sigh
sooo...
on black girl long hair lately there have been all these (what i find divisive) posts about "natural" black women whose hair is not nappy. now today there's a post about is curly hair "natural"
wtf????
doesn't "natural" just mean what grows out of your scalp?
then the poster made the comment that she doesn't understand why women with curly hair complain...HMMMMM maybe that's because you don't have curly hair?
i admit my "hair privilege". i get told i have "pretty " or "good" hair alot. i get the "i wish my hair would do that" comments. i can use a lot of "white people" hair products and they work on my hair to the desired effect.
however, i hated my hair when i was growing up. my parents were anti-perms and my mother didn't know what to do with my hair besides fry it to death. because although my parents didn't like perms, they weren't big on natural hair either, so my hair always looked a mess. and even though i had never had a perm, i really didn't know what my hair's natural texture was like.
all i knew was that it never fully held a press. my hair would always poof up and i would wish that it could just be straight. i would put ridiculous amounts of grease and vaseline in my hair to try to slick it down so it could lie flat like all the other girls. when i tried to wear my hair in its natural curls, i got frustrated because it never looked "right".
i couldn't WAIT til i was 14 and got my 1st perm. and i loved it. and yeah, i got the "you got pretty hair, you don't need no perm" type comments but...in reality...if i want my hair to be and remain straight...i DO need a perm. so i disregarded those comments. i was just happy to finally feel "cute".
i went back natural the summer after i graduated from high school. i had wanted to start earlier, but there was so much pressure from my classmates & family to perm my hair so that my hair would look "pretty" for prom and graduation. so i caved in.
in college i did a "big chop". i hated it at first and felt like the ugliest, fattest, bald-headed girl on 2 legs. after awhile i really did learn my hair and i really liked it...and the curls became part of my identity. but eventually i wanted straight hair again so i permed again...& it's true, that if you have curly hair, it is easier to transition from perm to natural or to go back & forth b/c most people don't really notice the difference.
but i knew the difference and at times i felt ashamed that i was so incapable of accepting my natural hair and resorted to perms. and after awhile it wasn't even about wanting my hair to be straight, i just didn't feel like taking care of it so i just slapped perms on it. that's why they call it creamy crack. b/c while it may not be "easier" to take care of permed hair, it's what most people are more accustomed to doing and have more knowledge of.
and when i went natural for real, and rocked fros and twists i got plenty of flack from my family... "i guess you just want your hair to be as ugly as it can be." "when you gon do your hair?" "don't you want your hair to look nice?" "can you please do SOMETHING to your hair?"
on the other hand, yes, there have been times where guys have found my curly hair more attractive than a nappy texture...but i've dated some of those same guys and at some point most of them expressed a desire for me to wear my hair straight more often, because that's the standard of beauty.
and on the other end of the spectrum, there are guys who aren't attracted to me b/c their image of what a "black queen" should look like doesn't have curly hair & may have darker skin.
and i don't take any of the shit personally.
it has been a journey to accept my hair for what it is.
i do think i have "pretty" hair. i think my hair is beautiful, i love my hair. i wouldn't trade it for nothing in the world. If someone else doesn't feel the same way about her hair that's not my problem. i have never walked around thinking my hair was "better" than anyone else's. i've never looked at someone's nappy hair and thought it was ugly or bad. i wasn't raised that way.
i love nappy hair. it's a whole lotta natural hairstyles i wish i could wear but can't, b/c they only look right or work on a kinkier texture. i'm not mad about that. i just rock what works for me.
but to tell me i'm not NATURAL because my hair is naturally curly, or that black women with curly hair don't have it "easy"...that's just stupid. easIER sure. but we are subject to the same societal standards of beauty too, and that is not brown-skinned women with curly/kinky hair.
even in that movie where sanaa lathan was supposed to be going natural...all they did was give her permed hair (or maybe it was weave) a rod set (as if we black women wouldn't notice)...
there are way more black women now with natural hair of all textures in the media but it still is a very small percentage of representations of black women.
on black girl long hair lately there have been all these (what i find divisive) posts about "natural" black women whose hair is not nappy. now today there's a post about is curly hair "natural"
wtf????
doesn't "natural" just mean what grows out of your scalp?
then the poster made the comment that she doesn't understand why women with curly hair complain...HMMMMM maybe that's because you don't have curly hair?
i admit my "hair privilege". i get told i have "pretty " or "good" hair alot. i get the "i wish my hair would do that" comments. i can use a lot of "white people" hair products and they work on my hair to the desired effect.
however, i hated my hair when i was growing up. my parents were anti-perms and my mother didn't know what to do with my hair besides fry it to death. because although my parents didn't like perms, they weren't big on natural hair either, so my hair always looked a mess. and even though i had never had a perm, i really didn't know what my hair's natural texture was like.
all i knew was that it never fully held a press. my hair would always poof up and i would wish that it could just be straight. i would put ridiculous amounts of grease and vaseline in my hair to try to slick it down so it could lie flat like all the other girls. when i tried to wear my hair in its natural curls, i got frustrated because it never looked "right".
i couldn't WAIT til i was 14 and got my 1st perm. and i loved it. and yeah, i got the "you got pretty hair, you don't need no perm" type comments but...in reality...if i want my hair to be and remain straight...i DO need a perm. so i disregarded those comments. i was just happy to finally feel "cute".
i went back natural the summer after i graduated from high school. i had wanted to start earlier, but there was so much pressure from my classmates & family to perm my hair so that my hair would look "pretty" for prom and graduation. so i caved in.
in college i did a "big chop". i hated it at first and felt like the ugliest, fattest, bald-headed girl on 2 legs. after awhile i really did learn my hair and i really liked it...and the curls became part of my identity. but eventually i wanted straight hair again so i permed again...& it's true, that if you have curly hair, it is easier to transition from perm to natural or to go back & forth b/c most people don't really notice the difference.
but i knew the difference and at times i felt ashamed that i was so incapable of accepting my natural hair and resorted to perms. and after awhile it wasn't even about wanting my hair to be straight, i just didn't feel like taking care of it so i just slapped perms on it. that's why they call it creamy crack. b/c while it may not be "easier" to take care of permed hair, it's what most people are more accustomed to doing and have more knowledge of.
and when i went natural for real, and rocked fros and twists i got plenty of flack from my family... "i guess you just want your hair to be as ugly as it can be." "when you gon do your hair?" "don't you want your hair to look nice?" "can you please do SOMETHING to your hair?"
on the other hand, yes, there have been times where guys have found my curly hair more attractive than a nappy texture...but i've dated some of those same guys and at some point most of them expressed a desire for me to wear my hair straight more often, because that's the standard of beauty.
and on the other end of the spectrum, there are guys who aren't attracted to me b/c their image of what a "black queen" should look like doesn't have curly hair & may have darker skin.
and i don't take any of the shit personally.
it has been a journey to accept my hair for what it is.
i do think i have "pretty" hair. i think my hair is beautiful, i love my hair. i wouldn't trade it for nothing in the world. If someone else doesn't feel the same way about her hair that's not my problem. i have never walked around thinking my hair was "better" than anyone else's. i've never looked at someone's nappy hair and thought it was ugly or bad. i wasn't raised that way.
i love nappy hair. it's a whole lotta natural hairstyles i wish i could wear but can't, b/c they only look right or work on a kinkier texture. i'm not mad about that. i just rock what works for me.
but to tell me i'm not NATURAL because my hair is naturally curly, or that black women with curly hair don't have it "easy"...that's just stupid. easIER sure. but we are subject to the same societal standards of beauty too, and that is not brown-skinned women with curly/kinky hair.
even in that movie where sanaa lathan was supposed to be going natural...all they did was give her permed hair (or maybe it was weave) a rod set (as if we black women wouldn't notice)...
there are way more black women now with natural hair of all textures in the media but it still is a very small percentage of representations of black women.