Boy Love 4
Title: Boy Love 4
Series: Bleach
Pairing/Characters: Abarai Renji, Urahara Kisuke, Kurosaki Ichigo, Ishida Uryu, Hisagi Shuuhei, Shihoin Yoruichi (Characters by Tite Kubo)
Warnings: None
Notes:
“Alright, we’re here to…er, Urahara-san, are you…staying?”
“You asked to hold a meeting in my store, Abarai-kun. An emergency meeting. Should I not be present?”
“Ah…yes…well, you are in this, I guess you should know.”
“Great, we can all stay. So what is it, Renji?!”
“Hold on, Ichigo. Geez. I’ll show you. Look - Matsumoto’s latest.”
“…what is that?!”
“That, Ishida, is you.”
“Yeah, Ishida, don’t you know your own Quincy cross?”
“I know I would never have it dangling there!”
“Oh my.”
“Too bad Matsumoto didn’t get Rukia to do the drawings. No one would ever know who it was supposed to be.”
“Shut up, all of you. Matsumoto’s illustrated now, and that’s a problem, but what’s worse is that this thing gets published at all.”
“H-hey, I didn’t come here to get attacked.”
“You publish it, Hisagi!”
“You say no to Matsumoto! And I’m in there too, you know. I’m just as screwed as you are.”
“According to this, that’s not in any doubt.”
“What was that, Abarai?!”
“Hey, if you don’t like it, stop helping Matsumoto!”
“She’s persuasive.”
“Persuasive enough to get you to publish stories and pictures of yourself with another man? Sounds more like blackmail to me. What does she have on you?"
"Ichigo's got a point. You'd think someone who wasn't into this stuff could put up a better fight..."
"Now, just because Hisagi-san doesn't know how to deal with a woman-"
“What?! You know, I keep her from using names and identifying marks in the stories she puts into the public distributions, alright? But if I felt like it, I could let something slip by. So you can all just back off right now. We're here now because you failed to stop Matsumoto months ago. And another thing, you all forget that-"
“What’s all this shouting?”
“Yoruichi-san!”
“Is that mine?”
“No, Hisagi brought - yours?”
“Why, Yoruichi. I had no idea you were into such things.”
“Is this little book what you’re making so much noise about? How pathetic.”
“Pardon me, Yoruichi-san…but it is a big deal. Matsumoto-san is exploiting…”
“Oh, come on. You boys are famous among the women of the Seireitei. When is that a bad thing? And you’re even more popular now that Ise is doing pictures.”
“Vice-Captain Ise?!”
“Never mind that. I know we’re popular. That’s the next problem. Here, look at this.”
“Oh…Matsumoto really has dedication to her customers. A woman after my own heart. I must compliment her next time I see her.”
“What is it?”
“This, Kurosaki-kun, is a request list. It seems the young ladies of the Seireitei know what they want and aren’t shy about asking for it. Hmmm…and some ladies here in this world, too, I see.”
“That’s why Matsumoto said I’d be getting a big order from her soon.”
“The request list? I didn’t put mine down yet. Give it here.”
“……Kuchiki Byakuya, with anyone, provided he’s not the dominant one. Yoruichi, you pervert! And I’m insulted you don’t want something to do with me.”
“Oh, someone’s already asked for that. Look - Urahara and Hirako.”
“…...I didn’t realize Hiyori was on Matsumoto’s mailing list. Oh, but Yoruichi, you’re here too.”
“Me?”
“Yoruichi-sama and Soi Fon. Ha…one guess who requested that.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
“I’d read it.”
“Shut up, Kisuke. Dirty old man.”
“Somehow, I don’t think there are many things Matsumoto wouldn’t do. She just might write that.”
“It’s true, Hisagi…wait! You’re a writer! Why don’t we do to her what she’s doing to us?”
“That won’t work.”
“What? Why not?!”
“Girls are always touching and hugging and saying I love you and junk. They won’t really care if we wrote them doing more. And we’d be called perverts.”
“Kurosaki is right. Matsumoto-san is admired for her stories. We’d be judged. Harshly.”
“Very wise, Ishida. I see why there are so many requests for you.”
“…?”
“Yes. For instance, Ichigo and yourself for Orihime…and…let’s see…ah, here we are. Ishida Uryu paired with anyone. Hmm, not picky, that one.”
“…who?”
“Kurotsuchi Nemu. You must have made quite the impression when I brought you to the Seireitei...naughty boy.”
“…”
“Orihime's requesting me and Ishida…heh…”
“Shut up, Kurosaki. I’m sure you get yours in other requests.”
“Actually, Ichigo seems to have the pleasure of being the dominant one in all of these. Ahh…even Rukia’s.”
“Rukia?! Give me - Ichigo paired with Renji?! Just wait until I see her…”
“Oh, Abarai-kun, don’t be so upset. Look, Hinamori-san likes you in the top position, so to speak.”
“Momo? She…Renji and…that’s it. She’s not allowed watching us train anymore.”
“Rikichi..?”
“That’s the kid who got a tattoo like yours, huh?”
“Don’t bring that up, Hisagi. I’m sure Matsumoto will be mentioning your own when she writes her personal favourite…Muguruma-san and yourself.”
“Oh, shut it. Is there anyone besides the bunch of us on that list?”
“Kotetsu Isane put down Madarame and Ayasegawa…”
“Why aren’t they here, anyway?”
“I asked them to come, but…they…they don’t care what Matsumoto writes. They said it doesn‘t bother them. I didn’t exactly push the issue after that.”
“…and Captain Kyoraku is in a lot of these…”
“Yadomaru likes anything with him, I see…and the lovely Ise seems to enjoy reading about her captain and Ukitake. What is it with girls and their captains?”
“Ukitake is in high demand. Look here, Kotetsu Kiyone requested him and anyone…and…wow, even Unohana agreed with that one. My.”
“Would you two stop laughing about this?! You don’t care, Yoruichi-san, for obvious reasons, but Urahara-san, people are reading these!”
“Yes, well, I’ve never understood why people make a big deal out of things like this.”
“You mean, you don’t mind because you’re just as interested.”
“Why, Yoruichi, I don’t know what you mean.”
“Ha. Now give me that, it belongs to Matsumoto.”
“What? No, don’t give it to her!!”
“If you won’t give it to me, she and Ise will find out exactly where it is.”
“Alright, alright, fine! I don’t need those two mad at me. But if all those get printed, Hisagi, I’m going to kill you.”
“Wha - are you threatening me?”
“I just said I was going to kill you. Are you deaf?”
“I’m not listening to anymore of this.”
“You’re the one who first brought this to our attention, Ishida.”
“Don’t take it out on him.”
“Getting defensive of him, Ichigo? Maybe Orihime knows something we - ow!! Don’t kick me!!”
“Then don’t say such stupid things, Renji. Idiot.”
“Well, boys, I’ll leave you to your discussion.”
“Gentlemen, clean up when you’re done.”
“…alright, problem number three.”
“There’s more?! Geez, Renji, did you go looking for problems? How did you even get that list in the first place?”
“Rukia had it. It fell out of her…umm…it just fell out of her uniform. She didn’t notice, and…she was busy fixing her...ah...does it matter?!”
“Please, Abarai-san, the third problem?”
“This is the third problem.”
“Is this…? A poll?”
“A popularity poll. And look who’s in the top ten.”
“……none of us.”
“Exactly. We should be.”
“You’re upset that Matsumoto-san is writing about you, but then you’re upset that you’re not one of the more popular subjects?”
“If she’s gonna do it, and Hisagi is gonna publish it…”
“…!”
“Then yes, I think I at least should be one of the more popular choices. I mean, look who's number one. I can't just let that go.”
“Abarai-san…”
“That’s it.”
“Kurosaki?”
“Let’s talk to Matsumoto again.”
Series: Bleach
Pairing/Characters: Abarai Renji, Urahara Kisuke, Kurosaki Ichigo, Ishida Uryu, Hisagi Shuuhei, Shihoin Yoruichi (Characters by Tite Kubo)
Warnings: None
Notes:
“Alright, we’re here to…er, Urahara-san, are you…staying?”
“You asked to hold a meeting in my store, Abarai-kun. An emergency meeting. Should I not be present?”
“Ah…yes…well, you are in this, I guess you should know.”
“Great, we can all stay. So what is it, Renji?!”
“Hold on, Ichigo. Geez. I’ll show you. Look - Matsumoto’s latest.”
“…what is that?!”
“That, Ishida, is you.”
“Yeah, Ishida, don’t you know your own Quincy cross?”
“I know I would never have it dangling there!”
“Oh my.”
“Too bad Matsumoto didn’t get Rukia to do the drawings. No one would ever know who it was supposed to be.”
“Shut up, all of you. Matsumoto’s illustrated now, and that’s a problem, but what’s worse is that this thing gets published at all.”
“H-hey, I didn’t come here to get attacked.”
“You publish it, Hisagi!”
“You say no to Matsumoto! And I’m in there too, you know. I’m just as screwed as you are.”
“According to this, that’s not in any doubt.”
“What was that, Abarai?!”
“Hey, if you don’t like it, stop helping Matsumoto!”
“She’s persuasive.”
“Persuasive enough to get you to publish stories and pictures of yourself with another man? Sounds more like blackmail to me. What does she have on you?"
"Ichigo's got a point. You'd think someone who wasn't into this stuff could put up a better fight..."
"Now, just because Hisagi-san doesn't know how to deal with a woman-"
“What?! You know, I keep her from using names and identifying marks in the stories she puts into the public distributions, alright? But if I felt like it, I could let something slip by. So you can all just back off right now. We're here now because you failed to stop Matsumoto months ago. And another thing, you all forget that-"
“What’s all this shouting?”
“Yoruichi-san!”
“Is that mine?”
“No, Hisagi brought - yours?”
“Why, Yoruichi. I had no idea you were into such things.”
“Is this little book what you’re making so much noise about? How pathetic.”
“Pardon me, Yoruichi-san…but it is a big deal. Matsumoto-san is exploiting…”
“Oh, come on. You boys are famous among the women of the Seireitei. When is that a bad thing? And you’re even more popular now that Ise is doing pictures.”
“Vice-Captain Ise?!”
“Never mind that. I know we’re popular. That’s the next problem. Here, look at this.”
“Oh…Matsumoto really has dedication to her customers. A woman after my own heart. I must compliment her next time I see her.”
“What is it?”
“This, Kurosaki-kun, is a request list. It seems the young ladies of the Seireitei know what they want and aren’t shy about asking for it. Hmmm…and some ladies here in this world, too, I see.”
“That’s why Matsumoto said I’d be getting a big order from her soon.”
“The request list? I didn’t put mine down yet. Give it here.”
“……Kuchiki Byakuya, with anyone, provided he’s not the dominant one. Yoruichi, you pervert! And I’m insulted you don’t want something to do with me.”
“Oh, someone’s already asked for that. Look - Urahara and Hirako.”
“…...I didn’t realize Hiyori was on Matsumoto’s mailing list. Oh, but Yoruichi, you’re here too.”
“Me?”
“Yoruichi-sama and Soi Fon. Ha…one guess who requested that.”
“It’s not going to happen.”
“I’d read it.”
“Shut up, Kisuke. Dirty old man.”
“Somehow, I don’t think there are many things Matsumoto wouldn’t do. She just might write that.”
“It’s true, Hisagi…wait! You’re a writer! Why don’t we do to her what she’s doing to us?”
“That won’t work.”
“What? Why not?!”
“Girls are always touching and hugging and saying I love you and junk. They won’t really care if we wrote them doing more. And we’d be called perverts.”
“Kurosaki is right. Matsumoto-san is admired for her stories. We’d be judged. Harshly.”
“Very wise, Ishida. I see why there are so many requests for you.”
“…?”
“Yes. For instance, Ichigo and yourself for Orihime…and…let’s see…ah, here we are. Ishida Uryu paired with anyone. Hmm, not picky, that one.”
“…who?”
“Kurotsuchi Nemu. You must have made quite the impression when I brought you to the Seireitei...naughty boy.”
“…”
“Orihime's requesting me and Ishida…heh…”
“Shut up, Kurosaki. I’m sure you get yours in other requests.”
“Actually, Ichigo seems to have the pleasure of being the dominant one in all of these. Ahh…even Rukia’s.”
“Rukia?! Give me - Ichigo paired with Renji?! Just wait until I see her…”
“Oh, Abarai-kun, don’t be so upset. Look, Hinamori-san likes you in the top position, so to speak.”
“Momo? She…Renji and…that’s it. She’s not allowed watching us train anymore.”
“Rikichi..?”
“That’s the kid who got a tattoo like yours, huh?”
“Don’t bring that up, Hisagi. I’m sure Matsumoto will be mentioning your own when she writes her personal favourite…Muguruma-san and yourself.”
“Oh, shut it. Is there anyone besides the bunch of us on that list?”
“Kotetsu Isane put down Madarame and Ayasegawa…”
“Why aren’t they here, anyway?”
“I asked them to come, but…they…they don’t care what Matsumoto writes. They said it doesn‘t bother them. I didn’t exactly push the issue after that.”
“…and Captain Kyoraku is in a lot of these…”
“Yadomaru likes anything with him, I see…and the lovely Ise seems to enjoy reading about her captain and Ukitake. What is it with girls and their captains?”
“Ukitake is in high demand. Look here, Kotetsu Kiyone requested him and anyone…and…wow, even Unohana agreed with that one. My.”
“Would you two stop laughing about this?! You don’t care, Yoruichi-san, for obvious reasons, but Urahara-san, people are reading these!”
“Yes, well, I’ve never understood why people make a big deal out of things like this.”
“You mean, you don’t mind because you’re just as interested.”
“Why, Yoruichi, I don’t know what you mean.”
“Ha. Now give me that, it belongs to Matsumoto.”
“What? No, don’t give it to her!!”
“If you won’t give it to me, she and Ise will find out exactly where it is.”
“Alright, alright, fine! I don’t need those two mad at me. But if all those get printed, Hisagi, I’m going to kill you.”
“Wha - are you threatening me?”
“I just said I was going to kill you. Are you deaf?”
“I’m not listening to anymore of this.”
“You’re the one who first brought this to our attention, Ishida.”
“Don’t take it out on him.”
“Getting defensive of him, Ichigo? Maybe Orihime knows something we - ow!! Don’t kick me!!”
“Then don’t say such stupid things, Renji. Idiot.”
“Well, boys, I’ll leave you to your discussion.”
“Gentlemen, clean up when you’re done.”
“…alright, problem number three.”
“There’s more?! Geez, Renji, did you go looking for problems? How did you even get that list in the first place?”
“Rukia had it. It fell out of her…umm…it just fell out of her uniform. She didn’t notice, and…she was busy fixing her...ah...does it matter?!”
“Please, Abarai-san, the third problem?”
“This is the third problem.”
“Is this…? A poll?”
“A popularity poll. And look who’s in the top ten.”
“……none of us.”
“Exactly. We should be.”
“You’re upset that Matsumoto-san is writing about you, but then you’re upset that you’re not one of the more popular subjects?”
“If she’s gonna do it, and Hisagi is gonna publish it…”
“…!”
“Then yes, I think I at least should be one of the more popular choices. I mean, look who's number one. I can't just let that go.”
“Abarai-san…”
“That’s it.”
“Kurosaki?”
“Let’s talk to Matsumoto again.”