(no subject)
i don't know exactly what's going on in my head. i trust her so much but i can't help hating how much she's with the guys that want her beyond belief. she hangs out with them all the time and i'm almost afraid to wonder if anything happened. there's no doubt in my mind that they would try something..i just have to keep believing that she means it when she says she doesn't want them. i'm afraid to lose her...i'm afraid to mess up. i feel like i'm walking on eggshells around her when it comes to them because i'm trying to just laugh it off when really, it's confusing me so much. i just need to make it past today..tomorrow i get to see her all day and then tuesday i'm meeting her best friend..that has to count for something right? that she wants me to meet her best friend...and hopefully, if i get lucky, i'll see her on new years too...that'll be a whole year since the first time i knew i wanted her. time has flown by...and i'm entirely different than i was twelve months ago...but so is she. i can't let her go...