Hold a lover close
Who knows anymore.. seriously.. who honestly does?
Every day this week.. or at least just about, People have been asking me whats wrong, why im not talking, why im depressed, and if im okay.. and im sorry, im just not myself right now, i will be soon enough tho, just ignore me for the moment.. shit is just.. happenin, and goin through my head, sorry.. and if you read Jennys Journal, its basically what happend to me, Something just snapped in me that made me not beable to pretend that im happy and okay anymore, ill get that fixed as soon as possible.
Friday - Concert!!!!!!!!!! Thank god, i need it
Saturday - Going to my Grandmas to try to cheer her up =( and Maybe take her shopping?? How do i cheer up a grandma? urgh i feel so helpless.. i love her, i hope she's alright.
Sunday - Dave & Busters with the Gang and Nels
Ya, no fucking comment about that.
I hope after Sunday ill return to being able to fake it all again, cause im sick of being this way and have everyone be like "OMG WHATS WRONG! AHHHHHHH" its like, damn if you only knew what kinda shit goes through my head 24/7. but the thing is you dont know, you have no clue. and i like to keep it that way.
&& it's amazing
With the look in your eyes
Like you could save me
But you won't even try
-VENTING- (No retarded or mean comments please, im going through alotta shit, and i need to just.. let some of it out here.) Ya basically, dont read this, cause its just a bunch of horseshit, and me rambleing on and on about nothing. and its not to anyone, just letting you know, its like.. to myself or something.. dont ask.. im just so upset
Me and Jenny have been talking ALOT about how everyone just walks all over us, how we let them, we basically INVITE them to do it, we say its fucking okay to light our world on fire and burn it down to the ground till nothing but Ashes are left. and im so fucking sick of this life, and im so fucking sick of feeling this way. I want to be happy. I want to feel ALIVE once again. I dont wanna wake up one day and be lik 50, and regret my teenage years, cause of how i was so depressed and didnt take advantage of the time i had. And i wanna just say FUCK life, and not care anymore, and just snap my fingers and just fucking be happy! i mean wouldnt we all? I would of already done that a million years ago if i could, but i cant. and I have been trying so fucking hard to just be OKAY! let alone happy. No one really understands how hard i try, but i do, and it hurts so bad, and i try not to Spaz, or freak out, or break down, and its HARD! its really hard! Especailly when you have fucking images running through your head constantly, but look, im getting through right? im just SICK OF EVERYTHING! i wanna be able to be like "Ya im good" and mean it. Im sick of lying to everyone, im sick of basically living. I want things to change, but i know they wont for a long time, and i know im gonna live like this for a while.. but none of you know how bad it hurts, and i finally start to, at least MOVE ON WITH SOMETHING! and than here, he comes, waltzing back into my life through the back door. How do you think i feel? honestly? with all this shit going on in my life!? i cant TAKE IT ANYMORE! i seriously cant. but i have to. We all have to. We all go through so much fucking SHIT! why is our world so messed up? Im sorry to everyone that i hurt. and im sorry that im not myself anymore, and i hate saying no one understands cause i mean, everyone thinks no one understands, but right now, no one DOES understand that i can run to, and i dont know what to do really. i just, hate... everything, and i wanna change so bad. but, i cant. i guess.. I dont know. ill think of something. bye.
Miss me baby
When you hear our favorite song,
Miss me baby
And when you start to sing along
Think about all the times that we danced
In moonlight to it all night long, oh
Then miss me baby.
You want me honey,
Like you did the night you told me that you loved me
We couldn't wait anymore.
Left the keys in the door, took my hand
Pulled me down on the kitchen floor.
We were that crazy
Miss me baby.
Miss me baby,
Until you can't take it no more
Miss me baby
Pack your bags and hit the door
I'm human, I was wrong, forgive me
Come back home
I'll be waiting
Right here waiting
Miss me baby.
'Cause when she's holding you,
Know that it's killing me,
Let my memory be the reason boy
That you can't sleep
And everytime you feel her touch,
I pray to God it's not enough
That I touched your heart so deep
Boy, you can't shake me
'Cause I love you,
Yes, I need you,
Miss me baby.
And everytime you hear this song,
Miss me baby... -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And it's amazing
With the look in your eyes
Like you could save me
But you won't even try
And then you tell me again
How everything will be alright
And if I told you
That I'm sorry
Would you tell me that you were wrong
Or would you hold me down forever
If I came to you for answers
And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up, again
And I'm surrounded
You spill
All alive and brand new
And I'll forget about you long enough
To forget why I need to
And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly if
Baby you'd just rescue me now
The days are
Drifting away from me
I still wake up
Burning through everything now
And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up again
I would be heavenly if
Baby you'd just rescue me now
Pictures in my head
I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly if
Baby you'd just rescue me now
---------------------------------------------
All that we needed was right
The threshhold is breaking tonight
Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me
Focus on everything better today
All that I need and I never could say
Hold on to people they're slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away
All that we needed tonight
Are people who love us and like
I know how it feels to mean it
Oh and we leave here, you'll see
Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me
Focus on everything better today
All that I need and I never could say
Hold on to people they're slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away
So long
So long
Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me
Focus on everything better today
All that I need and I never could say
Hold on to people they're slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away
Hold on to people that are slipping away
- It’s not over, well, not in my heart any way. I still think about you every single morning, the moment I open my eyes, I close them back right away and think of you. I see images of us together again. I also still feel the butterflies. It hurts, only god knows how much, to keep feeling the same way I did when I was with you. Same feelings, same thoughts same everything…only it’s going towards nothing. I still feel it even if it’s been over for months now. It hurts to see you right in front of me and not being able to touch, hug or kiss you, and knowing you will never feel the same way about me again..
life is about trusting your feelings & taking chances ; losing
and finding h a p p i n e s s ; appreciating the memories & learning
from the pain and realizing that people always change
i HiDE A BR0KEN HEART BEHiND A
LAUGHiNG FACE.. & EVEN THOUGH
i SAiD i`M 0VER Y0U, N0 0NE WiLL
EVER TAKE ` Y0UR PLACE < \ 3
Every day this week.. or at least just about, People have been asking me whats wrong, why im not talking, why im depressed, and if im okay.. and im sorry, im just not myself right now, i will be soon enough tho, just ignore me for the moment.. shit is just.. happenin, and goin through my head, sorry.. and if you read Jennys Journal, its basically what happend to me, Something just snapped in me that made me not beable to pretend that im happy and okay anymore, ill get that fixed as soon as possible.
Friday - Concert!!!!!!!!!! Thank god, i need it
Saturday - Going to my Grandmas to try to cheer her up =( and Maybe take her shopping?? How do i cheer up a grandma? urgh i feel so helpless.. i love her, i hope she's alright.
Sunday - Dave & Busters with the Gang and Nels
Ya, no fucking comment about that.
I hope after Sunday ill return to being able to fake it all again, cause im sick of being this way and have everyone be like "OMG WHATS WRONG! AHHHHHHH" its like, damn if you only knew what kinda shit goes through my head 24/7. but the thing is you dont know, you have no clue. and i like to keep it that way.
&& it's amazing
With the look in your eyes
Like you could save me
But you won't even try
-VENTING- (No retarded or mean comments please, im going through alotta shit, and i need to just.. let some of it out here.) Ya basically, dont read this, cause its just a bunch of horseshit, and me rambleing on and on about nothing. and its not to anyone, just letting you know, its like.. to myself or something.. dont ask.. im just so upset
Me and Jenny have been talking ALOT about how everyone just walks all over us, how we let them, we basically INVITE them to do it, we say its fucking okay to light our world on fire and burn it down to the ground till nothing but Ashes are left. and im so fucking sick of this life, and im so fucking sick of feeling this way. I want to be happy. I want to feel ALIVE once again. I dont wanna wake up one day and be lik 50, and regret my teenage years, cause of how i was so depressed and didnt take advantage of the time i had. And i wanna just say FUCK life, and not care anymore, and just snap my fingers and just fucking be happy! i mean wouldnt we all? I would of already done that a million years ago if i could, but i cant. and I have been trying so fucking hard to just be OKAY! let alone happy. No one really understands how hard i try, but i do, and it hurts so bad, and i try not to Spaz, or freak out, or break down, and its HARD! its really hard! Especailly when you have fucking images running through your head constantly, but look, im getting through right? im just SICK OF EVERYTHING! i wanna be able to be like "Ya im good" and mean it. Im sick of lying to everyone, im sick of basically living. I want things to change, but i know they wont for a long time, and i know im gonna live like this for a while.. but none of you know how bad it hurts, and i finally start to, at least MOVE ON WITH SOMETHING! and than here, he comes, waltzing back into my life through the back door. How do you think i feel? honestly? with all this shit going on in my life!? i cant TAKE IT ANYMORE! i seriously cant. but i have to. We all have to. We all go through so much fucking SHIT! why is our world so messed up? Im sorry to everyone that i hurt. and im sorry that im not myself anymore, and i hate saying no one understands cause i mean, everyone thinks no one understands, but right now, no one DOES understand that i can run to, and i dont know what to do really. i just, hate... everything, and i wanna change so bad. but, i cant. i guess.. I dont know. ill think of something. bye.
Miss me baby
When you hear our favorite song,
Miss me baby
And when you start to sing along
Think about all the times that we danced
In moonlight to it all night long, oh
Then miss me baby.
You want me honey,
Like you did the night you told me that you loved me
We couldn't wait anymore.
Left the keys in the door, took my hand
Pulled me down on the kitchen floor.
We were that crazy
Miss me baby.
Miss me baby,
Until you can't take it no more
Miss me baby
Pack your bags and hit the door
I'm human, I was wrong, forgive me
Come back home
I'll be waiting
Right here waiting
Miss me baby.
'Cause when she's holding you,
Know that it's killing me,
Let my memory be the reason boy
That you can't sleep
And everytime you feel her touch,
I pray to God it's not enough
That I touched your heart so deep
Boy, you can't shake me
'Cause I love you,
Yes, I need you,
Miss me baby.
And everytime you hear this song,
Miss me baby... -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And it's amazing
With the look in your eyes
Like you could save me
But you won't even try
And then you tell me again
How everything will be alright
And if I told you
That I'm sorry
Would you tell me that you were wrong
Or would you hold me down forever
If I came to you for answers
And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up, again
And I'm surrounded
You spill
All alive and brand new
And I'll forget about you long enough
To forget why I need to
And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly if
Baby you'd just rescue me now
The days are
Drifting away from me
I still wake up
Burning through everything now
And I saw
Pictures in my head
And I swear I saw you opening up again
I would be heavenly if
Baby you'd just rescue me now
Pictures in my head
I saw you opening up again
Cause I would be heavenly if
Baby you'd just rescue me now
---------------------------------------------
All that we needed was right
The threshhold is breaking tonight
Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me
Focus on everything better today
All that I need and I never could say
Hold on to people they're slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away
All that we needed tonight
Are people who love us and like
I know how it feels to mean it
Oh and we leave here, you'll see
Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me
Focus on everything better today
All that I need and I never could say
Hold on to people they're slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away
So long
So long
Open to everything happy and sad
Seeing the good when it's all going bad
Seeing the sun when I can't really see
Hoping the sun will at least look at me
Focus on everything better today
All that I need and I never could say
Hold on to people they're slipping away
Hold on to this while it's slipping away
Hold on to people that are slipping away
- It’s not over, well, not in my heart any way. I still think about you every single morning, the moment I open my eyes, I close them back right away and think of you. I see images of us together again. I also still feel the butterflies. It hurts, only god knows how much, to keep feeling the same way I did when I was with you. Same feelings, same thoughts same everything…only it’s going towards nothing. I still feel it even if it’s been over for months now. It hurts to see you right in front of me and not being able to touch, hug or kiss you, and knowing you will never feel the same way about me again..
life is about trusting your feelings & taking chances ; losing
and finding h a p p i n e s s ; appreciating the memories & learning
from the pain and realizing that people always change
i HiDE A BR0KEN HEART BEHiND A
LAUGHiNG FACE.. & EVEN THOUGH
i SAiD i`M 0VER Y0U, N0 0NE WiLL
EVER TAKE ` Y0UR PLACE < \ 3