brain tumor! And what does she decide to do? She doesn’t tell him about her affair!”
Castiel interrupts. “What use would that information be to him?”
“What do you mean what use? It would’ve been the truth!”
“What is the point of telling a dying man that his girlfriend is in love with another man?”
“What? So you lie to him?”
“If it protects him, yes.”
“Sam! What do you think?”
Sam just stares at Dean and Castiel for a long moment. They stare back earnestly. “And we couldn’t have done this over the phone?”
“You would’ve hung up on me.”
“Okay, so I’m leaving now,” Sam says as he walks back toward the front door.
“Wait, you didn’t answer my question!” Dean calls out.
“Get a marital therapist,” Sam shouts as he slams the door shut.
~~~
Sometimes, Dean will feel like the life he’s established is suffocating him, disillusionment muddling his mind. The air in his house will become thin and his heartbeat will pound in his ears, his doubts and insecurities filling his mind. In those moments, Dean will hurl himself into his car and drive. He will drive out of town and onto the open road, where he practically feels the cracked concrete beneath the Impala’s wheels, and only sees the unending sky above and ahead of him. The wind will howl in his ears and blow relentlessly against his face, and he will feel uninhibited and timeless. Then the ringing and vibrating of his phone will throw him out of his trance, and Castiel will be on the line telling him to come home. He will spin his car around and do just that.