The night of... (prequel to "The Morning After" perhaps?)
I told her. She told asked if I was okay, and if I was alright to drive. I said yes, and she responded with "Goodnight." Somehow I had thought it would go differently. Isn't that how movies go?
We had dinner together and she told me to call her when I got home. On the way home I turned down her street and ended up pulling into her parking lot right after her. I got out and she was (rightfully so) frightened at first. She kept asking me if I was okay and I just said "Yes".
She asked why I was there and I said, "You know how you always regret the things you don't do more than the things that you do?"
"Yeah, I guess so. Why?"
"Then I wanted you to know how much I really like you."
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Why wouldn't things be alright?"
"Are you okay to drive?"
"Yeah."
short pause, then I speak again
"Well I can't say I had thought through this much past where it is now I guess..."
"Well...alright. Goodnight"
At which point she gives me a weak hug which I suppose was out of pity.
"Goodnight."
"Call me when you get home."
"Okay"
So I drive home and I call her.
"Hullo?" in that voice that always made me laugh before, but this time it was different somehow. Somehow less excited.
"Hi."
"Are you home?"
"Yeah, I'm home...I guess I just couldn't let my night end without making an ass out of myself."
"You didn't make an ass out of yourself."
"Yeah...okay."
"Goodnight."
"Night."
I wish I could say that was a shortened version of what actually happened, but in the end...thats the whole thing. There was nothing more, nothing less.
Perhaps it was listening too much to Dave Matthews Band, too many nights spent alone in my bed, too many times thinking about how much I missed my relationships in the past while they were good, too many mornings waking up and opening my eyes to see her sleeping next to me in her bed, or the conversation about how its been 10 months without sex. Realisticly, I think it could have been a combination of all of them except the last. I really don't think that played a part in it all, otherwise I would have done something earlier and it wouldn't have really mattered too much. I just hope in the end I didn't fuck up a really cool friendship. Why am I not capable of keeping female friends? I always end up dating any girl I ever become close to and then become just friends with them after the relationship. Whatever the reason...I'm thinking about how great a beer would be right now. I might just go get one.
We had dinner together and she told me to call her when I got home. On the way home I turned down her street and ended up pulling into her parking lot right after her. I got out and she was (rightfully so) frightened at first. She kept asking me if I was okay and I just said "Yes".
She asked why I was there and I said, "You know how you always regret the things you don't do more than the things that you do?"
"Yeah, I guess so. Why?"
"Then I wanted you to know how much I really like you."
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Why wouldn't things be alright?"
"Are you okay to drive?"
"Yeah."
short pause, then I speak again
"Well I can't say I had thought through this much past where it is now I guess..."
"Well...alright. Goodnight"
At which point she gives me a weak hug which I suppose was out of pity.
"Goodnight."
"Call me when you get home."
"Okay"
So I drive home and I call her.
"Hullo?" in that voice that always made me laugh before, but this time it was different somehow. Somehow less excited.
"Hi."
"Are you home?"
"Yeah, I'm home...I guess I just couldn't let my night end without making an ass out of myself."
"You didn't make an ass out of yourself."
"Yeah...okay."
"Goodnight."
"Night."
I wish I could say that was a shortened version of what actually happened, but in the end...thats the whole thing. There was nothing more, nothing less.
Perhaps it was listening too much to Dave Matthews Band, too many nights spent alone in my bed, too many times thinking about how much I missed my relationships in the past while they were good, too many mornings waking up and opening my eyes to see her sleeping next to me in her bed, or the conversation about how its been 10 months without sex. Realisticly, I think it could have been a combination of all of them except the last. I really don't think that played a part in it all, otherwise I would have done something earlier and it wouldn't have really mattered too much. I just hope in the end I didn't fuck up a really cool friendship. Why am I not capable of keeping female friends? I always end up dating any girl I ever become close to and then become just friends with them after the relationship. Whatever the reason...I'm thinking about how great a beer would be right now. I might just go get one.