(no subject)
Angie: When's the best day to tell someone horrible news?
Oscar: Yesterday?
- Baby Mama
karmicunderpath: We'll wear garbage bags with belts and make a statement!
22by7: As long as they're not used garbage bags. I do have SOME hygiene standards haha
karmicunderpath: Well OBVIOUSLY. We can have a whole wardrobe of them! White, black, green, those orange ones you can only get at Hallowe'en, and we'll really make a statement when we wear our translucent ones....
Emily: I don't understand...They're going to kill us?
Dean: Sacrifice us. Which is, I don't know, classier I guess.
- Supernatural episode 1.11
"I don't listen to what other people say about the business. 'Well, several hundred actors move to LA every day.' Well, that's fine. But as soon as you begin to listen to that, to agree with that... well, that's what becomes real to you. And then you start to think that way - that maybe you don't have as good a shot at it, blah, blah, blah. That's when you get into trouble, when you start agreeing with other people's negative ideas. I mean, chances are, that's an unemployed actor saying that to you anyway, right?" - Jason Dohring
Stephen: You say that you think golf is different for the men than it is for women. How is it different for the men?
Carl Hiaasen: Well I think that for men every round of golf is sort of a journey into the darkest part of your soul. And I think for women it's a sport. That's the main difference that I've been able to tell.
- The Colbert Report
Five-year-old boy: How old are you?
Tutor: Twenty.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah, well, do you know how to make a monkey?
- overheardeverywhere.com
"When we find ourselves believing that killing a man makes us more of a man, but loving a man makes us less of a man, it's probably time to reexamine our criteria for manhood." - unknown
"She likes to exercise, but she doesn’t know how to count calories ('You know how some girls look at the back of the [food] label?' she asks. 'I’m like, ‘What are you looking at?''), and she illustrates this point by describing an odd experience she had keeping a food diary for a magazine article. 'I was honest and said, ‘Well, I smoked pot and then ate this and that,’ and they left all this shit out! Come on! You need that to justify why I ate a sweet potato at 12 o’ clock at night! Then they wrote, like, 'Amy doesn’t sleep too well because of all the sugar that she eats at 8 o' clock at night.' I was like, 'Fuck you!' I didn’t know they were going to critique it!" - Interview with Amy Sedaris in the June/July issue of BUST Magazine.
"I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, “hi.” They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word." - Augusten Burroughs
"A lot of successful people are risk-takers. Unless you're willing to do that... to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won't happen." - Phillip Adams
"YouTube has destroyed my ability to know whether I am bored or entertained." - Patton Oswalt
Oscar: Yesterday?
- Baby Mama
karmicunderpath: We'll wear garbage bags with belts and make a statement!
22by7: As long as they're not used garbage bags. I do have SOME hygiene standards haha
karmicunderpath: Well OBVIOUSLY. We can have a whole wardrobe of them! White, black, green, those orange ones you can only get at Hallowe'en, and we'll really make a statement when we wear our translucent ones....
Emily: I don't understand...They're going to kill us?
Dean: Sacrifice us. Which is, I don't know, classier I guess.
- Supernatural episode 1.11
"I don't listen to what other people say about the business. 'Well, several hundred actors move to LA every day.' Well, that's fine. But as soon as you begin to listen to that, to agree with that... well, that's what becomes real to you. And then you start to think that way - that maybe you don't have as good a shot at it, blah, blah, blah. That's when you get into trouble, when you start agreeing with other people's negative ideas. I mean, chances are, that's an unemployed actor saying that to you anyway, right?" - Jason Dohring
Stephen: You say that you think golf is different for the men than it is for women. How is it different for the men?
Carl Hiaasen: Well I think that for men every round of golf is sort of a journey into the darkest part of your soul. And I think for women it's a sport. That's the main difference that I've been able to tell.
- The Colbert Report
Five-year-old boy: How old are you?
Tutor: Twenty.
Five-year-old boy: Yeah, well, do you know how to make a monkey?
- overheardeverywhere.com
"When we find ourselves believing that killing a man makes us more of a man, but loving a man makes us less of a man, it's probably time to reexamine our criteria for manhood." - unknown
"She likes to exercise, but she doesn’t know how to count calories ('You know how some girls look at the back of the [food] label?' she asks. 'I’m like, ‘What are you looking at?''), and she illustrates this point by describing an odd experience she had keeping a food diary for a magazine article. 'I was honest and said, ‘Well, I smoked pot and then ate this and that,’ and they left all this shit out! Come on! You need that to justify why I ate a sweet potato at 12 o’ clock at night! Then they wrote, like, 'Amy doesn’t sleep too well because of all the sugar that she eats at 8 o' clock at night.' I was like, 'Fuck you!' I didn’t know they were going to critique it!" - Interview with Amy Sedaris in the June/July issue of BUST Magazine.
"I used to feel so alone in the city. All those gazillions of people and then me, on the outside. Because how do you meet a new person? I was very stumped by this for many years. And then I realized, you just say, “hi.” They may ignore you. Or you may marry them. And that possibility is worth that one word." - Augusten Burroughs
"A lot of successful people are risk-takers. Unless you're willing to do that... to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won't happen." - Phillip Adams
"YouTube has destroyed my ability to know whether I am bored or entertained." - Patton Oswalt