(no subject)
Today was quit a bit better than yesterday. Basicly, though, I think that is due to the fact that I had a great deal of chemical influence. I took 2 caffien pills. I know I'm in a rut, and I shouldnt be at 16...but I'll get through it, like I always seem to.
I did however make great strides because I wrote today. I WROTE! It's been so long since I've written anything. I mean, I've written journal stuff, but this is the first creative, emotion filled thing I've written in awhile...and I was pretty happy with it.
Techna-colored dream girl
fly away from here.
It's too dark here and your beauty will fade.
Your electric sparkle may flicker and spark
and your fiery may flame into ecstatic chaos
but girl, soon you will dim and die and I couldn't bring you back.
I wouldn't know how.
I wouldn't know how to love you enough.
Enough friction to start that flame behind your eyes
would require a full heart,
a heart that I don't have.
I've given half to someone else,
I know I promised it to you
but it's too late for all that.
I know that the butterfly wings that carried you here
are torn by such thrashing and violence
but girl, please go,
I couldn’t stand to see your colors fade.
I also wrote these today, but I wasnt as happy with them... but still...
She dances in the fiasco of tears that rain down
on the bleeding hearts.
You’re the only pain she’s ever felt,
but the knick and cuts that shows your mark
have long past healed.
Yet the scar is still here, right on her heart
that still screams for you,
and your eyes are what she calls for!
These chemical influences, her only escape.
Artificial happiness makes her painfully numb.
No more pain can pass through.
Too numb on the outside to feel it on the inside.
How does she let it all out,
this overpowering painful numbness?
Just because she can’t cry
doesn’t mean she cant bleed.
~~~~~
“..and I’m falling” she’s crying
As she stands up perfectly straight
Her eyes hazed out and black with no sleep
Is she focusing on me? Or on something lost
Somewhere in the past
She’s crying now, those imaginary tears that
Never seem to stop, but the tissues stay dry
And she screams and screams the cries in
Her mind
But I cant hear. I cant hear!
Is it something wrong with me?
No, it’s her. It’s her damn dreams that
Thrust her forward when there’s no room to
Go forward
“It hurts, it hurts!” she keeps screaming
Then why do you press that blade deeper girl?
I did however make great strides because I wrote today. I WROTE! It's been so long since I've written anything. I mean, I've written journal stuff, but this is the first creative, emotion filled thing I've written in awhile...and I was pretty happy with it.
Techna-colored dream girl
fly away from here.
It's too dark here and your beauty will fade.
Your electric sparkle may flicker and spark
and your fiery may flame into ecstatic chaos
but girl, soon you will dim and die and I couldn't bring you back.
I wouldn't know how.
I wouldn't know how to love you enough.
Enough friction to start that flame behind your eyes
would require a full heart,
a heart that I don't have.
I've given half to someone else,
I know I promised it to you
but it's too late for all that.
I know that the butterfly wings that carried you here
are torn by such thrashing and violence
but girl, please go,
I couldn’t stand to see your colors fade.
I also wrote these today, but I wasnt as happy with them... but still...
She dances in the fiasco of tears that rain down
on the bleeding hearts.
You’re the only pain she’s ever felt,
but the knick and cuts that shows your mark
have long past healed.
Yet the scar is still here, right on her heart
that still screams for you,
and your eyes are what she calls for!
These chemical influences, her only escape.
Artificial happiness makes her painfully numb.
No more pain can pass through.
Too numb on the outside to feel it on the inside.
How does she let it all out,
this overpowering painful numbness?
Just because she can’t cry
doesn’t mean she cant bleed.
~~~~~
“..and I’m falling” she’s crying
As she stands up perfectly straight
Her eyes hazed out and black with no sleep
Is she focusing on me? Or on something lost
Somewhere in the past
She’s crying now, those imaginary tears that
Never seem to stop, but the tissues stay dry
And she screams and screams the cries in
Her mind
But I cant hear. I cant hear!
Is it something wrong with me?
No, it’s her. It’s her damn dreams that
Thrust her forward when there’s no room to
Go forward
“It hurts, it hurts!” she keeps screaming
Then why do you press that blade deeper girl?