hmph
yesterday i started feeling the kinda "down"ness that i (thankfully) haven't felt since may...
things were feeling really bleak...
i just feel like i know entirely too many people who are facing jail time, homelessness, and terminal illness. & then a whole lot more who are struggling just to make it...when "making it" is little motivation to keep going...i know life was never guaranteed to be easy or stable...or even to continue...
but it's just a mood i feel...
so i'm going down to the office tomorrow b/c that's some fuck shit.
i prayed about it and bought some liquor so i feel better now, lol.
for now i just have to focus on the interim...
being more productive at work...
keeping on track with school...
last night i was submitting an assignment on our school's webclient and my laptop crashed so i lost everything. this occurred around 9:30p.m. and the assignment i was working on was due at 11pm. fortunately, i can turn it in within the week for 90% credit...
i'm waiting on a grade from another class to see what i have in that...my 3rd class I have a definite "A" in right now...There are only about 6 more weeks of school...pretty sure I can get 3 As...have 2 finals, 2 major projects and a couple more response papers to write.
with my student teaching, all is going well...tomorrow is the day i totally run the show, so i'm hoping for the best...
& then i got another noise disturbance notice in my door...this is like the 3rd one in 3 months...the 1st one was well-deserved...the 2nd i won't contest either. but this is ridiculous...now someone claims they heard stomping and bumping...i know they are not talking about when i knocked my lamp over...WTF...
there's so much shit that wakes me up when i'm catching up on my sleep: other people's alarm clocks, kids running through the stairwells when they are leaving to or coming home from school, other people's parties, people moving around their furniture at odd hours, things that sound like sex sounds...shit if i leave my window open and someone across my courtyard is talking that wakes me up too...do i complain about any of this shit? no...
because i know that living in a densely populated setup like an apartment complex, means i'm going to have to deal with other people's shit sometimes.
maybe i'm going deaf or some shit, b/c nothing ever seems that loud to me anymore. i don't even play music after quiet hours anymore (which starts at 10 pm & ends at 7am)...but now i'm being reported for the sounds i make when i'm cleaning up and accidentally knock my lamp over!!????!!? wtf !!!
this complex is soooooo quiet though. like facist-ly quiet which is why i'm trippin.
it bothers me that i have no inspiration to write anymore, not "for real"...
things were feeling really bleak...
i just feel like i know entirely too many people who are facing jail time, homelessness, and terminal illness. & then a whole lot more who are struggling just to make it...when "making it" is little motivation to keep going...i know life was never guaranteed to be easy or stable...or even to continue...
but it's just a mood i feel...
so i'm going down to the office tomorrow b/c that's some fuck shit.
i prayed about it and bought some liquor so i feel better now, lol.
for now i just have to focus on the interim...
being more productive at work...
keeping on track with school...
last night i was submitting an assignment on our school's webclient and my laptop crashed so i lost everything. this occurred around 9:30p.m. and the assignment i was working on was due at 11pm. fortunately, i can turn it in within the week for 90% credit...
i'm waiting on a grade from another class to see what i have in that...my 3rd class I have a definite "A" in right now...There are only about 6 more weeks of school...pretty sure I can get 3 As...have 2 finals, 2 major projects and a couple more response papers to write.
with my student teaching, all is going well...tomorrow is the day i totally run the show, so i'm hoping for the best...
& then i got another noise disturbance notice in my door...this is like the 3rd one in 3 months...the 1st one was well-deserved...the 2nd i won't contest either. but this is ridiculous...now someone claims they heard stomping and bumping...i know they are not talking about when i knocked my lamp over...WTF...
there's so much shit that wakes me up when i'm catching up on my sleep: other people's alarm clocks, kids running through the stairwells when they are leaving to or coming home from school, other people's parties, people moving around their furniture at odd hours, things that sound like sex sounds...shit if i leave my window open and someone across my courtyard is talking that wakes me up too...do i complain about any of this shit? no...
because i know that living in a densely populated setup like an apartment complex, means i'm going to have to deal with other people's shit sometimes.
maybe i'm going deaf or some shit, b/c nothing ever seems that loud to me anymore. i don't even play music after quiet hours anymore (which starts at 10 pm & ends at 7am)...but now i'm being reported for the sounds i make when i'm cleaning up and accidentally knock my lamp over!!????!!? wtf !!!
this complex is soooooo quiet though. like facist-ly quiet which is why i'm trippin.
it bothers me that i have no inspiration to write anymore, not "for real"...