yesterday is gone
YESTERDAY:
spent my morning rushing to school because jess had to be there by 7:30am. max stayed with me in the car once he got to school and i was so nervous to tell him things i know would hurt him. if its one thing i hate to do is to hurt someone who hasnt done anything bad to me. anyway, i started off by asking him if we'd still be friends even if we werent together and he replied "you mean after graduation?" okay, so i guess he planned on really breaking up with me after grad, but i told him any way, "yea and whenever" and he assured me that we will be friends. 10 mins till morning bell.... "goodbye to you" by michelle branch started playing (thank you ipodmini for the shuffle mix) and i told him that we're better off as friends. he had the sternest face i ever saw and his hand was on the door. i think he felt it coming. and before i broke the news to him, he told me that we'd have lunch everyday now with his buddies so that he could be with me every day instead of every other.. and i guess that never happened. i teared a bit, but he couldnt care. or maybe he did, he just didnt want to show it. our last kiss was before we broke up was a memory. and he shook my hand before he took off for first period. going to econ class was difficult knowing things were different now so i didnt look at him at all. bell rang and him and steven darted out. when i was leaving class, he had waited for me outside but after a few words and a hug, left. he looked pretty happy from the outside but according to kelsey, she knows that he's crumbling deep down. the amazing thing about this is that his friends still treat me the same way, even nicer. which is cool.. well, i gave him my christmas present after school. he liked it a lot, but tore up the wrapper like nothing and stuffed the christmas card in his pocket. got out the shirts and stuffed it in his bag. *ouch* but im glad he liked it... and as i was talking to teresa and catie, his friend's car sped by and he waved goodbye.
holiday party was great. i was an elf.
work was cool too. nick and i are friends again and joe compliments on my pathetic layering of shirts. i saw jeannie and kelsey and randy at work. i love em all.im happy to start loving dublin because SOME people are great and friend worthy. during break i got a surprise call from macky. man, does he sound different! so anyway he's in honolulu right now and will be in LA and might drive up to SF. weiiiiird.
i ended my night shift at 10pm with lilian (breeze shopping) but ended up getting nothing because i didnt want to spend my money.
as usual, the night ends in mellow. justin comforts my soul like no other..